Friday, February 22, 2008

Remembering the Super Feeling Coniong Ben Tumbling

Some of you guys might not recall this one character Ben Tumbling I used to write as. Except for Bryan and Devilish, I think. But this was way back in 2006, I think, when me and my offline friends, like Ate and Princess Baldo, were usually "in character." We still are. Anyway, think of Ben as this feeling conio monkey who works in a call center and thinks he's all that plus two snaps in a circle. And he likes to make lait a lot in this very foolish dialect that's almost the closest to monkey grunts that makes sense.

Automatic writing is
involuntary or unconscious writing: the production of writing while in a trance or similar state as an attempt to make contact with the writer's unconscious or telepathically with a supposed spirit
Or possessed. Think Regan Macneil in Blatty's The Exorcist. Believe me, this is sooo not the case. Anyway, help yourself to some of Ben Tumbling's posts.

Manong, Doo Yoo Hab A BAHL-pen?
Ben Tumbling Goes Blog-Hopping and Makes "Lait"
Ben Tumbling Discusses Gay Queen's Libog
Ben Tumbling Discusses Elevator Etiquette
Swearing on Blogrolling
Gaway Gaway Grammar and Jovit Moya

So That's How It Works

I just transferred funds from my PayPal account to my bank account today. I was hoping to receive the cash within the same day, but that's just too much wishful thinking. The very effortless transaction promises to deliver within 5-7 business days.

I've been collecting my income from this blog's several paid advertisements for some time now, and I withdrew some of the revenue today. I've never tried this before, but it's still a good thing to have some sort of income in an almost monetized blog like what I have here. It isn't much, really, but we'll see what happens next.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Wordy Hello

Hi. In case you haven't noticed yet, or you just don't care, let me mention it anyway -- I have reinvented the blog layout. Again. I have a point in stating the obvious, though, because I need to reel you in for the punchline, which at this point, will have shed some of it surprise and therefore will no longer be as formidable.

I wish I am the Madonna of Bloggers. And the verbal diarrhea is on purpose, because I recall this one time when some mommy blogger mentioned my blog is all about wordy nonsense, and I tried to be deliberate about it this time around just so I can tire myself. Speaking of effort, I am trying to hit a quota with my horror reviews. At least twenty before I can move on to regular programming, which is a whole plenty of desensitizing bullshit this 2008. Which, I think, I'm carrying on very punctuatedly: I'm on my way to my first twenty horror movie reviews.

I do have other plans though for content: I'm thinking of featuring quotes from some very infamous serial killers, despots, poisoners, and basically all around atrocious people. See, I've been doing a whole plenty of fine reading, and that got me thinking. Why keep all these details to myself when I can, and I ought to, blog about it? So I will, and that's that, and that's more of an advantage anyway because I'll never run out of crop. It's all in sync with my theme for 2008 anyway, which is all about desensitizing, look it up, and I'm just mentioning.

Truth is, the new layout is inspired by the books that I'm reading right now.

And the one before that:

And the one before that:

And the one before that:

Was is "You are what you read?" Or was it something about the diet? Anyway, you're reading me now, and that's just super, thanks for the hits, and I'm still not sure if that's a compliment. Oh, I'm still in the mood for more wordy nonsense, but that'll have to wait, long posts are just a drag.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Horror Movie Review #17: Ichi the Killer

Directed By: Takashi Miike
Release Date: May 30, 2003
Running Time: 123 minutes
Language: Japanese
Horror Type: Serial Killers
Sex? - Plenty. And there's this funny scene where Ichi masturbates outside this couple's apartment, and he spills some sperm on their potted plants.
Gore? - Hell. Yeah.
Momel's Rating: 4/5

It's a strong story about Yakuza politics. Or something like that. But its got Yakuza and politics on it, so I'm thinking it ought to be something like that. Plus it has this guy named Ichi, and he's the messiest mass murderer ever, and he's wearing this kick ass shoe with an implement that looks very much like a cock fighter's gaff. And there's this other guy Kakihara who's so totally boss with his mouth that's clipped in two different places because it's so wide; he puffs smoke from his cheeks, and he cuts his own tongue and gets it sewn in the same hour. I wasn't paying that much attention to the story on account of all this excessive violence got in the way and caused me to be very, very distracted. I loved it. Not every minute of it, it tends to drag at some parts, but the whole of it just the same.

There are two things that endear this film to any fanatic. It has some of the most remarkable characters around, and the torture scenes are to gag for. Ichi's this unassuming killer with the craziest moves and a pitiful upbringing, whereas Kakihara's this wide mouthed total sadist on the look out for the ultimate pain. It can be argued that most Japanese people look alike, but these two characters, however totally singular, are brought to life by their near madness caused by an intolerable blood lust. Kakihara's methods are a little more painful than Ichi's frenzied killing sprees, but they both inspire and force that animated and involuntary EW! most affected viewers are known for.

Again, their killing methods are contrasting: Kakihara tortures, whereas Ichi kills in a frenzy. Kakihara is known to suspend this Yakuza guy with hooks placed along his back, and then throws boiling tempura oil on the poor dude's backside and face. He finishes it off with some playful teasing using some steel implements and testicles. There's also this nipple cutting scene with Kakihara on it, but he lets his men play out the perversion. Ichi, however, kills in a frenzied emotional state, and he does so with razor gaffs attached to his shoes. He splits this guy halfway from the scalp, severs this woman's feet after a refused blowjob, and is more popular with his messier kills. He's basically an emotional wreck, and this probably explains why his kills are more bloodstained.

Ichi the Killer could have been perfect, but the story tends to drag at times. It makes up for it though with shocking in-your-face violence which trademarks this popular Japanese title as one of the dirtier titles there is.

Horror Movie Review #16: Battle Royale

Directed By: Kinji Fukasaku
Release Date: March 23, 2001
Running Time: 113 minutes
Language: Japanese
Horror Type: Genocide
Sex? - Nope. But you don't notice it anyway.
Gore? - Indeed.
Momel's Rating: 5/5

It was a dreadful year in Japan. Them Japanese big wigs, in an attempt to control the population of juvenile delinquents, wrote down and passed the B.R. Act, or Battle Royale. It's a very interesting and weird concept, like most Japanese things are, because this law consummates in this survival of the fittest kind of tournament which involves one randomly chosen class of high school kids. What's happening here is that they kill each other in a dog eat dog competition where only one survivor emerges victorious, and this movie documents the brutal elimination of a 42-strong class of high school students in each others suddenly murderous hands. Of course made necessary by sanctioned tournament rules.

A group of 42 high school students (Class 3B) are taken against their will in this desolated island where the tournament rules (B.R. Rules) are explained to them in strikingly deadly clarity. Each was given a random set of weapons with which they must kill until the third day, where the tournament will finish with only one survivor, that's one or nothing since tournament rules strictly impose a one winner slash survivor policy; everybody dies if that's not met on the third day. They are each equipped with a necklace that acts as a tracking device which tracks their heartbeat and their survival rate. This same necklace, as some sort of insurance, doubles as a bomb that detonates on the third day, just to make sure that the one-winner policy is met.

Battle Royale is one of those Japanese films that you just don't forget for some reason. As Ichi the Killer is remarkable for its brutality and Ringu is for its freaky, Battle Royale has this big and unbelievable dick for a story, and fucks everybody in the face with the execution. It has the pacing of a champion F1 racer, and its singleness of purpose will kill its characters in a heartbeat just to make a point. It's anime-ish interpretation is a big plus; although there is no cosplay involved, it has elements which are reminiscent of Japanese Student Manga. It has no sex, but we are treated to a relentless feast of murder and intensity. It's the perfect non-erotic cheap thrill, I tell you, and such brutality can never be captured any more perfectly.

Horror Movie Review #15: 5ive Girls

Directed By: Warren P. Sonoda
Release Date: October 10, 2006
Running Time: 89 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Demons
Sex? - Nope, but we see tits on this half naked possessed chick emerging from the bathtub.
Gore? - There's this cross that penetrates from the back of the skull and exits outside the mouth. Just that.
Momel's Rating: 2/5

It begins with a possession scene, some Aramaic, breaking crucifixes, shattered rosaries, and the Lord's Prayer in punk rock. Just about the right amount of sacrilege that hopes to get the ball rolling, but the interest peaks there. Any movie that mentions Aramaic has got to have some sort of demon possession in its lifetime, and that's exactly what was supposed to happen in this film. Props.

St Mark's Alternative School for Girls is more like juvie hall than a reformatory. It's excessively stringent methods are nothing short of military; they do Glory Be's like they do push ups. But that's probably the point because they are meant to house hooligans, hoodlums, and delinquents. And that's where our five girls come in. Truth is, these five girls are the only students in St Marks. And what makes them special, more like gifted, is that they all have superhuman powers, like Hiro-Nakamura-in-HEROES powers: one's telekinetic, another one walks through walls and solid objects, one's blind with second sight, there's a faith healer, and one's a Wiccan practitioner. Charged with all these powers, these five acting school drop outs investigate the haunting spiritual manifestations happening in St Mark's. But it turns out the headmistress is this hardcore satanist who needs to sacrifice five girls in exchange for her dead sister's soul.

This tacky The Craft rip off has an okay pacing and an interesting plot, but the execution's a little too, well, referential. It has elements already popularized and exhausted in some other titles: the magical sisterhood already peaked in The Craft (or Charmed if you may), superhuman gifts in Tim Krung's Heroes, and a group of girl retards in Girl, Interrupted. I hate to break this to them, but all those elements aren't really bringing it on. Truth is, it doesn't have its own charm. And we're talking about a movie about five girls.

Horror Movie Review #14: Gacy

Directed By: Clive Saunders
Release Date: January 1, 2002
Running Time: 89 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Serial Killers
Sex? - Where's the gay sex?
Gore? - If the stink of the boys he buried beneath the crawl space were gore, it'll rate fantastic.
Momel's Rating: 1/5

I first encountered the name John Wayne Gacy in a book entitled "The World's Most Infamous Serial Killers." And it was no coincidence that I had the pleasure of reading about this PEDERAST: he sodomized and murdered at least 33 boys and young men in his lifetime as a serial killer. Yes, boys, and this crazed closet queen was a personal favorite not only because we read the same bible, but he has the makings of the ultimate boogey man: he's a serial killer, and he's a closet queen. The fact that he wears a clown costume, although not often, makes for a morbid touch, and it heightens the frightening presence that he conceals beneath his seemingly normal facade.

That's John Wayne Gacy in the books. The John Wayne Gacy in this film, however, is just unremarkable. The film does come close to showing us what Gacy's problem is. He's this fat middle aged family man with this intense homosexual longing that is controlled only by his family and his community status. But that holds him only for so long because he eventually gives in and begins to covertly address his perverted persuasions, and thus he begins a trail of murder that reveals his homosexual appetite. He becomes uncontrollable, even to himself, and that gives him away.

For some obvious reason, a heavy amount of restraint and censorship was observed with this very soft spoken depiction of one of the most infamous crazies in the annals of American history. Which is totally normal for some movie about a serial killing gay man in a clown suit, but what happens to actual appeal is a question that only a target audience can answer. I'm sure fans of this serial killer will appreciate that a movie about him was actually produced, but fans of crime and horror will find better crop elsewhere. Watch Ted Bundy instead.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Happy Chinese New Year

Hope you guys liked the two chinese horror movies I prepared. In the meantime, here's something on the very familiar Chinese Hopping Vampire, courtesy of
Jiang Shi, sometimes called Chinese vampires by Westerners, are reanimated corpses that hop around, killing living creatures to absorb life essence (Æø/šâq¨¬) from their victims. They are said to be created when a person's soul (ÆÇ p¨°) fails to leave the deceased's body, due to improper death, suicide, or just wanting to cause trouble. Generally their appearance can range from plain ordinary to downright horrifying. An unusual feature of folklore is their greenish-white furry skin; one theory is this is derived from fungus or mould growing on corpses. They are said to have long white hair all over their heads

Jiang Shis were a popular subject in Hong Kong movies during the 1980s; some movies even featured both Jiang Shis and "Western" zombies. In the movies, Jiang Shis can be put to sleep by putting on their foreheads a piece of yellow paper with a spell written on it (Chinese talisman or ·û, pinyin: f¨²). Generally in the movies the Jiang Shi are dressed in imperial Qing Dynasty clothes, their arms permanently outstretched due to rigor mortis. Like those depicted in Western movies, they tend to appear with an outrageously long tongues and long razor sharp black fingernails. They can be evaded by holding one's breath, as they track living creatures by detecting their breathing. They're blind, and lack knowledge. Their visual depiction as horrific Qing Dynasty officials reflects a common stereotype among the Han Chinese of the foreign Manchu people, who founded the much-despised dynasty, as bloodthirsty creatures with little regard for humanity.

Horror Movie Review #13: A Chinese Ghost Story III

Directed By: Ching Siu-Tung
Release Date: 1991
Running Time: 90 minutes
Language: Chinese
Horror Type: Ghosts
Sex? - Lip action, all these beautiful seductresses...sigh
Gore? - Hm, one decapitation, some dismemberment, no more than five seconds total
Momel's Rating: 4/5

A trio of magical kung fu fighters subdue the Tree Devil in a fantastic martial arts battle that seals the Tree Devil's fate for 100 years. The seal fades after a hundred years, and the Tree Devil revives to raise hell.

A travelling Elder Monk and his student Fong, more like his protege, spends the night in the Haunted Orchid Temple. Unknown to them, the Tree Devil's Lady Ghosts frequent this place to lure men to their deaths, and it is by a chance encounter that Fong suffers and survives the seductions of Lotus, Orchid Temple's Lady Ghost. He eventually befriends Lotus, but the trouble is, they're two agents working for opposite forces. He's a monk and she's a ghost working for the Tree Devil. A very impressive martial arts battle results in the Elder Monks kidnap, and its up to Fong, with the aid of Lotus the Lady Ghost and, along the way, Yin, a mercenary swordsman with wicked sword skills and insane magical spells at his disposal, to rescue the Elder Monk. They do so, and they obtain Lotus' urn in the process, and this serves as a catalyst to two climactic battles of epic proportions.

Although replete with amazing kung fu action and flying people and explosive magical spells, it still is a horror movie, a ghost story to be more specific. And although the Chinese ghosts are nowhere near the transparent Western crop or the occasional poltergeist, these Chinese ghosts are still supernatural inspite of their purposeful seductions. It's a magnificent marriage of the supernatural and the fantastic, seasoned with enthusiastic proportions of magic and kung fu. And it doesn't matter if it has this tendency to be a little excessive with the production. The genre borders on both the supernatural and the fantastic, so the over indulgence tends to be an advantage because it encourages the imagination. It's a trademark, really, and although uncommon for the horror fan trained in the varying Western definitions of the genre, it remains to be, at the very least, an acquired taste much like shrimp dumplings and wonton noodles.

Horror Movie Review #12: Vampire vs Vampire

Directed By: Lam Ching Ying
Release Date: 1989 (Hongkong)
Running Time: 60 minutes
Language: Chinese
Horror Type: Vampires
Sex? - None
Gore? - Same
Momel's Rating: 1/5

A village is in peril because of some bad Feng Shui, and its up to the One Brow Taoist Priest aka Mr Vampire to correct the mystic currents. In the course of the investigation, they unearth a decaying corpse with red eyes, and believe it to be the source of the bad feng shui. They ordered the corpse to be destroyed, but the ruby crest on the sword buried in its chest was too much of a temptation to some, so the burning of the corpse was delayed. It turned out that the dead body is that of a vampire, the Western, Dracula-kind of vampire, and he's in a very bad mood.

This movie pits the very familiar Chinese ghostbuster Mr Vampire against one stereotypical Western Vampire; his Tao Magic against his vampirism, his magnificent kung fu against his demonic reflexes, his flashy mysticism versus his carnal bloodlust. There's not much to say about this movie, really, except that it, in no way, aligns itself with some of the more formidable battle scenes in horror movies. There's Jason versus Freddie, Vampires versus Werewolves in Underworld, the Aliens versus the Predator, and so on. You may notice the poor production value, but you might as well ignore that since people back then probably enjoyed the props as much as we did with our present day Lord of the Rings Trilogy. They made good sense of what resources they have available in the 80's, and produced an okay-enough rendition of Eastern Mysticism against Western Vampires.

Horror Movie Review #11: Grindhouse - Deathproof

Directed By: Quentin Tarantino
Release Date: 18, 2007
Running Time: 114 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Psycho Killer Stuntman with a Car Fetish
Sex? - A whole plenty of teasing
Gore? - Roadkill, Dismemberments by Car Crash
Momel's Rating: 3/5

Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) is this, guess what, stuntman who specializes in car stunts. And the funny thing about him is that he drives around in this devilishly customized car that, were it possessed by some evil spirit, would steal Stephen King's Carrie's thunder and spit transmission fluid in its windshield. That car, at least the first one he employed in what might be the most gruesome car kill in film, can only get freakier were it in slow motion; dismemberment is more vivid and in your face in that way. And that's just the second kill scene, and that's exactly how it happened. Turns out to be the last kill scene in this Quentin Tarantino film.

Stuntman Mike prefers to kill his girls in groups, save for poor Rose McGowan who died of multiple arranged head bumps, yes, in the first kill scene in the movie. So he stalks them, suffers the ceaseless and pointless dialogue, suffers the ceaseless and pointless dialogue twice all over, and gets his way. I sort of feel for him, and I wasn't surprised with the intense morbidity with which he addressed his killing urge. With the first group of girls, at least. The second group of girls survived his stunt car and retaliated in a blur of punches. Really, and that's where it finished. Cut to ending credits.

His targets, however hot and unique and witty and what have you, talked a whole fucking mouthful, and although the witty banter's clear as day, let it be known that nobody watches horror movies for the punchlines. That's totally self-defeating right off the bat. But here's it's biggest punchline: It's got two kill scenes, around six heads in the body count, and it's a Quentin Tarantino movie.His last movie was Kill Bill in 2004, and that was a total bloodbath, and what a difference three years makes, and I'm just mentioning.

Horror Movie Review #10: The Shining

Directed By: Stanley Kubrick
Release Date: May 23, 1980
Running Time: 142 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Ghosts
Sex? - Restricted to frontal nudity on a half crazy old woman. With sores.
Gore? - One axe hack and two seconds of dismembered kids in a hall. Plus a recurring scene of blood in heavy torrents.
Momel's Rating: 2/5

"Heeeere's Johnny!"

Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) signs up to become the Overlook Hotel's winter caretaker for five months. He takes his wife Wendy and their son Danny in this, at best, chilling story of ghosts, cabin fever and telepathy, brought to life by extraordinary storyteller Stephen King.

The Overlook Hotel conceals a grisly tale of murder, as one previous winter caretaker loses his mind and proceeds to chop his wife & two daughters with an axe. He then puts the barrel of a shotgun to his mouth and promptly blows his brains out. Six year old Danny Torrance is gifted with "the shining;" he's a telepath who is highly sensitive to "traces" of evil history. His father, however, succumbs to the wicked and unearthly persuasions of the hotel's resident ghosts and, equipped with an axe, proceeds to chase after his wife and kid.

It commences with a very poor-spirited chase scene in this hedge maze where manic Jack Torrance dies of hypothermia. Frozen. I mean, what's up with that? Where's Johnny? It IS a scary concept (complete isolation in a hotel with a haunted past with a telepathic kid) backed up by Nicholson's most effective acting, but truth be told, it has the pacing of a Stephen King hardbound.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Horror Movie Review #9: The Exorcist

Directed By: William Friedkin
Release Date: December 26, 1973
Running Time: 122 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Demons
Sex? - Some masturbation with a crucifix
Gore? - None for a movie with a demon in it
Momel's Rating: 2/5

A team of archeologists unearths the Demon Pazuzu in this dig in Iraq.This evil spirit, with a snake for a penis (I just HAD to mention that, sorry) obtains a US VISA, and flies to the States where it raises hell on poor little Regan Macneil by way of bodily possession.

She learns to foulmouth very impressively, begins to speak in several tongues, grows superhuman strength, masturbates with a crucifix for a dildo, and rotates her head in a 180 degree angle. That's backwards, and, for a movie published in 1979, that's almost the ultimate in freaky. Too bad the first of these manifestations occured about an excruciating 38 minutes after, and this was where Regan interrupts a party her mother was hosting, says "You're going to die up there," and proceeds to pee on the carpet. That was a very unhygienic way to get things going, but hell, it's just about time. See, life is too short for a crawling story that moves half asleep and wakes up some 40 minutes later.

The exorcist is Father Lancaster Merrin, the same dude who evacuated a demonic edifice in some dig in IRAQ an hour and 35 minutes earlier. I counted. He is assisted by Father Damien Karras, a psychiatric counselor who was the demon's bigger target of psychological attack because of the recent death of his mother. Father Merrin died in the exorcism, and the exorcist lived a good 20 minutes total. Which is not enough coverage for a movie that runs a full two hours. Anyway, Father Karras, in a violent fit of righteous indignation, begins to physically attack the possessed Regan with a blur of punches accompanied by cries to "take him" instead. The demon complies, begins to take over Father Karras' body, and he jumps outside a windows where he meets his death on the pavement several feet down. He takes the demon with his dying, and that's basically the long and short of it.

That's more like the short of it, and here's the, well, here's the long:

1. The first manifestation occured some 38 minutes into the movie.
2. The possession intensified some fifteen minutes before the exorcism started.
3. The exorcism started 95 minutes into the movie.
4. The actual exorcism is a 19 minute song and dance, and it took place after 95 minutes of waiting.
5. Father Lancaster Merrick, the exorcist, died 113 minutes into the movie. That was 18 minutes into the whole 19 minute ritual.
6. It's a ____ minute movie which reserved a full 20 minutes for its ritual namesake.
7. Life is too short. Find time to masturbate instead. Don't watch this. Or at least don't expect much.

Horror Movie Review #8: Feast

Directed By: John Gulager
Release Date: September 22, 2006
Running Time: 92 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Monsters
Sex? - Not even breasts
Gore? - Totally
Momel's Rating: 4/5

Its one of those films where a group of strangers fortify some house while keeping zombies or vampires or monsters at bay. Remember those dudes in Dawn of the Dead and how they locked themselves up in this mall? How about "They're Coming to Get You" Barbara and her posse locked in some country house in Romero's Night of the Living Dead? That hotel in Tales From the Crypt's Demon Knight? This bed and breakfast in, well, Dead & Breakfast (I kid you not)? That cabin in 28 Weeks Later, at least in the first few scenes? That medieval fort in Army of Darkness? That walled city in Romero's Land of the Dead? It's a long list really, because it's one of the more effective, time tested, situations there is.

The feast takes place in this bar, The Bear Tavern, where this group of strangers, as singularly unique as the guys in CLUEDO, band together and lock themselves up against this family of bloodthirsty bad ass freak beasts. These killing machines are the Poor Man's Predator on account of the total cheapness, and altogether resourcefulness, that these puppets convey. Their heads are these elephantine skulls you'd usually see mounted, they have limbs akin to humans although blood stained, they're about 6 feet tall, they're mostly guttural with their squealing, and they are most definitely some of the most accomplished slashers there are. They're a taxidermists mutated nightmare equipped with a bad ass set of Ginsu Knives, and its up to our motley crew to survive these bloodthirsty freak beasts up to the morning after.

It's a bloodsoaked mess of splatter, dismemberment, gore, ocular trauma, and a little doggie style monster sex for comic relief. Feast delivers the freaky at an alarming pace, restrains the cheap fillers, and manages to remain entertaining all throughout. It's got that Tremor's feel to it, if that helps, a bit more macabre but in a fast paced environment however grimmer.

Horror Movie Review #7: 28 Weeks Later

Directed By: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Release Date: 11 May 2007
Running Time: 99 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Zombies
Sex? - NONE
Momel's Rating: 4/5

Let me just say that 28 Weeks Later is Scream Awards 2007's Horror Movie of the Year. That being said, let's see why.

This is what's happening so far, I mean, if we take it from it's very lame predecessor, 28 Days Later.

1. Five weeks later, The infected die due to starvation. It's referring to them Rage Zombies.
2. American forces then step in and spearhead a successful cleansing operation.
3. 21 weeks later, Great Britain is zombie free.

I prefer my zombies to be animated by some Italian or American director slash necromancer because they have the proper taste for morbid. This British zombie film totally pales in comparison, save for several remarkable massacres which probably pedestalized 28 Weeks Later as the Horror Movie to watch out for. At least according to Scream Awards 2007. We'll check the competition later. It does have several scenes with just about the right amount of gore in them to basically scratch anyone's itch for splatter.

1. Indiscriminate sniping and bullet pumping, with orders to shot anyone at ground level. This occurred after this massive infection which took place shortly after this mass evacuation after one guy gets the rage virus from kissing his wife.

2. The bombing of Great Britain. This probably appeals more to the crazed arsonist, and this is something you'd basically expect from a zombie movie as some sort of precaution. It's a panic button, really. There is some drama in armageddon, and this scene brings us closer to home. Let me say, in passing, that it reminds us of the plight of Raccoon City in the Resident Evil series, or of the bombings in Dawn of the Dead.

3. And there's this scene where this helicopter pilot pursues a mob of zombies with his vessel chasing the undead at a very wicked angle. He manoeuvres his helicopter blades to mangle the zombies at random in what might be the most morbidly tasteful scene in this movie. Or at least the one to look out for. And look out for flying severed limbs, too.

One of the advantages to its being a sequel is that it follows a very lame predecessor, 28 Days Later. That means there's no way but up for this attempt at redemption, and it does so with unrelenting daring. It's a very straightforward zombie movie which capitalizes much on gore, and specializes in massacre. It doesn't require that much cheap filler since the relentless intensity of this bloodbath overflows and tempers that specific unnecessity. Verily, it animates the corpse that is 28 Days Later and becomes this decayed carnival of genocidal proportions.

Totally changed my mind about it. Good show.

Horror Movie Review #6: The Three Faces of Terror

Directed By: Sergio Stivaletti
Release Date: 20 August 2004
Running Time: 85 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Trilogy
Sex? - YES
Gore? - YES
Momel's Rating: 4/5

It all starts with a train ride. A hypnotist shares a compartment with three strangers and begins to conduct an experiment in hypnotism. He takes out a golden ball, which behaves very much like Le Marchand's puzzle box in the Hellraiser series, of course without the Cenobytes, and uses an array of light rays to force a recollection of each of the other passengers' pasts. What follows next is a cleverly chilling narration of three unique stories, thanks to the hypnotist's golden ball that, in a way, mirrors Dumbledore's Pensieve by manner of function.

STORY # 1 The Ring Of The Moon: A gravedigger executes a curse as he unknowingly turns into a werewolf when he spills blood in a stolen ring. How very gay. It includes a pretty vivid "half brainer" scene to look out for.

STORY # 2 A Perfect Face: An insecure woman submits herself to a surgical operation because she wants to BECOME her childhood friend. Yes, become, and that's exactly the long and short of this Face Off rip off.

STORY # 3 The Lake Keeper: Its a very tired storyline that pits this loser against this very uncreatively puppeteered lake monster. Nothing to see here, really, except maybe for a pair of tits on small breasts.

It doesn't stop there, though, because, in an attempt to redeem a very average movie from becoming any lamer, this movie uses a life line and introduces a curious twist. You know how its like when you hosted a party that peaked even before your guests arrived? It's that much of a failure that you're having more fun cleaning up & washing the dishes because your guests are a dragging bunch of bores, save for this one hot thing who happened to tag along.

This movie is just like that party, and the twist that I'm referring to, by comparison, is when this hot thing returns with an excuse like he forgot his keys or something, and proceeds to ass fuck you well into the morning.

And that is why I gave it a 4/5.


Blog Widget by LinkWithin