I Don't Do Trick or Treat

**Not enough Halloween fun to go around that we have to borrow some other country's crap?

None of the people I knew growing up had to do trick or treat. We were so decidedly quasi-ghetto that my Halloweens were trips to the cemetery where we would make balls out of candle wax drippings. I know its primitive, and it sure as hell hurt, but it kept us entertained until it hurt some more. Then we'd whine our grown ups to take us home. We'd whine with wonderful industry if we happened to be in the cemetery on a Saturday afternoon because we can't afford to miss Noli de Castro hosting the all too creepy Magandang Gabi Bayan Halloween special.

Them 80's were a fucking good time to do Halloween. Halloween's mostly a laid back affair where we'd get high on mostly primitive shit that in no remote way resembled what other countries did on that same day. We're mostly cool with our wax balls and our scary TV shows. But we were largely original with our celebration, basic but original, and we kept to our own like what our parents did. Fast forward to twenty years later, and the whole celebration started getting different. Its not the transgendered kind of different, nor is it the receding hairline kind of different. It's more of the irrelevant kind of different because our kids are doing Trick or Treat now.

Now let me give you the reassuring claim that when I'm wrong, then I'm most definitely certainly wrong, and I think Filipino kids dressing up to do trick or treat is so wrong its borderline stupid. I admit I'm all in for the aesthetics. Cute is cute, no contest, but its the whole idea that bugs me. What kind of rice are we eating these days that gave us the idea its okay for our Filipino kids to go Trick or Treating? Are we becoming so Americanized that we have to dress up our kids for candies like what they're doing? Do we even know why we're doing it? Have we finally run out of third-world things to do on Halloween? Or for the rest of the year for that matter? Because if we are, then there's no reason why we should stop with Halloween. We might as well do Thanksgiving, and we'll do it not for any cultural significance, most definitely not for the Indians, not for shit, but for the poultry. And why shouldn't we? We're already dressing our kids up like little brown devils to ask for candy, we might as well go overtime with all this cultural social climbing and do Thanksgiving. Halloween for the candy, Thanksgiving for the turkey. But we should learn how to stuff that Andok's chicken this early on.

All in all, this trick or treating business among our kids, our Filipino kids, has got to be a singularly conceited affair that makes no sense in this third world country. Truth is, we all probably grew up in the same dark ages where our Halloweens were identified with candle wax balls and ghost stories on TV. But I never grew this unnecessary inclination to dress up my nieces or nephews as ghosts, goblins, hookers, or sperm bank tellers just for treats. I wouldn't know how to make sense of it all. Kids are terribly inquisitive little devils by default, and I know one of them will ask me WHY THE HELL am I wasting good money on cheap-ass costumes that make gay dipshits of them.

I really wouldn't know what to say to that. I'll just teach them how to make the baddest candle wax ball instead.

Picture from Chromasia.com

I Am Now A Fucking Genius

Comments like this help me get my groove back. Thank you.


Regular programming will resume shortly after I have completely shed this most uncomfortable mistress jumpsuit. It's a great bother, I tell you, and I'm just about 95% done. Meanwhile, it will be in your best interest to Never Engage in a relationship with a married guy, or girl, whichever the case maybe. If he can be unfaithful to the wife, then it follows that he can be unfaithful to you. You can not demand anything of him because you knew exactly what you got into. You got into a relationship where you will be the least of his priorities, most especially if he has a kid. This does not make you special, therefore the question Whatever Happened to Love of Self? And what else? Why it's the suddenly excessive smoking, near sleepless nights, overnight eye bags, and, oh Lord, the pimples.

Yes, the stress will fist fuck you big time. Because you were faithful to a married man. And he's somebody else's husband. Let it go.

And besides, it will be your kingdom, your horses and your men, for over the counter break out treatment. If you think you're okay-looking before getting into this kind of relationship, then wait until you get out of it. No relationship is worth you getting ugly. So give it the finger, fart in its general direction, charge it to experience, and Never try to win this loveless relationship back. Go back to the things that you love doing before he came along. That should set your shit straight.

Repost This

**I don't think the DISLIKE/ HATE /SUCK MY DICK option will happen. But I'm still waiting for a radio button that says "Does this post make sense to you?" Or at least a setting that says "Hide all posts from gullible people in your network."

I know it's a god send if it does happen, but I will keep that feature disabled anyway. I will run out of material to bash. For example...


I've seen a lot of these posts going around and muddying the already dirty waters of my FB wall. I have nothing against trash, I love to talk it, but if it's the dumb kind of trash that does nothing but to betray one's surplus of voluntary stupid, then I give it the dirty finger. You know it's not going to happen. It's always been a free service. And if some fake news gets your panties too much in a bunch that you have to comply to it's terms, then you a. Forgot that it was a free service in the first place b. Are too lazy to do Google c. Don't have enough of an offline life d. May have the mentality of somebody in a mob.

Reposts sustain themselves with the idea that if everybody else is doing it, then it must be true. Or if it was reposted enough, then it may be true. Oh please. But you find something out in the process though. Why, you have something in common with a lot of people in your network! Can you imagine that! We're all doing the same thing! I'm down with the right crowd! I'll repost this motherfucker to its death because we are the champions of this cause! We are a mob, and we operate on other people's ideas until it becomes our own! And, if its any consolation, I'm confident that Facebook is not closing my subscription now because I reposted. Take that, you cocksucker with a blog and no Facebook account in the future!

You shut your mouth.


Facebook is not going to close your account. The verified truth is there are a lot of idle minds out there who have this genius propensity to circulate the right kind of fake news. And when you think about it, this is not even remotely alarming these days. People get devilishly creative. But you go ahead and re-post it anyway because you're too scared to lose access to your online Ego Gym. Bitch, you can't be that stupid on purpose. It's more likely that You Just Are, by default, so you go ahead and repost the fake news anyway.

I will still like you even if you are gullible, though.

Amazing Numbers

**This here is an undistilled, but edited, thank you of sorts.

I've always been conscious of my stats. And what makes it ironic is that I don't blog hop as much as I used to in 2006. I no longer advertise. I no longer promote. I don't see the point because my ego's as big as my brownish rabbit-shit tits anyway.

The only endorsement that this blog has been receiving for quite some time now is through my Facebook posts, my comments on Ms Jessica Zafra's blog, and then my existing links in some of your blogs. But, just the same, I am no longer actively promoting this hole in the wall. I am satisfied with what numbers I'm getting: I am averaging 40 to 50 hits on Mondays to Wednesdays, less than 30 hits during Thursdays and Fridays, and around 70 hits on weekends. And you know what, I am happy with these averages because I read somewhere that the secret of a happy life is lowered expectations.

I don't bloghop anymore because these new blogs tire me with the enthusiasm that peaked on the first month. It has been the same trend since 2005 anyway, and I've since learned to lower my expectations.

The content's a different thing, too. The internet is running out of the Suck My Dick kind of writers that I... prefer. But then, I barely have time to go over those punks in my blog roll anyway, let alone go on a blogger treasure hunt, which is unprofitable eight times out of ten. So I keep myself here and write on a once a week basis.

I don't go out, as far as blogging goes, because I've since learned to lower my expectations.

I no longer exchange links as much as I used to because I've since learned to lower my expectations.

I've kept to what numbers I'm getting because I've since learned to lower my expectations.

So you can imagine my confusion when I saw these numbers last week. And bear in mind that I rigged my StatCounter in a way that it doesn't count my own visits (like to create and edit a post).




Thank you for your visits. You know what I write, and how I write, and you know how I like to be obscene, but you kept at it anyway and I don't know why. You are such a comfort to my ornamental foulmouthing! You don't know how appreciated I feel with every pageload. And your endorsements and linkages? Why they are a grateful murder to my unthanked being!

But, on a serious note, you guys are hella weird.

Muahness from Pasig Cirehhhh!

P.S. Keep at it though. We can be secret friends. Thanks again!

And on a related note, I would like to thank you, Salbe, for that link. It reflected in this illustrious surge in my hits the week before these stats took place. ABNKKThankYouPPLAAKO. And to you, Bryan Stars, for being an "avid fan." Your words, amiga, your words. And to The Punk for giving me, at last, the one thing that you spared me since I met you -- eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Poor People and Their ATMs

**Long lines give you good ideas.


1. Won't somebody please designate a special booth for people who have no clue as to which end of their ATM goes into the machine? The least they could do is to include Basic ATM Training before they introduce the principles of burger flipping or canned-good bagging or making change.

2. I know long lines are a drag, but seriously, won't you guys limit your ATM Entourage to at least two people? And mind you, this includes yourself. I understand that the thought of maxing out your ATMs only to have your 800 pesos taken at knife point's something to cry over; your unemployed friends make you feel safe. But help us people at the back by lowering our expectations. Clear up space. Help us keep track, would you?

3. Why are the sneakier looking social climbers always the ones with at least three ATM cards? And why do they keep the PINs for those cards written in some piece of paper? And why are they always maxing out their withdrawals? For all three cards? And why are... ohhh.

4. We might be sharing the same queue, but our monthly salaries are a different story. So don't look back at us with that disappointed "How come?" look in your eyes as the machine screams "Insufficient Funds" with your most recent transaction. That laughable gesture's lost its point as we, in the back, don't really care. Life moves on, like this line ought to be doing.

And besides, that sense of indignation feels soo fake.

5. Please stop displaying your brand new ATM card at us. That makes you look so cheap.

6. If the machine's an actual booth with a door, and you're next in line, be courteous enough to let the person ahead of you exit first before letting yourself in. That's common courtesy, and there's no buying that. Much like common sense, when there's only one line, and you go on ahead cramping my style with your "Is this the pila (line/queue) for the ATM ba?"

7. Yes, that machine's smarter than you, and believe it or not, you're already down to your maintaining balance. So stop asking "Are you sure???" with that second balance inquiry in a row. Yes, it's sure.