Ben

Congratulations, Ben!

First off, warm and wealthy congratulations goes out to that fantastic tech support representative Ben Tumbling. He has been doing a very good job helping people go back online for A YEAR NOW, and that significant accomplishment merits a fantastic reward of sorts.

He already has another tattoo scheduled for sometime this coming May; it's going to have roses in red, pink, and white, and it's going to stand for SAFE SEX. The horny fool reasons he "ain't born with no flower, so he's going to have to do something about it." He's thinking about a big time purchase as well. He's planning on highlighting the first of many years in one of his growing passions, i.e. his job, with either a high-end DVD player or an IPod. He's very interested in an IPod since he claims that those white earplugs give him more excuses to ignore everybody else when he feels like it. Plus, it gives him a good excuse to accesorize with something white since white belts are totally out of his bible. He's also thinking about a high-end DVD player so that he can share his morbid fascination for cult classics like Cannibal Holocaust and Faces of Death. He maintains that nothing spells "family time" quite like gross imagery involving shit eaters and a whole hell of mutilation. This princess says he doesn't mind an upper-end format player since he claims he's just soo totally rich anyway.

He's giving himself a month to think about it.

Ben also maintains an ass-kick of a blog when he's not being phenomenal at work. He claims that he has long since sworn off understating, but he's still trying. Anyway, he calls his blog Momel's Big Blahg of Bullshit, and he operates under a different name when working on it. Oh, he's also known as that gay freak Momel when he feels like swimming in his overflowing swamp of kinky self-esteem. He's going to be contributing to this blog from time to time. You'll know it's him; he's just soo full of himself.

He calls himself Ben Tumbling after one of Lito Lapid's more popular trigger-happy characters. He claims it's more American-sounding than "Kapitan Guti" or "Narsing Lacson, Batas ng Navotas." He recalls this one time when a customer asked him for his name. He said it's Ben Tumbling, to which the American customer reacts, "Ben WHAAAT?" He replied, "Tumbling, sir. Ben Tumbling. You know, like the verb. Tumbling. And there you go." He believes that, when it comes to picking your American name, it's more convenient to have an action word as a last name. He remembers one of his earlier names with the same format, but that name was shortlived due to a client request. And that name was Dick Cumming.

You ask why Lito Lapid and not Dante Varona? Ben claims that the urban poor appeal of that hampaslupang Dante Varona is just so pang-masa. He says he's having none of Varona's "jologs" in his state of cool.

He now claims to have a full stomach and money in his pocket. And a savings account to boot. The bitch has come a long way.

Congratulations, Ben Tumbling!

P.S. Ben writes like this.