You remember ba the gaway gaway people? They're this bunch of bahong tulisan in that old school (laos) na telenovela sang by Vic Sotto. No, it's not Agila, it's Valiente. They're the kalaban, and they're just so frikking ew with their unruly long hair and bad teeth, basically sobrang dripping with all this urban poor na aura you won't believe it. Remember the term ha kasi it's going to be up there in my thesaurus for the bahong urban poor with the jologs na ugaling squatter going on. Meaning you can make asa na we're going to see the same four syllables a lot since I make naman lait the frikking gaway gaway. I do that always kasi eh on account of all this rich and creamy kabadingan that I'm projecting.Anyway, brace yourselves and prepare for something na sobrang freaky. No, it's not Jobert Sucaldito noh or Eagle Riggs. Get a rosary or buntot pagi like you're waving off some bad feng shui. This is sobrang katakot kaya. This is what happens when the kadiring gaway gaway people learn the internet, get a YM ID, and do that chat thing originally meant for the hip and cool people like us. You all make kapit na. Like, now na.
cybersonique_8: hi..m2m..hanap serious relatonsip..MALE tripper ako..pm me...
greater_cynic: labo talaga ng tao
mflip_69 joined the room
greater_cynic: anghirap ng closet queen!!!
sweetdevil20004: may ilaw na (hello, like, is your PC de-bomba and running on kerosene? kagalit ha)
¦°ÅmîÇî°¦¬ºkÊ¥º: im going 2 use a potion in able u to fall in love wit me
team_suplado!!: <<
¦°ÅmîÇî°¦¬ºkÊ¥º: hehehehehehe
greater_cynic: how about a potion na pampa-galing mag-english?
Lil Chique: really? it'll not work for me blive me.. (I'm not making this imbento ha. This is sobrang for real)
anrei_17: BABY KO TAMA NA YAN
greater_cynic: wow naman sweet
anrei_17: BAKA MAPANO KAPA
syzarmangonon joined the room
greater_cynic: baby raw niya
greater_cynic: concerned!!!
greater_cynic: nag-meet na kayo?
celson_14 left the room
mr_superman_2k6 (mr_superman_2k6) joined the room
~»X-Щ«~»N¢N¢Ng«~ (c_janeako) joined the room
for_dclan left the room
lucky_pacatang left the room
anrei_17: DI PA (pero you love him na? it must be fate, right? or, ano, sobrang feeling princess princessan na naman this gaway gaway na bitch)
stay_with_joyce_03: galing tga ni manny
babyshack619: sya n nguna
dizzed28: uu gna eh
dizzed28: astig
dizzed28: lupit ng bawi nya
dizzed28: stay asl mo
pilipino_boys: tanong kulang sa u
pilipino_boys: baog kaba
nick_ace25 left the room
pilipino_boys: baklang puta
greater_cynic: yun ang malupit ang bawi
mendoza (rafil_mendoza) joined the room
greater_cynic: si dizzed. hanep sa para-paraan
[]£ê±mªkµ[]Khä±: e0w..p0h..!
greater_cynic: meron na ba???
Pa-ImPoRTanTe-Kc-Ako-Diba: ay naku buhay
[]£ê±mªkµ[]Khä±: ala naman aq makauzap hir..
lil_diet.wyao: anong nangyari sa room natin?
[]£ê±mªkµ[]Khä±: kaazar.!!!
greater_cynic: papansin ka naman
greater_cynic: kaazar
kolorbuto: wow...... ur body........ very beautyful, palmol will u married me, please!!!!
gnsabado: would u mine palmolivegirl to access plssssssssss
kolorbuto: please palmo, married with me,...... ohhhhh palmol
kolorbuto: kolorbuto mean is the greaatest of love
kolorbuto: mermaid..... may i go to ur home, please mermaid, because i love u please!!!
redta17: my cute gurls ba d2 na pwd q mging gf? yung naka-SUN lang ha.(oh diba, choosy siya, right? So we know na his answer to the question "What are you looking for in a woman?)
goodboy007_x: Dear ladies....Do u wish to show yourself on cam to me here in yahoo..we can also do C2C...I am a great lover of womankind
!!Ðág鮧¬¿yãh: ano ba wala bng gustong kumausap to me
mcsonjassi: 22/m here any grl wanna hav c2c enjoyment???
boy_nice2003: i m from USA i want personal secretary for my new business in UK so any good looking smart sexy phil girl or smart woman apply for job i m now online
Again, the term is "gaway gaway." Kk? So that, you know, when you meet a sobrang jologs na person making terno the skicap with the fake fake blings, then you know na what to call them. When you meet somebody with a sobrang ka-cheapan na bleach job on his hair along with the dugyot complexion, you know na what to call them. When you meet somebody wearing white belts on black leather shoes and no socks to match, you know na what to call them. When you see Jovit Moya, you know na what to call him aside from Baklitina, kk?
It's Baklitina kasi naman he insists na he's not bakla, pero we know naman for a fact that there is a small part of him screaming for cock. And that part of him siguro would be his, ano, his luwang na ass. He's kunyaring pulis-pulisan portion pa, and we know naman na if he's a pulis, then he would be both Tanga and Chos in one closet. Wave and say hi to Joey de Leon and Jon Santos pala!
Hay, here are some movies included in Baklitina's filmography:
Baliktaran: Si Ace at si Daisy (2001) = Shempre noh, we know na who's playing Daisy. It's not Daisy Duck noh. Patawa talaga you.
Pag Dumikit Kumakapit (1998)
Trip Kita, Type Mo Ba? (1998) = This title is so, ano, "discreetly bisexual." Like, ew talaga.
Ama... Bakit Mo Ako Pinabayaan? (1990) = Subtitle: Pero Keri Lang Dahil Walang Daot sa Aking Rampa at Booking
Related Posts:
Mel Vs Discreetly Bisexual Man Eating Paminta
Some People Aren't Meant to Go Online
Let me make bugaw this Blogrolling thing.
Blogrolling is this, you know, libre na service for the cool na cool na bloggers like me and those in my roll. What it does is that it allows you to create a link list using this easy to learn na interface.
What makes it sobrang unique is the different customizations na you can apply to it. Meaning, you can make it sobrang bakla if you want to, or just, ano, discreetly bisexual with the same pink fonts only lighter. Ew, I said discreetly bisexual. Hello double dead chicken! Wave and say hi to the gutless closet queens in their late twenties!What I like most about Blogrolling is that it actually keeps you posted about the recent updates your fellow bloggers has made within a certain time frame. Hello, customizable nga, right? Check my blogroll and see that there's actually a marker for updated blogs. That's not pure panghuhula or tsamba lang noh. That's for posers like Stargazer and Madam Auring with her hoping to be a sexy star na pangit boyfriend Archie.So what that means is you'll know which blogs to go to for the time being. That saves you time, and gives you a sense of purpose. 
Diba, spoken like a real ex telemarketer. Hay, you should have heard me trying to sell fashion sense to that baklang Jobert Sucaldito in the Buzz. Didn't work but it was my best foot forward in Havaianas.www.blogrolling.comRelated Posts:
MEL Versus the "Discreetly Bisexual, Man-Eating PAMINTA"Confessions of a TelemarketerMy Resignation Letter
1. Don't press five floors at the same time hah, it's sobrang hassle kaya to the other people who have actual offices to go to noh. You're not playing BINGO kaya in Megamall.2. If you're in a hurry to go up, don't make gigil while making pindot the UP button. Kasi naman noh, there's no point in doing that. It's like banging the keyboard or the enter key when you're sobrang poot na rin with your squatter na chatmate. In due time kaya. Duh.3. I usually cover my nose in the presence of the urban poor noh, pero if you're sobrang amoy pawis ha, just wait for the next available car and make solo na lang noh. Ew, baho.4. Don't fart when you're siksikan na with the urban masa. Nobody's going to make amin kaya. And what makes it more pangit is when everybody starts rolling their eyeballs and makes that sobrang yucked-out na face feeling nila di sila umuutot like me.5. Don't make kuwento in palengkera mode about your recent problems in life ha. Nobody cares kaya about your deepwell na tubig noh. For real.6. There was this one time ha, I was alone in the elevator with my Amigang Joyce and this other old lady na mukhang led lights on a DSL modem. Kasi naman noh, everything on her's green kaya, from her tattooed eyebrows to her earrings to her shocking vomit green blazer. Wala lang, share ko lang. 7. Don't be feeling maganda when somebody smiles at you noh. Like what I do with Princess Baldo, we wave and say hi to the poor people din.8. Always let the people go out of the car first. Don't be ugaling bollocks naman when you're in a hurry to get in. Let naman the other people get out first before you get in. Hello, it's common courtesy kaya.
I swear to God talaga.My friend the Gay Queen is so freaking libog talaga sometimes huh. He's oftentimes making yabang to his bakla friends that he just got laid this one time or that and so on and so forth. To hell with that horny bitch kaya. Kasi naman eh, his amiga, Princess Baldo is always making hawa the libog to him, eh they're always in character pa naman all the time. I mean, you know, being the down to earth sobrang yaman people that they are, they tend to speak like me rin. Pero unlike me huh, they're sobrang kati noh! Like what Momel says when he's making "Pasok, Tulfo," they're like mga higad na made kain in the leaf ng gabi which was cooked to make laing. That's how kati he is. Exag noh? Pero it's okay since they're both upper end rin naman eh like me. It's okay to be malibog and manyakis na bakla naman kasi diba it's not rape naman if you're paying for it. So bayot talaga the katwiran, right? So they have all that money like me, pero noh, they're sobrang libog kaya. And landi rin at the same time noh.
They're like Paris and Nicole talaga sometimes, pero shempre noh, like, feeling lang nila yun noh kasi they're both bakla. As in sobrang faggot na faggot kaya sila. And Princess Baldo has certain angles where she looks like a kabayo and her armpits are, you know, pang-Arabiana type kasi it's mabuhok. For real! Pero the Gay Queen finds Princess Baldo so freaking hilarious naman so she's cool. And she's also fashionista rin, like dapat lang, and she manages to fake her balakang by making siksik yung potholder nila sa jeans niya. Pero it's sometimes kaka-duda huh when she claims that she's a size-4 sa Celine pero she's 5'9 and 160 lbs noh. Kaka-crazy, right?
Anyway ha, I need to talk to that Gay Queen soon. As if that's possible naman noh, kasi that luka-lukang autistic Momel makes us up lang naman. For real. He's making pauso a multiple-personality disorder in his Blahg of Bullshit. So I was like, hello? The things people do talaga to make papansin noh? Whatever.
Anyway ulit ha, I'm sure the Gay Queens's going to read this blog soon, so let me write it here na lang for Her Poser Highness' sake ha. Naku hah, you better monitor your sexual activity kasi it's been so "alarmingly intense these past few days." Oh diba, "alarmingly intense" raw oh! That's Momel making singit and "Pasok, Tulfo." Anyway, yeah, like you've been so active lately ha, di na ata nakapagtataka if the next time you vomit eh may lumabas na titi.
Shucks, I'm sobrang gross talaga sometimes.
That's also me doing public service na rin. Safe sex, okay? It's like me making sisi na rin for not making paalala towards my ex-amiga Kris Aquino. Look at her now with her dripping STD, right? So there you go. Wear a condom and don't make pansin that jologs song by the bakla group Air Supply huh. What's that ba ulit? Making Love With Nothing At All? I don't make birit that song kasi eh, so I'm just making my best hula. You know naman na I still manage to care pa rin if I'm not busy making bilang my maraming pera or if I'm not making tambay in I-bank.
**This will be the first of many. By the way, Ben Tumbling is a character I recently introduced in one of my posts. He's been very maldita ever since.
I've had it na talaga with some loser na posers ha with their trying hard na social climbing! Kainis ha, like there was this time na I was blog hopping, and I saw this one blog na talagang nakaka-galit the english ha. Kasi naman eh, a lot of super cool people like me are doing the blog thing talaga. So shempre, the feeling cool na social climbers taking up Refrigeration Engineering sa yucky na Capellan Institute of Technology also register sa Blogger and try to keep up with the Joneses like me. Hay naku. Yeah, I before I forget ha, Momel says that he's going to include a blog roll or a link list of the astig na people na reading this blog. He'll be updating soon to celebrate his 3000th hit.
Drama queen. Enough with him nga muna kasi like what Princess Baldo told me one time na he's having his kadiring ingrowns pulled, "Moment ko ito noh."
Pero like Momel used to say, there are no real rules to blogging naman eh. Okay fine, bitch. That Momel talaga with his laos na fountain of wisdom is sometimes kaka-inis rin. Sobrang feeling naman niya na he's like the Voice of Reason or some stupid shit like that. And he has to make "Pasok, Tulfo" pa always.
Hmph. But that doesn't stop me from making lait this one blog shempre. For instance:
Duh, since when pa is siomai Japanese huh? Kakagalit, right? Kasi naman gurl, you have to mention pa na it's Japanese eh. To quote Kris Aquino, you have dalawang ekis na tuloy.
OMG, you're sobrang feeling conio like me talaga. I had a hard time talaga pronouncing Rs before kasi naman my ortho made me wear fucking bwaces. In between vowels daw oh. Ouchie! Like, away ko.
Alam mo gurl, you have to make aral how to pwoperly use the tandang panggulat noh. I mean, the exclamation point pala. There you go, you make balik-aral na lang your punctuation marks noh. Watch na lang Sine-skwela (or something) sa local channels kasi I'm sure your jumper cables for SkyCable will be reported by your inggiterang neighbor. Watch na lang the sobrang laos na Kuya Bodjie in Sine-skwela (or something). That's what next. OMG, parang feeling ko I need to take Calci-block na talaga.
My stwess level and my blood pwessures kakagulat na talaga huh! This calls for banig banig na Calci block na. As in, for real! Pero in fairness naman huh, she's really trying to blog naman eh. So there's an A for effort na lang to our celebrated social climber of the week.
I'm so salbahe talaga sometimes. Kasi naman noh, it's nakakatamad na sometimes making tambay lang in ATM machines just to make sure na those third world ATMs dispense and display my nakakalulang complete balance. Tapos when I'm bored na looking at my maraming pera, I try to do something naman na productive. Like work on this blog. Pero that's occasional lang naman kasi Momel channels me only when he's not trying to out-cool me with his matalinghagang bullshit noh. Honestly huh, he's so Kristy Fermin sometimes with his metaphors. And you know naman na nothing spells "luka-lukang jologs" like that trying hard paparazzi Kristy Fermin.
I sometimes wonder talaga why or how we're bound in the same body, that Momel and myself. Kasi nga diba, add all my cool to his anti-social autism, and it's going to be like, sobrang nuclear na reaction. And then that cocksucking Gay Queen has to make singit pa sometimes with her sobrang libog na manunupang "I'm-all-that" attitude.
Buti na lang noh, we're not like someone I know na who's both Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in one body. Kasi nga diba, Dumb and Dumber siya. So I guess I'm cool na rin with this situation. And siguro I won't be doing another fault-finding session muna kasi naman this blog is so not perfect anyway. As in. I'm going to make that ulit ha, this blog is so not perfect. I mean, Momel now claims na he's trying out three personalities or styles in his writing. Duh, what's the point of using different styles eh this is not Kung Fu naman diba? It's just a freaking blog okay, so let's just have fun na lang. For the meantime, I'll make tambay na lang sa I-bank.
Congratulations, Ben!First off, warm and wealthy congratulations goes out to that fantastic tech support representative Ben Tumbling. He has been doing a very good job helping people go back online for A YEAR NOW, and that significant accomplishment merits a fantastic reward of sorts.He already has another tattoo scheduled for sometime this coming May; it's going to have roses in red, pink, and white, and it's going to stand for SAFE SEX. The horny fool reasons he "ain't born with no flower, so he's going to have to do something about it." He's thinking about a big time purchase as well. He's planning on highlighting the first of many years in one of his growing passions, i.e. his job, with either a high-end DVD player or an IPod. He's very interested in an IPod since he claims that those white earplugs give him more excuses to ignore everybody else when he feels like it. Plus, it gives him a good excuse to accesorize with something white since white belts are totally out of his bible. He's also thinking about a high-end DVD player so that he can share his morbid fascination for cult classics like Cannibal Holocaust and Faces of Death. He maintains that nothing spells "family time" quite like gross imagery involving shit eaters and a whole hell of mutilation. This princess says he doesn't mind an upper-end format player since he claims he's just soo totally rich anyway.He's giving himself a month to think about it.Ben also maintains an ass-kick of a blog when he's not being phenomenal at work. He claims that he has long since sworn off understating, but he's still trying. Anyway, he calls his blog Momel's Big Blahg of Bullshit, and he operates under a different name when working on it. Oh, he's also known as that gay freak Momel when he feels like swimming in his overflowing swamp of kinky self-esteem. He's going to be contributing to this blog from time to time. You'll know it's him; he's just soo full of himself.
He calls himself Ben Tumbling after one of Lito Lapid's more popular trigger-happy characters. He claims it's more American-sounding than "Kapitan Guti" or "Narsing Lacson, Batas ng Navotas." He recalls this one time when a customer asked him for his name. He said it's Ben Tumbling, to which the American customer reacts, "Ben WHAAAT?" He replied, "Tumbling, sir. Ben Tumbling. You know, like the verb. Tumbling. And there you go." He believes that, when it comes to picking your American name, it's more convenient to have an action word as a last name. He remembers one of his earlier names with the same format, but that name was shortlived due to a client request. And that name was Dick Cumming.
You ask why Lito Lapid and not Dante Varona? Ben claims that the urban poor appeal of that hampaslupang Dante Varona is just so pang-masa. He says he's having none of Varona's "jologs" in his state of cool.
He now claims to have a full stomach and money in his pocket. And a savings account to boot. The bitch has come a long way.
Congratulations, Ben Tumbling!
P.S. Ben writes like this.
**This will be the first time that I'm writing something with a different taste to it. I mean, feel free to check my previous writings and verify that I'm totally not like this at all. Pero I still like this style ha.
Kaka-inis that bitch ha. I was like, making pila for my Marlboro Lights there in Ministop, right? And I was like, sobrang behaved and totally composed pa kasi the morning people are making pasok na for their shifts, diba? Kakahiya naman to make a dugyut impression noh, I'm working for a popular company pa naman. I was next na eh, and all of a sudden, this gagang bitch sobrang made basag my cool talaga! Like, I was next na noh, and then she sooo made singit like she was artistahin. The nerve ha! Hello, pangit niya kaya, and her clothes look like she made them sungkit pa from her squatter neighbor's sampayan pa. Kakagalit, right? She was just buying a cheap-ass Panda ballpen lang naman noh. What makes it so kaka-inis, like nakaka-nose bleed na galit, was that she was buying that with a slang. Kapal! She was like, "Manong, doo yoo hab a BAHL-pen?"Yuck, feeling niya talaga. I'm not making buhat my sariling bangko noh kasi it's also my bread and butter na rin, but hello! Reality check lang "Miss Trying Hard" ha, kasi nga diba you're just buying a fucking ka-cheapan na ballpen noh. Yeah, I know na you're just trying to make practice your sobrang basurang fake accent diba, pero hello! Do that with your jologs friends na lang, not when you're making singit just to buy a mumurahing ballpen noh. Duh!
I can't believe na there are sobrang OA na third world squatters who are working in the same building as I am. Alam niyo ha, I'm also working in the same field as that baho girl noh, pero what makes us sobrang astig is that we're on the upper echelon kasi eh. I'm, like, I dunno, a DVD player? And that wannabe is, like, Betamax or something. Like, hello! Sana lang noh, next time, try to practice social etiquette as much as your fake accent kasi it's going to be, you know, more important in the long run talaga. Kaka-inis kasi when some people are sobrang feeling taas ng ihi na once they start doing American Accent training.
Kasi nga diba, these same jologs people are the same losers giving the rest of us agents a bad name. Like, that cashier in mini-stop siguro is already making irap na to the next call center agent na he's making sukli to. Kasi naman the sobrang bahong impression that Ms Trying Hard just gave.
They're sooo making us panghi talaga. Like, ew.
