Friday, October 27, 2006

Updating the Hate List

36. FX drivers who make a "quick stop" to the gasoline station en route to your destination. No, they don't mind at all if the five minutes it takes for the refill was all you need to get to work on time.

37. Call center agents who go overboard with their obviously fake American accents. That and the "borrowed" lifestyle that goes with it.

38. The news. Seriously, the news. There's just nothing good about it. The only good news can only come from my physician. Or Mon Tulfo.

39. Them people who say that they "don't care what other people think." Yeah, right. If what other people think don't matter to you as you claim they don't, then why do you have to let them know? Why do you feel like you need to write that down? Why do you have to broadcast your disinterest and lack of concern? There goes the foul smell of irony in your general direction.

Talk about self-defeating.

40. You can tell #39 got to me a little. But not as much as the government gets to me. I try to ignore it by not exercising my right to vote proactively since I think that's not enough grounds to get me imprisoned. Unless they, being the overly hateful posers they are, waste productive time in getting us in the same eight by six room with those flying voters.

41. Old people who gossip their way to notoriety. They do it like it was the complete summary of everything they learned in their prime. They make me wonder: Whatever happened to the wisdom in old age?

42. I mentioned this before, but let me say it again: low self esteem. Really. There is always something to be proud of. Unless we're referring to this new recording artist and all that shamelessness.

43. Ha haa, I reserve the right to be completely self defeating in this hate post. So let me laugh. I mean, have you heard Gabby Eigenmann sing? That in itself would be perfect for #42, but then, I'll have to make way for his acute lack of judgment. I'm going with the lesser evil. I'm going with his singing.

44. The materialism in Christmas. Call me a hypocrite; I do like expensive Christmas gifts, festive Christmas dinners, and going to Christmas parties with new threads on. But what makes it hateful is these things make Christmas more of a privilege than anything else.

How do you participate in this season of giving when you have nothing to give?

Minus the appeal to sympathy and all that weak shit, what I'm really trying to say is that it sucks to be broke on Christmas.

45. That being said, let's all brace ourselves for that hellraising havoc due in eight weeks: last minute shopping. It's more character building, or defeating, or revealing to be more specific as compared to sports. And it's just as sweaty.

Click here for The Hate List (1-35)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

How'djoo Like My Un-Horny Template?

Vitamin Enriched!

But seriously, how do you guys like the new look? I mean, the old one was this hell of pop ups, and I figured it's about time for a little change.

You'll never see Aga Muhlach endorse this much orange though. But hey, it's still the same down to earth bullshitting that inspired tankfuls upon tankfuls of retch. With or without the flies.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Shaider Post

It's either I have too much time, or I just can't let go of another favorite childhood memory.

1. There was this episode where Annie was shot with her yellow panties in a mid air leap. That one little episode would arguably be the most remarkable for it shaped a lot of young horny bastards barely out of their foreskins.

2. Does anyone remember the Shigi-Shigi Strange Song? It's this disturbing theme music cued whenever Fuuma Lei-Ar weaves his evil in Tokyo. That's the same song we hear when he breeds yet another beast for Shaider to play with. It's strange, it haunts, and it is still recognized more than a decade since it first aired. As a matter of fact, I have this friend who have it as a ring tone in his mobile phone. I have it in Limewire.

Click here for the lyrics. Yeah, lyrics. You probably memorized the Voltes V theme anyway.

3. Lei-Ar has two memorable however overly made-up minions, Poe the God Officer(or Iga or Yda or Ida in the Philippine dub version) and Commander Hessler (or Drigo in the Philippine dub version). These two loved headdresses like it's nobody else's businesses. She had this oval-ish disco ball with horns sticking out both sides; his was urn shaped, had red streaks for drama, and had a square opening for his face. And did you know that Yda (or Iga or whatshisname) was really Fuuma Lei-Ar's transvestite grandson? Yeah. That's right, trans-ves-tite. Grand-son. How did I know? Internet.

4. Here's how our favorite hero usually goes for the kill. Shaider finds Ugly Strange Beast after twenty minutes of investigation in a thirty minute program. Ugly Strange Beast escapes into the Time Space Warp which exponentially increases it's evil powers by a freaking mile. Shaider pursues Ugly Strange Beast in said dimension where Ugly Strange Beast opens up a can of whoop-ass on said super-promoted Space Sheriff slash Metal Hero.

He suddenly gets equipped with the insanest arsenal of Ugly-Strange-Beast-Ass'-Kicking Gear. This includes the Blue Hawk, the jet thingy, and that drilling tank something something. And who can forget Babylos? This was their giant spaceship headquarters which turns into a monster-blasting weapon of evil-hating justice. Yeah, Shaider's projected blue image holding the Babylos in gun form was just pure wicked.

5. Shaider was Alexis in IBC Channel 13, and he was super-promoted from Archaeologist into Space Sheriff slash Metal Hero. Annie just can't be his girlfriend; she's just too baduy in those yellow, I dunno, chalecos?

He, on the other hand, looks just too delectable in those tight white pants.

6. Tokyo's almost always abandoned when Fuuma decides to go wickedly cruel on Sunday afternoons, just thirty minutes after Bioman. Yeah, we'll miss the original Yellow Four, but not as much as Hiroshi Tsuburaya.

Kamakaila'y nalungkot ako sa natanggap kong nagbabalitang patay na raw si Shaider. nalaman kong noong Hulyo 24, 2001 pa pala pumanaw sa edad na 37 dahil sa kanser sa atay si Hiroshi Tsuburaya, ang artistang Hapon na gumanap na Shaider."


Shaider's dead.

This post is my warm recollection of that Space Sheriff slash Metal Hero.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Blog Soup #6: Tattoos, Ebonics, and Making Expandable Posts in Blogger

I sooo missed doing the soup thing, so I managed to take some time off ALL THAT penetration, collected my thoughts and all those emptied lotion canisters, and cooked up Soup # 6. Clicking on that link just takes you back to this same post, so you might as well forget about clicking that link altogether.

Lexan mentioned before that "pag nagkaka-bf eh tinatamad ng mag-update." Let me apologize for the growing inactivity these past few weeks, but I confess to having a lot in my hands. And then something else in my ass, but that's a different thing.

And yes, we're still together.

One of the most overlooked things about tattooed men or women is the obvious fact that we can keep a commitment. It may not always be as permanent as the skin art, but we try to maintain it for as long as our best efforts allow us. This probably explains why, inspite of the tequila bottles breaking, the uncharacteristic crying, and the family getting in the way, we're going on ahead and getting the first four months behind us.

See, a commitment's well on it's way already.

Here's me quoting myself (and yet another wonderful display of narcissism slash masochism): "The pain I can't give to others I give to myself. And it's going to be a beautiful work of art." I did it the first time out of curiosity, and maybe because of this echoing passion to express myself. Seriously, I'm not pulling your panties; expressionism is so right on the butt.
The foreign sensation of the needle was not something you'd prefer on your skin. And yet it became an acquired addiction. So much so that it was soon followed by three other sessions within the span of ten months.

And here's my favorite new phrase courtesy of
Urban Dictionary


"Fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother."

Or just For Sure. Being my new favorite phrase and all, you guys might encounter this catchy little ebonic phrase from time to time in this here blahg of bull. It rolls! Fo Shizzle!

If you happen to enjoy porn and limewire at the same time, here's a little something you might find interesting:
The Tall Israeli Monologue.

And yes, here's how I make
expandable posts. Thanks to No Fancy Name for helping a million bloggers masturbate their HTML skills. You rock! And yeah, for future reference, I've linked him up in my Tools Roll, just below my Blog Roll. Feel free to call it public service.

Speaking of which, I've updated my rolls in the sidebar to include three new categories: Momel's Tools, DSL Tools, and my Blogging Tools. Momel's Tools refer to those websites that I usually open when I'm equipped with high speed. DSL Tools is something I need to look up from time to time, being the so efficiently tech savvy gay sonofa that I always am. And yes, Blogging Tools, created for convenience. It's like having my bookmarks on my blog.

You don't have to say it, but I know you're so admiring my clever.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Super Excitedly Early Christmas Post # 1: Which Christmas Song Best Brings Home the Bacon? Or Ham? Or Bibingka?

I've been burning discs like a fool on a mission since we had the broadband loving going on at home. What used to take 20 minutes to download on a better day on dial up now takes about less than two minutes on broadband. I'm telling you, 2006 has never looked this promising in any given third world country. Yeah, I'm saying that during the last quarter of the year. That's done on purpose, but that's not the point.

And it is in the holidays-specific spirit of music PLUS our current insane download rate that I'm preparing my Christmas playlist. In October. What can I say, I was raised to embrace the spirit this early on. And in this country where Christmas starts as early as November and ends somewhere during the first week of January, I don't think you can blame me for being this excited. I don't think YOU can blame yourself either. And, being blessed with the current download rate and all, I went on my happy sleighbell ringing self and launched the download button.

So here's a sort of compilation of the songs I have queued in Limewire. Feel free to take suggestions as you please, but I would love it if you guys can vote for at least three of the better Christmas songs which, as the title implies, sets the mood this early on. I'd love to create the most rocking-est Christmas Playlist as early as November.

All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
White Christmas - Bing Crosby
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire) - Nat King
Cole Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid
Jingle Bell Rock - Bobby Helms
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee
I'll Be Home For Christmas - Bing Crosby
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - Jackson 5
Mary's Boy Child - Matt Monro
Winter Wonderland - Peggy Lee
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Mel & Kim
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Jane McDonald
O Come All Ye Faithful -Stacie Orrico
Jingle Bells -Les Paul & Mary Ford
Do You Hear What I Hear -The Cliff Adams Singers
Joy To The World -The Choir Of St Paul's Cathedral
Hark The Herald Angels Sing -Harry Secombe

Yes, that's Limewire and not Itunes. See, it's okay to not have an IPod yet to hear these songs. You don't need an IPod to hear these songs. It's the Christmas spirit that matters. And, being increasingly materialistic these past few years, the Christmas spirit tells you to go on ahead and burn your thirteenth month pay on an IPod.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Thank You Goes a Long Way!

Sometimes, a picture says it better.
Thanks guys for making my first ten thousand hits possible. I'm still thinking of what to write to

a. commemorate
b. celebrate
c. immortalize
d. remember

(insert answer) the first 9,999 hits and what, or who, made them happen.

Of course, I'm referring to you people.

And thanks Third for the screenshot. Priceless!

Related Links: (It's not my birthday, but allow my Excessively Self-Promoting Self to surface at least just today.)

You Know How to Scratch My Itch!
Updates for my First 3000 Hits!


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