More Self-Indulgence

You'll find these in the local 7-11 round the corner, and bring at least three hundred pesos with you:

1 bottle of gin bulag (Ginebra - Bilog)
1 bottle of rum (Tanduay Gold - Lapad)
1 & 1/2 liters of orange soda (Royal - 1.5)
2 liters of orange juice powder (Tang)
40 pesos worth of tube ice (7-11)

Mix the gin and the rum in a pitcher, and then add the orange juice powder. Wait for the brew to fizzle, and then transfer half of the concoction into another pitcher. Distribute equal parts of the orange soda into both pitchers until there's nothing left, and then add enough ice to overflow the mixture. Wait for another ten minutes, and then serve.

No observed hangovers or early morning headaches. If you do, I suggest half a liter of Sprite and two tablets of Biogesic. Sleep it off. But aside from that, you'll simply feel the need to spit since the rum tends to orange-coat your tongue.

Oh, since it's rum and gin, your lungs might feel like they're on fire during the first hour. And then you'll feel them shrinking two hours into the jizz. Try to smoke less by then.

If you see blood in your shit the next morning, it's not this.