Friday, May 05, 2006

Some Chatters Aren't Meant to Go Online

I've added bash.org to my favorites list. It is basically this website which transcribes a lot of funny quotes they've encountered in IRC. They also accept submissions for funny quotes, working much like America's Funniest Home Videos in this manner. Anyway, a basher is someone who gets his kicks from making fun of chatters, and he's usually the same prick who gets the most LOL comments pointed at him. Laugh Out Loud.

I used to be a basher myself, and I've been chatting on and off since I learned how to seven years ago. Don't count. I'm a late bloomer, tech-wise, but look at how I've grown! I'm doing HTML magic on my blog. And I also do tech support for a living, but enough with the macho posturing since that's not the point. Bash.org is basically caucasian, and trying to create a local version might have it's moments, but don't keep your fingers crossed. There are moments of rare inspiration when you get to speak with a real wit online, but chances are, you're left with the (insert drumroll.wav file) online "masa" to chat with.

Yup, the online "masa," who can effortlessly make their "ugaling squatter" surface through a DSL connection which they're paying 25 to 30 bucks for an hour. The online "masa," whose just as "jologs" offline as they are online. The online "masa" whose thoroughly prepared to use the internet to create a alternative life for themselves, a life they can only dream of offline. These are the same losers who weave fantastic tales of their offline pursuits in order to beef up their online "pogi points," or "ganda points" for that matter. These are the same losers who have more online friends than they do offline. And, should you happen to pass by any of the local chatrooms, you'll have no choice but to hold it in. You will be surrounded by them.

It's a tad boring talking with the local "masa" since you eventually get to point out that they are online simply to
a) chance upon a prostitute who will give them blowjobs
b) chance upon a prostitute who will give them free blowjobs
c) get a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a "discreetly bisexual" partner. "Ew," like Ben refers to it.
d) jerk off to camwhores who do "shows" for the affordable price of a call card. (These guys get their kicks from watching other people strip online. Which makes us wonder, will they ever score offline?)
e) get bored. or get laid. whichever one comes first.
f) It's a tad boring talking with the local "masa" online since you eventually get to point out that they are online simply to make it obvious that they're cutting spelling and grammar classes just to be able to chat. Cross everything from a to e. Now, shake your head in disbelief. There you go. Good boy.

Try getting them to talk about anything interesting, and you'll be at it for the next few hours or so. I once went to this Yahoo chatroom, introduced myself to the online "masa," and threw a simple question, "What can be the most annoying thing these days." Simple, huh? If any of them was actually paying enough attention, then we'd have a conversation going on. Which would be great since that's what chatting is all about, right? But the problem was that the online "masa" was in great need of a virtual blowjob to take notice.

What I got in return was sexual solicitations, personal ads, and invitations to get my freak on with my webcam. So I switched chat rooms, did the same routine, and got the same response. The fourth room was no different from the third, which varied only with the qualities of perversion that the third room offerred. It had this amateur photographer who's looking for female models willing to pose for him for P1500 for four hours.

4 comments:

  1. asl?

    bulacan anyone?

    cavite anyone?

    SEB anyone? (Sex eye ball)

    no pix, no chat!!!

    cam to cam only!

    hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  2. so THAT'S what SEB means.

    learn something new everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i checked out bash.org. hahaha. it's a funny site. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. And there's also this site for tech support funnies, pero it might be something na not everybody will appreciate. Pero again, bash.org rocks, and thanks guys for the comments!

    ReplyDelete

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