**Seriously, this was my golden ticket. And this was what they signed on my way out. Of course, feel free to peruse of what I wrote here if you're in need of a good excuse.
January 29, 2005
To whom it may concern,
I would like to tender my resignation effective immediately. Why?
I'm not having fun with what I'm doing anymore.
This has been the case since November of last year, but I still tried to give your company the input that it required of its sales agents. I expected a surge of strength following my prolonged vacation last December, but I became increasingly alarming with my disappointing performance. This is not me, and however I tried to do perk myself or to go around the situation, everything I did was in vain. It didn't change one bit. I'm seriously not having fun anymore.
Please don't get me wrong. When I said that I'm not having fun "with what I'm doing" anymore, that does not mean that I don't like the campaign that I'm assigned to. I have been updating business listings and signing people up for 30-day trials for more than a year already, I can do it in my sleep. I know everything about it, and I'm very comfortable with the sales pitch. These 30-day trials are what started me off as a telemarketer, and I am very fortunate to participate in this campaign.
But for some reason, I'm increasingly unenthusiastic over the whole job description. I'm not having fun with all these telemarketing no more, and transferring to another campaign wouldn't do much good since I know that it really wouldn't change my mind. At this point, I'm just so eager to be able to get away from all these telemarketing, I'll still ask you to sign this letter anyway.
I didn't want to resign last year because I never wanted to spend the holidays jobless and penniless. And besides, I made it a point to remain for at least six months in any corporate organization which took me in. And I think it's worth mentioning that your people are great. My friends here are what kept me going as an employee of __________.
But I hope I couldn't have made it any clearer. I mean, I mentioned it twice already. And here's another shot: I'm not having fun anymore.
I would like to resign from the business organization.
Unhappy Sales Agent
**The unhappy sales agent was printed there in black and white. For real.