Saturday, May 27, 2006

Blog Soup #5: Fuck Buddies, Blog Rule #11, Strawberry Syrup, and the Good News About Blowjobs

Kids, today's soup is served with a healthy serving of bitterness.

I've always been the third party in the last few, uhm, flings I've participated in. I strongly recommend against calling them relationships because, first, fuck buddies don't exactly qualify as lovers. And second, home breaking has never been powerfully inclined to be a God fearing habit. So there.

It's been that way in these last two years. Yup, two relationships in three years. It's either I'm a very loyal lover, or I take a long time to recuperate since I bleed well and all that. I'm thinking it's more of the... nah, it's going to be a mighty bitter soup. But I'll tell you this much, my songs back then were rotating either on Stevie Wonder's Part Time Lover or Juice Newton's Angel of the Morning.

And yeah, cheating on your fuck buddy doesn't necessarily mean infidelity. It doesn't qualify as a relationship in the first place anyway.

I almost forgot to mention this in my Blog Rules, it was more like I did, but Rule #11 goes like: Never blog about your work specifics. Or at least never bitch against management in your blog. There was this guy who worked for Google. And he got fired because of his blog.

This is the story.
And this is what happened.


You don't want to lose your bread and butter over some blog, right? And then there's the story, more like a blog post, of this one Microsoft employee who took pictures of Mac computers being delivered to his office. Imagine that. You remember Britney Spears back when she was still a spokesperson for Pepsi and got fired for drinking Coke? It's the same drill. No, no, no, I said drinking Coke. Not snorting coke. That's Kate Moss. Well anyway, this Microsoft guy got fired for it.

The Microsoft Guy
Britney Spears and Coca Cola
Kate Moss and coke

And with kinky sex, yes, strawberry syrup goes a long way. Yeah, and the punchlines, oh all those punchlines you can manufacture when you've nothing on but strawberry syrup and spit. Har, I'm telling you, I don't usually kiss and tell, or make out and tell, or do the kinky and tell, but there was this one time. No, I don't feel squeamish. I feel funny, real funny as I'm recalling that one line when I cracked up something and totally ruined the freaky of that sweet moment. I'm actually grinning as I'm writing this. And I'm not going to tell. I just want to, uhm, be real kinky and put ideas in your head.

To spit, or not to spit? That is the question. Ladies and gentlemen and ball sniffers all, here's another testimonial to the things you learn everyday. They might not exactly be useful, but then again:



And then I learned the other day that it's not mighty advisable to swallow since sperm tends to stick to the throat and cause problems. Do you remember those expectorant commercials with the balled out chewing gum (phlegm) sticking to this glass container (the lungs)? Yeah, but this time, think of the gum as the, you know, the man juice and the glass container as the throat. And they're not making anything yet to dissolve that.

15 comments:

  1. Re the swallowing bit ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!
    I only suck it if man in question is straight out of the shower.That goes for all sexual interaction.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i so love this post. its so educational...

    (1) i agree with what u think with fuck buddies. they're not relationships...
    (2) re writing abt work: was this directed at me? wahehehe... scary. i am never gonna badmouth my company again...
    (3) i dun swallow and even with the news about the slimming thing, i still wont. i want to gain a few pounds not stay slim forever... wahehehe... and i am imagining that commercial about the gum and the glass container... ewww...

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahaha. i loved this particular blog soup.

    i love the logic in the fuck buddies part. yes, they cannot be strictly called relationships - thus, cheating on a fuck buddy isn't cheating as there is no relationship in the first place.

    and the advice on swallowing instead of spitting is priceless. imagine telling women that it would be a smart slimming strategy to simply swallow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. lexan here... xanfactor...

    here is only what i could cme up with...

    hope you check it out...

    try to figure out next how to link people... kaya intay lang ha...

    ReplyDelete
  5. cheating on your fuck buddy doesn't necessarily mean infidelity. It doesn't qualify as a relationship in the first place anyway.


    i totally agree!

    www.turismoboi/blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. fuck buddies- fuck 'em
    seminal fluid- swallow 'em

    period.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i should meet this ingrid fleischer. this new swallow-diet should put the 6 oclock, south beach and camote diet to shame.

    and re blogging about work, you know my ceo actually searchesb for the name of our company on google, reads the blog in which it is mentioned and makes chismis the site owner's life to his staff. one his staff members strongly advised me not to mention the comnpany in my journal.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ha haa @ janice, thanks for dropping by. Gross, yes, and I so agree with the hygiene thing.

    well, as I used to say in my old old blog, I think I'm weaving my magic @ brew.

    HAR @ rose plus, the sweat you release during sex makes you shimmer like a trophy, so it's two birds. One stone.

    ReplyDelete
  9. well hello @ lexan glad you're doing Blogger now. Your other site sooo totally rocks. It still does, and I lurve lurve the link list you had going back there. Here's to your new blog! Cheers!

    Glad you dropped by @ turismoboi. I love what you're writing in your blog, maybe we can exchange links sometime.

    HAR @ bryan, I guess there's no defeating what you just said. How are you doing na?

    Well @ carl, I think they are doing the right thing, and it still doesn't hurt to exercise caution at all times, right?

    Cheers guys! And thanks for dropping by!

    ReplyDelete
  10. no to swallow? im in big trouble...

    ReplyDelete
  11. i still say NO SWALLOWING PLEASE!

    ReplyDelete
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