I Hope My Prince Charming Blog Hops

I got this from Carl's blog.

Instructions:

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different descriptions of their perfect lover.

2. He/she needs to mention the sex/gender of their perfect lover.

3. He/she must tag 8 more people to join this game and leave a comment on their respective sites anouncing that they've been tagged.

4. If tagged a second time, there's no need to post again.

And here goes!

Gender: I want them gay males on account of straight men don't exactly enjoy THE sex as much as we do. I want the whole experience to be totally mutual and reciprocal and all that creamy goodness you don't see in an Oreo cookie. Yes, I'm a horny bitch.

And the following are eight little characteristics you will never find in one single gay male at the same time. In another gay male, I mean. You have a pen?

1. Cute, but not THAT cute. I love beauty in all it's different masturbatory appearances, but I also hate competition just the same. Defining cute and not referring to Google: as tall as or taller than I am (I'm about 5'9 at the very least, so he should be just as vertical), slim like a freaking Capri, and smiles like he just got laid.

2. Plays good pool. I'll totally stalk him if he can beat me without batting an eyelash (yes) in an hour's worth of nine ball pool. We should be able to perspire to and enjoy one thing that doesn't involve any form of penetration.

3. Has an actual sense of humor. If he can't make me laugh, then at least he should be able to laugh with me. See, I've learned that laughter makes for the best ice breaker, and that makes it easier to get on with the next item in the relationship agenda. And yeah, that also means he should be anti-climactic enough to laugh when I crack a joke in the middle of a passionate make-out session.

4. He should let me bum his cigarettes. What that means is a. he smokes b. he's generous c. he's willing to share a room in the Lung Center.

5. He should give me time to play pool and hang out with my friends. I've been causing balls to go in holes since 2000. I've been with my better friends since childhood, so he should understand the hierarchy. Or he can go suck my nuts.

6. He should like to be gross. Or at least shut his piehole and respect my inclination towards such genres. Let me rephrase that, he should like totally revolting films and media and entertainment since I'm such a total pervert. And he's going to go out with a pervert and the inner freak that goes with his gay goodness. Nope, my dictionary of revoltingly gross entertainment does not include Joross Gamboa, most of the people in ASAP, Vhong Navarro movies, and pencil cut pants. These belong to a very very different level of gross. It's the gross that makes you do the sign of the cross.

7. Educated. Or at least have the good timing and proper etiquette to point hard and laugh loud. I'm not kidding.

8. He should adore me and treat me like a god and pedestalize my enlarged, uhm, face pics on an altar racked with myrrh, frankincense and gold, and he should pray the angelus for me plus the three o clock prayer, and he should fast in my name, and quote my blog, and sing and dance in the goodness of his heart because he loves me like sliced bread. Just be loyal, for crying out loud. That's all I'm asking for. Really.

And I'm tagging the following bloggers. Brew and Tanya, Carl tagged you already, so I'm not tagging you anymore, okay? Have fun!

Tagging MALE bloggers:
1. Bryan
2. Erik
3. IE
4. Alex
5. Krislan
6. Jhed
7. Lexan
8. Rob

Tagging FEMALE bloggers:
1. Pepay
2. Rosie
3. Lojika
4. Devilicious
5. Patricia
6. Ira
7. Stellar
8. Laitera