Wednesday, September 17, 2008

All Hail Them Creeps!

**No, this is not a sponsored review. I love this site so much, I can make love to it. Twice.

This is, by far and by a mile, hell, by a far mile, hands down the funniest horror movie review site ever. I've been an avid follower of this here pot of funny since early 2000, and I've been devout ever since. And thats easily understandable; it's a barrel of laughs from end to end, review to review, and at the same time, we are treated to an unlikely wealth of information that targets a very specific audience. And that's them horror movie enthusiasts like my person.

Truth is, they, gay word alert, inspired me to do movie reviews. And I am using their format with the movie details that precede the actual review proper because that was how I was introduced to the practice. Them "seven retarded bastards from shaolin" are comedic geniuses in their own right. And can you please click on their link now because I've reached my ass kissing quota, and I'm running out of compliments.

And here's a quick list on why you should be reading Night of the Creeps (NOTC):

1. They have Hitler's Brain doing the FAQ. Seriously. From a jar.
From the confines of his sin-stained mechanical womb, Hitler's Brain has agreed to host the infamous NIGHT OF THE CREEPS' F.A.Q. Of course, this is after we threatened to push his jar off the counter and breakdance on his cerebrum... but nonetheless: he is our mind slave now.
2. They're a gnarly combination of funny and sensible:

Q: "So where in the hell are all the 'classic' horror flicks like the "NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREETs", "HALLOWEENs", Or "EVIL DEADs" on your page? I thought you retards were supposed to be authorities on horror!"

A: "Actually, we're the authorities on TV/VCR repair. Still, if we had a dollar for every time some little snot-nosed faggot sent us this same question in through our mailbox... we could go over to Piggly Wiggly, buy a fat ass box of CRUNCH 'N' MUNCH, and still have enough money left over to buy a pack of Jesus Trading Pogs at La Tienda Mexicana. A lot of people seem to think that we haven't heard of (let alone seen) such classics like Sam Raimi's excellent EVIL DEAD trilogy, BAD TASTE or DEAD ALIVE, or all of the HALLOWEEN movies just because they don't show up on our FLICK LIST. The truth is, these movies are excellent classics that have been seen by just about everyone in the horror community- including all of us. We could easily sit down and do full length reviews for every single EVIL DEAD & FRIDAY THE 13th movie in existence... but come on- if you haven't heard of these flicks by now you've either been living in Aquaman's Underwater Butt Nest for the last 10 years or need to quit your sexy job. The fact is, there are probably a thousand other sites that have full length reviews of these venerable classics, and we just don't feel that these films require monster entries on our Flick List. Instead, we feel that these films deserve special attention on our HALL OF FAME section, where an individual Creep will pay homage to a particular franchise or classic film in grand style."
3. The site's easy to navigate. Check the sidebar.

4. The reviewers have retard names like Eagle Te (depicted as a white haired kung fu master), El Santo (The Mexican Wrestling Zombie Killer), Z Man (Ape Leader who aims to submit us humans to countless horror movies, and General Zod (recruited by Z Man). They have such names and personalities to match, so that's a big plus.

5. They have a traffic rank of 22, 249 ( That is so boss. And did I mention they're funny? If I did, let say it again.


  1. Whatever happened to these guys? I used to read them all the time too, but they've more or less disappeared for years now.

  2. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Best site ever, according to Green Abobo!

  3. Anonymous11:28 AM

    We are still around...

    1. Oh Lord, are you guys still updating or something? Which url should I be bookmarking now?



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