Thursday, January 20, 2011

Are You Ready for LitWit 4.5?

Those LitWit Challenges are writing contests in Jessica Zafra's blog. Ms Zafra will ask her readers to write the story behind a certain picture, something that doesn't use adjectives, tell the story behind this song, notes to your ex, a story consisting of dialogue, the story of your life, etcetera. Winners get books, or cocktails, or a meet and greet over cocktails with free books. Entries are comments with a strict word count and are still subject to amendments, however she sees fit.

You should read the kind of entries those darling nerds throw in. The competition is just intense, to say the least, and what makes it better is that Ms Zafra takes the time to critique each entry. It's not just a contest, though. It's also free writing lessons.You, my punk reader, should submit something if writing gets you hard.

I suppose I just plagiarized myself; the preceding paragraphs were taken from my Winning the LitWit Challenges Page, but I authored everything in this dump anyway. I reckon there's nothing wrong with that. Anyway, I once asked Ms Jessica Zafra if I can endorse her LitWit Challenges in this here blahg of bull, and she said yes. You can read about that meet up here, but for now, I have some unsolicited promotion to do. And
this explains why I've been posting my failed LitWit submissions recently.

Meanwhile, I have prepared this other post that was designed to masturbate your egos. Yes, I'm referring to you, my darling punk, in my blogroll. You ain't there for show. I have prepared this post that enumerates the writing strengths of that exceptional population in my blog roll. Well, most of them anyway, but since my blog roll has been flourishing with such wonderful additions, I have proposed to postpone its publication because the research is a fucken drag.

Watch out for it though. Anyway, on to the challenge.

Any ideas yet? Yes, she accepts entries in Tagalog, but you will need to register for a username. Which you can accomplish in two minutes tops. Again, my darling punks, the deadline's on 11:59 PM Monday, January 24, 2011. I can't even begin to describe that feeling of inspection and comparison when you have that entry submitted alongside other brilliant write ups. That funny Glentot knows the feeling. He has submitted twice.

Again, my darling punk, if writing gives you a raging hard on, or makes you wet, it's a gender specific metaphor, then try to submit to the LitWit challenges. Good luck!

Here are the instructions on registering:
1. Go to
2. Click on the title of the latest LitWit Challenge. It's 4.5: Bed of Nails this time around.
3. Click on the LOGGED IN link. It is directly below the Leave a Reply line.
4. You will then be prompted to login with a Wordpress username and password. Nope, don't cry yet. There is a link that says Register. This is directly below the check box for Remember Me.
5. Follow the bouncing ball. It's tiring to enumerate the following instructions on account of they are mostly self-explanatory. And besides, hindi ka chicks. Malaki ka na.


  1. Aaaagggh pass muna ako for this one. Or not. Depende sa mood ko after lunch... Baka isipin ng mga tao dun I try too hard haha...

    Sadly, the last Litwit was not critiqued by J-Zaf... I wonder why... the entries must be too... I must stop myself here. High school was supposed to be dumb and self-centered and cruel and that's what I went for. Now I'm not sure if she even read my entry... You voted for me like a pimp for a whore. Labia!

    It didn't hurt that much because it's an old post which I removed from my blog. I just rewrote it. The original entry is much more cruel. With pictures.

    I'm excited for your entry in this challenge!!! I'm sure you're gonna go over the top again.

  2. after seeing someone reacting to what glentot wrote, I'm now having doubts of joining litwit. Not because I am afraid of criticism, just trying to avoid getting my hands durty. ahaahhaa. i

    but im not closing my doors though...hindi ako diyos para mag inarte..I'm just paving way for you momel.ahahaha..joke.I'll just wait for a subject that interest me most.and that's it. Ill put my game face on.

  3. Goodluck with this LitWit! I never liked joining contests just because I fail hard when I try to impress people. I guess I kind of like people thinking that I am a useless sonofabitch that kicks them in the nads while proving them unworthy.

    Oooh. Anyways, goodluck, really. You're comments always scream wit so you shouldn't have a hard time. And I will be waiting for your blogroll-inspired-post. :D

    Helllur Momel! :D

  4. Momel!!! How about that drink?


  5. Nyek!

    Glentot -- Sabi nga nila eh we write because we want to. Write lang ng write lang ng write! Sali ng sali! Sarap kaya! Try mo! Ahaha! Baka nga magbago mood mo, lumawa ang iyong creative juices matapos mong kumain ng isang heart attack lunch.

    I know. You guys were spared her golden feedback, and the winner was the darling of the crowd. I'm sure glad I didn't participate. I'm in it for the critique, her critique, and not for anything else. I know where you're coming from (oha), and the reason why I voted for you with such chutzpah was because your entry was, in my unsolicited estimation, closest to home. Bullies. What would our formative years be without them?

    I don't see myself participating anytime soon. Sure, I could do old write ups. But Pussy Kamagong's barrelled in this crogenic freeze. I need a lovelife to reanimate that darling sonofabitch. That or some other stroke of inspiration.

    My Kinky Diary submission was all strokes, by the way. Hand strokes.

    Bhie -- Aw hell no. That dude who reacted to Glentot's submission has such a small dick that he had to make up for it with his bad grammar and his whatever construction. And besides, I don't think that he, whoever that little cocksucker is, is a "regular poster" in those lovely forums. I suppose he registered just to fuck Glentot up.

    Ahaha, I know, I'm confident that you, Malditz, creator of that crazy Inday series, will come up with something so hilarious that will warrant either a win or remembrance or a fan. Truth is, I'm really looking forward to you guys' submissions; I'm sure it will be a riot because you two are such darling assholes. You and Glenn. Ahaha!

    Vajayjay-- Ahaha, I love how that rolls. I remember her saying that one doesn't have, or shouldn't write to impress. I am witness to that eloquent bitchfitting in your blog. You have material, and you have drive. You should try to participate sometime!

    My last post, How to Offend Christians..., was actually another blog-roll inspired write up.

    Urban Dictionary: va-jay-jay: another word for vagina, a way to say vagina without most people knowing

    Ahaha! Hel-looo Vajayjay! Forgive me, I'm a jerk. Being a gay jerk just makes it all the more severe.

    Poging Kane-- How was your trip? Oi, let's greenlight that get together. What do you have in mind? Can it be anything low key? I don't like highfalutin events myself.

    Welcome Back! I heard you might be leaving the country for good. You will still be blogging, though, right?

    Cheers Glentot, Malditz, Vajayjay, and Kane! Mabuhay Kayo! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  6. Don't worry, you were not the first one to call me Vajayjay. Nagiging nickname ko na nga yan. Ambabalahura talaga ng mga nakakasalamuha ko sa blogosphere! Hahahaha.

  7. Vajayjay -- Amen. Rest assured, though, that we all mean well. But then, we are possessed of such amazing asshole standards that meaning well is totally relative coming from me.

    Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  8. aaaaaaaay magbaback read nga ako ng bonggang bongga sa mga litwit challenges na yan at masubukan.... char! kayo nalang ni Glenn... at kung may vote vote ek ek pala yan eh, iboboto ko nalang kayo :))

    kasama na ako sa linklist mo :)... validation yan ng pagiging lehitimong blogger ko... yaiy

    goodluck on your entry Momel

    YJ from the land of ooooooooohs and aaaaaaaaahs... Sta.Mesa!


  9. YJ -- Aaaaaaaay! Oo fren, backread mo, maraming nakakatuwang entries dun. Kasi naman maraming mga maricones na participants, so medio amusing sila. Basahin mo na lang yung mga entries ko dun, andun sa Winning the LitWit Challenges na TAB/PAGE ko sa taas.

    Lehitimo ka pa dian! Tagal mo nang blogger, ngayon ka pa lang naging lehitimo. Ehhhhhhh

    Chusera ka!

    Di naman ako sasali eh, pino promote ko lang. Masaya kasi sha eh. Sarap kaya! Try mo!

    Cheers YJ! Mabuhay Ka! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  10. makikibasa na lang ako,hihihihi

    goodluck sa mga sasali=)

    muahh Khie!

  11. Powkie -- Alam mo fren, nae-excite akong isipin ang isang malishosang submission ng nag-iisang Reyna ng Kapekpekan. At ikaw yun! Oi, ano na nangyari? Sunday na ah. Ano na update sa pinag-usapan natin last time na nagpang-abot tayo sa FB? Bad news ba?

    Chika mo ha?

    Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  12. Somebody loves Ms. Zafra. lol I know myself too well. The word count alone has got me swallowing spit. ;p

  13. Anonymous5:34 PM

    that you've won four of the litwit challenges is nothing new to me, momel. yes, i knew you back then courtesy of yes, i religiously read ms zafra's blog (in spite of the ego-intimidating wednesday's when she posts pictures of buffed men who read books; i am an ectomorphic lad). but no, i don't think i have dropped by your blog way back. not until now.

    you were right in saying that the writers who've submitted entries in litwit are pretty wicked. i seem to think i'd be swallowed whole by the intense competition, which is why i often have hesitations in joining them litwit challenges. maybe i just need to trim my ego and throw hesitation by the door. that being said, i don't think i can join the recent litwit what with all my audit shit going in the way of invoking my creative writing chutzpah. pfft.

    nice meeting you, momel. the way you write says it all -- you're one wicked writer. looks like i'm the one who should be watching out for you. \m/

    p.s. i actually joined the last litwit. too bad the entries weren't critiqued.

  14. Uy oh!

    Nyl Love is too honorable a word. I'm nothing but a big fan with long legs. That being said, I know you will fare well with these sorts of competi, well, activities, Nyl. I really think your Story story was brilliant, and I doubt I will forget that anytime soon.

    Ahaha, amen to your word count comment. Try it one of these days, will you please, you magnificent writer you?

    Lio Loco-- Well, well, well, look do we have here (That's me channeling Alma Moreno). Fresh meat! (That's me channeling German Moreno)

    I am positively thrilled, honored even, to have one of your infamy in this here hole in the wall, Mr Lio Loco. I have been reading you for some time now, and I sense a particle of a kindred spirit in there somewhere. I am a fan of your corrosive nature; Pestilence has never been so eloquent!

    You read Zafra? You rock! You have submitted to her LitWit entries? I will be clearing a shelf in my dresser so I can make you a shrine. Ditto with the latest Challenge. I have nothing against the darling of the crowd, Cacs is magnificent, but it feels different without the golden critique. Empty, even.

    Thanks for dropping by, Lio Loco.

    Cheers Nyl and Lio Loco! Mabuhay Kayo! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  15. ang exciting nito.

    makasali nga. sana nga lang matapos lahat ng nakadeadline today, including ang ipangsasahod ko sa aking asawa. chos!



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