Thursday, January 13, 2011

Failing LitWit 4.2: Something Sensational

Was it Nymphomania or Satyriasis?

I was cocksucking these two boys last evening, at the same time, and they gave me the same feedback about my teeth getting in the way. Double fail. I should be less of an anal slut; my fellatio's getting rusty.

We braved that cold December evening in our skinny, skinny jeans and our ladies medium tank tops. We clearly had a mission, a predatory purpose, and our erect nipples, shaped like rabbit shit at that temperature, made sure that the message got through.

And so we picked up these four kids outside Dunkin Donuts. It was somewhere around 8 that evening. The night was young. Our bookings, younger.

We were taking our prey to my apartment when I noticed this cross dressing old faggot a few feet away from where we picked up these kids. He was giving us the finger with his good eye. Ahaha! That loser should give the blue eyeshadow a break already. At his age, he should just give everything a break and just die somewhere quiet.

His young, virgin cock was stained with feces and semen as he slowly pulled it out of my ass. My upper legs were sore; I was on my knees for about a year or so. My face was swimming in perspiration, but I felt amazing on the whole. Meanwhile, there was this faint smell of shit somewhere as I pulled up my boxer shorts and stood up to open the lights. I was half-panicking then.

It was such a shameful investigation of the sheets. I knew I had to make amends, so I told him, "Sorry I took a dump on your dick. Here's fifty pesos more. Just don't tell your friends."

That kid from yesterday was cute, but he wouldn't know what to do with his dick once I got it in me. He's never done doggie before. At least I'm sure he doesn't fuck around. Hell, the kid's fifteen.

How do I know that? One of his friends dropped by earlier today. He says he wants me to take care of him. I said no because of his shortcomings.

I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for six months now. He turned 18 last June, and I suppose he just got too old. But I'll buy him a shirt for Christmas, one of those ornery medium shirts from Bench. I may even wrap the thing, but I don't know.

So I went to Bench this afternoon. I wasn't aware that those hideous third world closet queens are holding an assembly at that outlet. Fucking shit, never mind that I now smell like their cheap-ass Penshoppe colognes. I had to get him something because I will be breaking up with him before the year ends.

It's all about shelf life, of course.

He had half a mind to get away from here and do Chrismas or something. But I have a whole mind to unwrap his pants, kneel down in between his long legs, and have me some holiday cheer myself. That third world brandy, however, did the negotiation, and he was complicit, by and by. The second bottle had as much persuasion in it as the empty one, and my throat was having a Merry Christmas halfway through the second Gran reinforcement.

Merry Christmas, 'Insan!

I suppose my only problem, if there is any to begin with, is that I don't spit. I'm an inveterate swallower, and that's that's not helping my gingivitis none. Meanwhile, there is providence in being an anal slut, a power bottom if you may, and I need to stock up on the rubber.

I'll drop by 7-11 tomorrow on my way to Intellicare. I still have three condoms left, and I reckon I'll be fresh out by morning.

End of Submitted Entry to Jessica Zafra's LitWit 4.2: Something Sensational

The challenge was to write something sensational. It doesn't need to be realistic; we can "fabricate" a life if needed. The ends justify the means, I suppose, so this is what I submitted. The entry itself was "redacted," that means "censored," and that's a shame because, as a gay jerk, I'm always pushing for shameless.

I didn't win this challenge. And I didn't win the next challenge, either. I was just writing, really, but I wasn't into it. I was loading the adverbs. I was employing my flowery adjectives in excess. I thundered and lightning-ed far too much, and I paid less attention to the details. I was writing to shine my diction, but that wasn't the point, that was never the point, and I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. And it sure as hell isn't my sperm count.

In retrospect, I wrote my better pieces when I still have a love life to reinforce my ideas. So, that means I can arrive at this following line without hesitation and the need for a prepared rebuttal:

"My writing needs a date. Furthermore, fuck the three month rule. And you know you have it bad when you're using the crumbling defeat that used to be your love life as a scapegoat."

This doesn't mean, though, that my blogging will suffer. I am Dr Jekyll with my LitWit Submissions, whereas I deform into Mr Hyde with this blog of bullshit. Notice the choice of words? I suppose we are all like that elsewhere, and that distinction is a much needed saving grace. I treat my material... differently when I'm logged in to Blogger. I use a lot of antibiotic throughout the whole blogging process. And I'm kinkier, too. Honest to God, I am.

Again, this is fiction; don't be too alarmed. To fabricate is to manufacture, which is the core of this submission. And I'm just saying. This was my whole uncensored entry, in all it's horny, predatory entirety. There is a reason why I posted this failed entry, and I'll tell you later, you darling punk!

Oh, and before I forget, I've this new tab, too! Enjoy!


  1. Haha I read it again, this time in its full glory... Ang dami kong Shock! moments hahaha... Gagu ka talaga Momel... something tells me all these stuff really happened to you, and the Litwit Challenge was just an excuse ahaha!

    J-Zaf censoring some words didn't really damage your work by the way...

    And I'm joining this week's challenge, the high school stuff.

  2. In the wake of usually inopportune situations flushing our way induced by the inconsideration of those whom we hold or used to hold in high regard, inebriation is almost always a welcomed method of counter-whirlpooling this dreaded spiral. That, and apparently in your case, deviant, kinky, uncompromising and perverted boning.


    Happy New Year, Momel!

  3. huhuhuh...ang halay ng post....naseparate talaga ang soul ko sa katawang lupa...shocked and awed at the same time..

    nadungisan ang utak kong dalisay...ahahaha..

    matry ngang suamli.

  4. Anonymous4:54 AM

    di ko pa binasa..naiihi na kasi ako!! balik ako Khie ha!

    hapi nyu nyir!!!

  5. So I published this post yesterday evening, and I was thinking the morning after that it was probably too long a post. It was a post within a post, and I found it all too tiresome. I should have published the entry, and then, in good old Glentot fashion, submitted the disclaimer at the end of the post. That would be killer!

    Glentot -- This submission was equal parts inspiration and hearsay. And I'll leave it at that. Wahaha!

    And I'm joining this week's challenge, the high school stuff.

    I have too much confidence in your work, Mr Peace. You know that.

    Red -- I got the boning part, though. Would you believe that this was all fabricated, babe? Ohh, it has been so long, now, ain't it? Yes, and a Happy New Year to you too, Red the Mod!

    Maldito -- Ahaha, ano ka ba, fiction lang yan. Kumbaga sa swardspeak eh Keme lang. Although inaamin ko na may mga parts dian na may pinaghugutang inspirasyon. Inspirasyon na maaring nanggaling sa kuwento ng mga baklang aura ng aura!

    matry ngang sumali.

    Ayann! Sige try mo, Bhie, at sa palagay ko eh magiging hit ang mga entries niyo ni Glentot. Kasi nga diba, gaya ng nabanggit ko dati, halos iisa ang style niyo sa pagsulat, pero iba iba naman ang punchlines? Bukod diyan eh inaabangan ko yung susunod na installment ng iyong Inday series!

    Powkie -- Awww, heto ka na ulit! Naku, ang mahalaga ay andito ka na, chika mo yung mga eksena mo sa Honduras ha? Nakaka-miss ka Ms Powkie!

    Cheers Glentot, Red, Malditz, and Powkie! Mabuhay kayo! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  6. Nakita ko nanaman ang mala rabbit shit na nipples! Haha. Kala ko si Maldito lang nag mamay ari nyan.

    Momel nakaka shock kang tunay. Napanganga nalang ako eh. Haha. Ayos.

  7. Nalimutan ko pala,

    Nung mabasa ko to: "Merry Christmas, 'Insan! " Napa "PUTANG INA" ako ng malakas. Haha. Nahiya ako bigla.

    Imagination mala Spongebob na may rainbow rainbow pa. Parang mas gusto kong isiping hindi ito fiction para nakakatuwa much. Hihi.

  8. Ayan, medio in-edit ko yung arrangement, pero same content. Inuna ko na yung palung palong mga eksena.

    Vajarl -- Nagkataon lang na si Maldito ang unang nakitaan ko ng tae ng rabbit na nipples, pero umamin ka Vajarl, palung palo ang transformation ni Bhie ano? Lavet! Gamitin lang ng gamitin yang phrase na yan. Simula ngayon, lahat ng utong eh parang tae na ng rabbit!

    Shock ba? Ahaha, hintayin mo yung susunod na ipo-post ko, Vajarl, swak sa ating lahat! Hindi ko alam kung tatangkilikin niyo pa ako matapos kong i-lathala yung susunod na post ko na yun!

    Nai-imagine ko na nga nung napa-mura ka eh! Ahaha, sige lang fren, kunyari hindi siya fiction. Pero kunyari lang ha?

    Cheers Vajarl! Mabuhay ka! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  9. I can't believe this lost. I think you went too far with the power bottom claim because you're so a top. :)

  10. Pat -- Soooo. Ooooo. Oooo not a top. And if you're playing detective and trying to figure out if this wasn't as fabricated as it was submitted, then keep trying. Ahaha, I kid. Look at how I just defended my practices. Oh shit, that comment was sneaky. And I fell for it. Hijo de puta, you're good.

    Cheers Pat! Mabuhay Ka! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  11. Wow. This is really "sensational". :)

    And... natawa ako sa paliwanag mo sa sidebar mo. Kung bakit ingles ka magsulat. Naiintindihan ko kung bakit kinailangan mo pang magpaliwanag. May mga iba kasi na walang magawa sa buhay kundi mag isip na feeling elitista ang ibang pinoy porke nag i-english lang. Masyado nilang damang dama ang english issue.

    I also write in English most of the time. Sa english kasi parang mas malawak, at mas marami ako napipili na salita. Aminin natin, konti na lang talaga salita sa Filipino.

    Anyway, napadaan lang po. :)

    Keep on writing!


  12. brewhuh232:23 AM

    Frend! Read the version in all its glory at tili ako ng tili hahahaha! Nawindang ang mga kets (cats) ko dito, akala napoposses na aketch :D

    Can't wait to read more of your posts and entries sa litwit :D Stay fretch!

  13. akala ko pa naman mga dear diary moments talaga ito.... at sa isip isip ko, kailangan mapasakin ang diary mo, at balang araw, ipapa-auction ko sa Kristine's... at yayaman ako ng bonggang bongga!

    and to echo Glenn's comment, malakas din ang kutob ko na nangyari mga yan! hihihihi

    "That loser should give the blue eyeshadow a break already. At his age, he should just give everything a break and just die somewhere quiet." - one of these days i'm gona deliver that line to someone straight in the face! MALDITANG MALDITA arrive ko niyan! yaiy!

  14. I'd like to thank that third world brandy, Gran Matador, for this wonderful hangover!

    Jenn -- Oh wow, look do we have here (that's me channeling Alma Moreno), fresh meat (that's me channeling German Moreno). This is getting old.

    Your blog is kindred to my persuasions. Your messages and ideas are parallel to my inspirations. I will be adding you to my roll.

    I agree with what you said, that we have more words at our employment with this borrowed language. And I give my detractors the finger with those carefully worded paragraphs in my sidebar. It was meant to be as self-explanatory as possible, and I suppose I did well.

    Bruuuu! -- Oh wow, look do we have here (that's me channeling Alma Moreno), fresh meat (that's me channeling German Moreno). This is getting old. Ahaha, but this is still fun!

    Ayan na! Andito ka na fren! Ahaha, nakaka-windang ba? Thanks! And thanks for dropping by! Keep dropping by, please! And have fun with my proud waste of internet space!

    YJ -- Ahaha, yan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko eh. Buti talaga at binaligtad ko yung sequence nung introduction at nung content. Naloka ka ba fren?

    Naku heto na, kapwa becky na ang kinutuban. Bahala na kayong mag-isip ng mga gusto niyo noh, pero wala akong aaminin. Inspired lahat yan! Ahaha!

    Cheers Jenn, Bru, and YJ! Mabuhay Kayo! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!



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