You remember ba the gaway gaway people? They're this bunch of bahong tulisan in that old school (laos) na telenovela sang by Vic Sotto. No, it's not Agila, it's Valiente. They're the kalaban, and they're just so frikking ew with their unruly long hair and bad teeth, basically sobrang dripping with all this urban poor na aura you won't believe it. Remember the term ha kasi it's going to be up there in my thesaurus for the bahong urban poor with the jologs na ugaling squatter going on. Meaning you can make asa na we're going to see the same four syllables a lot since I make naman lait the frikking gaway gaway. I do that always kasi eh on account of all this rich and creamy kabadingan that I'm projecting.Anyway, brace yourselves and prepare for something na sobrang freaky. No, it's not Jobert Sucaldito noh or Eagle Riggs. Get a rosary or buntot pagi like you're waving off some bad feng shui. This is sobrang katakot kaya. This is what happens when the kadiring gaway gaway people learn the internet, get a YM ID, and do that chat thing originally meant for the hip and cool people like us. You all make kapit na. Like, now na.
cybersonique_8: hi..m2m..hanap serious relatonsip..MALE tripper ako..pm me...
greater_cynic: labo talaga ng tao
mflip_69 joined the room
greater_cynic: anghirap ng closet queen!!!
sweetdevil20004: may ilaw na (hello, like, is your PC de-bomba and running on kerosene? kagalit ha)
¦°ÅmîÇî°¦¬ºkÊ¥º: im going 2 use a potion in able u to fall in love wit me
team_suplado!!: <<
¦°ÅmîÇî°¦¬ºkÊ¥º: hehehehehehe
greater_cynic: how about a potion na pampa-galing mag-english?
Lil Chique: really? it'll not work for me blive me.. (I'm not making this imbento ha. This is sobrang for real)
anrei_17: BABY KO TAMA NA YAN
greater_cynic: wow naman sweet
anrei_17: BAKA MAPANO KAPA
syzarmangonon joined the room
greater_cynic: baby raw niya
greater_cynic: concerned!!!
greater_cynic: nag-meet na kayo?
celson_14 left the room
mr_superman_2k6 (mr_superman_2k6) joined the room
~»X-Щ«~»N¢N¢Ng«~ (c_janeako) joined the room
for_dclan left the room
lucky_pacatang left the room
anrei_17: DI PA (pero you love him na? it must be fate, right? or, ano, sobrang feeling princess princessan na naman this gaway gaway na bitch)
stay_with_joyce_03: galing tga ni manny
babyshack619: sya n nguna
dizzed28: uu gna eh
dizzed28: astig
dizzed28: lupit ng bawi nya
dizzed28: stay asl mo
pilipino_boys: tanong kulang sa u
pilipino_boys: baog kaba
nick_ace25 left the room
pilipino_boys: baklang puta
greater_cynic: yun ang malupit ang bawi
mendoza (rafil_mendoza) joined the room
greater_cynic: si dizzed. hanep sa para-paraan
[]£ê±mªkµ[]Khä±: e0w..p0h..!
greater_cynic: meron na ba???
Pa-ImPoRTanTe-Kc-Ako-Diba: ay naku buhay
[]£ê±mªkµ[]Khä±: ala naman aq makauzap hir..
lil_diet.wyao: anong nangyari sa room natin?
[]£ê±mªkµ[]Khä±: kaazar.!!!
greater_cynic: papansin ka naman
greater_cynic: kaazar
kolorbuto: wow...... ur body........ very beautyful, palmol will u married me, please!!!!
gnsabado: would u mine palmolivegirl to access plssssssssss
kolorbuto: please palmo, married with me,...... ohhhhh palmol
kolorbuto: kolorbuto mean is the greaatest of love
kolorbuto: mermaid..... may i go to ur home, please mermaid, because i love u please!!!
redta17: my cute gurls ba d2 na pwd q mging gf? yung naka-SUN lang ha.(oh diba, choosy siya, right? So we know na his answer to the question "What are you looking for in a woman?)
goodboy007_x: Dear ladies....Do u wish to show yourself on cam to me here in yahoo..we can also do C2C...I am a great lover of womankind
!!Ðág鮧¬¿yãh: ano ba wala bng gustong kumausap to me
mcsonjassi: 22/m here any grl wanna hav c2c enjoyment???
boy_nice2003: i m from USA i want personal secretary for my new business in UK so any good looking smart sexy phil girl or smart woman apply for job i m now online
Again, the term is "gaway gaway." Kk? So that, you know, when you meet a sobrang jologs na person making terno the skicap with the fake fake blings, then you know na what to call them. When you meet somebody with a sobrang ka-cheapan na bleach job on his hair along with the dugyot complexion, you know na what to call them. When you meet somebody wearing white belts on black leather shoes and no socks to match, you know na what to call them. When you see Jovit Moya, you know na what to call him aside from Baklitina, kk?
It's Baklitina kasi naman he insists na he's not bakla, pero we know naman for a fact that there is a small part of him screaming for cock. And that part of him siguro would be his, ano, his luwang na ass. He's kunyaring pulis-pulisan portion pa, and we know naman na if he's a pulis, then he would be both Tanga and Chos in one closet. Wave and say hi to Joey de Leon and Jon Santos pala!
Hay, here are some movies included in Baklitina's filmography:
Baliktaran: Si Ace at si Daisy (2001) = Shempre noh, we know na who's playing Daisy. It's not Daisy Duck noh. Patawa talaga you.
Pag Dumikit Kumakapit (1998)
Trip Kita, Type Mo Ba? (1998) = This title is so, ano, "discreetly bisexual." Like, ew talaga.
Ama... Bakit Mo Ako Pinabayaan? (1990) = Subtitle: Pero Keri Lang Dahil Walang Daot sa Aking Rampa at Booking
Related Posts:
Mel Vs Discreetly Bisexual Man Eating Paminta
Some People Aren't Meant to Go Online
I've added bash.org to my favorites list. It is basically this website which transcribes a lot of funny quotes they've encountered in IRC. They also accept submissions for funny quotes, working much like America's Funniest Home Videos in this manner. Anyway, a basher is someone who gets his kicks from making fun of chatters, and he's usually the same prick who gets the most LOL comments pointed at him. Laugh Out Loud.I used to be a basher myself, and I've been chatting on and off since I learned how to seven years ago. Don't count. I'm a late bloomer, tech-wise, but look at how I've grown! I'm doing HTML magic on my blog. And I also do tech support for a living, but enough with the macho posturing since that's not the point. Bash.org is basically caucasian, and trying to create a local version might have it's moments, but don't keep your fingers crossed. There are moments of rare inspiration when you get to speak with a real wit online, but chances are, you're left with the (insert drumroll.wav file) online "masa" to chat with. Yup, the online "masa," who can effortlessly make their "ugaling squatter" surface through a DSL connection which they're paying 25 to 30 bucks for an hour. The online "masa," whose just as "jologs" offline as they are online. The online "masa" whose thoroughly prepared to use the internet to create a alternative life for themselves, a life they can only dream of offline. These are the same losers who weave fantastic tales of their offline pursuits in order to beef up their online "pogi points," or "ganda points" for that matter. These are the same losers who have more online friends than they do offline. And, should you happen to pass by any of the local chatrooms, you'll have no choice but to hold it in. You will be surrounded by them.
It's a tad boring talking with the local "masa" since you eventually get to point out that they are online simply to
a) chance upon a prostitute who will give them blowjobs
b) chance upon a prostitute who will give them free blowjobs
c) get a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a "discreetly bisexual" partner. "Ew," like Ben refers to it.
d) jerk off to camwhores who do "shows" for the affordable price of a call card. (These guys get their kicks from watching other people strip online. Which makes us wonder, will they ever score offline?)
e) get bored. or get laid. whichever one comes first.
f) It's a tad boring talking with the local "masa" online since you eventually get to point out that they are online simply to make it obvious that they're cutting spelling and grammar classes just to be able to chat. Cross everything from a to e. Now, shake your head in disbelief. There you go. Good boy.
Try getting them to talk about anything interesting, and you'll be at it for the next few hours or so. I once went to this Yahoo chatroom, introduced myself to the online "masa," and threw a simple question, "What can be the most annoying thing these days." Simple, huh? If any of them was actually paying enough attention, then we'd have a conversation going on. Which would be great since that's what chatting is all about, right? But the problem was that the online "masa" was in great need of a virtual blowjob to take notice.
What I got in return was sexual solicitations, personal ads, and invitations to get my freak on with my webcam. So I switched chat rooms, did the same routine, and got the same response. The fourth room was no different from the third, which varied only with the qualities of perversion that the third room offerred. It had this amateur photographer who's looking for female models willing to pose for him for P1500 for four hours.
Our cross eyed Siamese cat gave birth to rats. They were not really "rats" as rats are properly defined, but they were more like kittens who, in their unbelievable ugliness, resemble vermin more than actual Siamese kittens. They're a bag of bones in this scrawny testicular pouch with missing patches of fur scattered all over. They're whiny little brats, and they move around like they own the place. You have no idea how such high pitched squealing can register from these little deformities until you've met these ugly animals. I don't know if this will be a duckling phase significant to such beautiful breeds like the Siamese, but what I'm looking at right now inspire vomit just like Joross Gamboa. Makes you wonder how such ugly freaks could come from beautiful parents. Hmmm...
There was once this horse who died and went to that big green pasture in horse heaven. His name's Galloping Poser, and he was receiving judgment from the Guardian of the Pearly Fences. Here's what happened:Loud and Booming Voice: Galloping Poser, we have been monitoring your activities, and you have been a very very wicked horse indeed. You have an ego that's more than enough for a village, you make fun of people more educated than you are, and you associate with good looking people because you're hoping that their cool will be transferred to you in one way or another. You use people, and that's not something characteristic of a god fearing horse.Loud and Booming Voice: As punishment, you will be forced to be reborn as a human being. You will be living in the Philippines where you will be living a lifetime of bad acting. In ABS CBN.Loud and Booming Voice: You will be sweating blood in your futile attempts at success, but your efforts shall all be in vain since we will not be giving you any talents worth noticing. None at all. What you can call redemption shall surface in the form of your onscreen love interest and your backup dancers, but you shall have nothing with which to shine on your lonesome. You will be devoid and bereft of any bankable skills. You will be a handicap, and you will be nothing without your onscreen love interest and your backup dancers. Save maybe for some skills in social climbing and faking and macho posturing, you will still be leading a hopeless career in Philippine showbusiness.
Loud and Booming Voice: You will break in to the entertainment industry not because of anything that's worth counting like your features maybe or your talents. Like I mentioned, you shall be stripped bare of these luxuries at birth. You will be galloping in a race, in a contest that seeks to discover badly dressed talents that will add to ABS CBN's circus of already badly dressed talents. You will win, but don't count that as good fortune. That is but part of this grand masterplan to wreck you. We will expose your shitty horseness to the heavily criticizing public.
Loud and Booming Voice: You will retain your features as a horse in a man's body, and your name will be Joross Gamboa.
1. If you're Hair Talking and your hair has highlights, then you're Hair Talking with a fake accent. Like a call center agent.2. If you're Hair Talking and your hair has split ends, then you're stut-stuttering as you're fingers struggle to break free of your unruly hair.3. If you're Hair Talking with a balding head, then you're missing a few vowels. Or you're Hair Talking with a hare lip.4. You can Hair Talk even if you're using a different shampoo. But if you're so poor that you're washing your hair with, I dunno, a bath soap like Safeguard, then in your case, talk is cheap.5. If you're Hair Talking on a bad hair day, then you're foulmouthing.I was able to steal this picture from Ebay. Yup, you heard that right. Ebay. Apparently, it now doubles as your online sari sari store, but you'd be surprised as to how this product was advertised along with Eskinol Facial Cleanser (starts at $3.99), Salon Pas Pain Relieving Patch ($1.99), Tiger Balm White Philippines ($4.99) and Aceite Manzanilla for gas pains ($5.99). They were, and I quote, Philippines Island Treasures.
One of our island treasures, Sunsilk Shampoo (Soft Touch w/ almond oil), sells for $4.99.
You remember ba the gaway gaway people? They're this bunch of bahong tulisan in that old school (laos) na telenovela sang by Vic Sotto. No, it's not Agila, it's Valiente. They're the kalaban, and they're just so frikking ew with their unruly long hair and bad teeth, basically sobrang dripping with all this urban poor na aura you won't believe it. Remember the term ha kasi it's going to be up there in my thesaurus for the bahong urban poor with the jologs na ugaling squatter going on. Meaning you can make asa na we're going to see the same four syllables a lot since I make naman lait the frikking gaway gaway. I do that always kasi eh on account of all this rich and creamy kabadingan that I'm projecting.
