Bashing Homophobes

**Here's what I wrote as a response to this gay bashing faggot doing business in a gay thread. In a gay oriented website. On a very gay day, I take it.

You know what your problem is? You're much too concerned with what other people think.

I'm thinking that your life revolves around satisfying other people's perception of you. And that is just dull. And pointless. And totally defines a certain "lack of character" specific to gutless invertebrates like yourself. Are you telling me that you're prioritizing the satisfaction of other people as opposed to your own personal gratification. Ain't that dull?

You probably invented this term. And I wish you hell for whatever it's worth.

You're gay and you know it. How old are you anyway? Are you telling me that you're going to live under the comfort of your gay-bashing shell for the rest of your life? That sucks. You're probably going to be one of those gay guys who gets married not because they want to but because they have to. For show. And we're talking about the same gay guys who commit to their homosexuality in the long run, therefore leaving an unhappy wife and a family in disorder. We're talking about the same gay guys who feel like they've been missing out on all this cocksucking gay goodness since they were too busy bashing faggots in their youth. We're talking about you.

You hate gay people with the balls to admit to their sexuality, and yet, simultaneously, you're praying for total acceptance of the third sex here in our country? Don't you think you're wishing for too much? And why in gay hell would you want to have open-mindedness towards homosexuality? Isn't that the same luxury most gay guys are praying for with religious discipline?

Of course.

Your posts are aimless. You're jumping from one argument to another. No, scratch that, you're not jumping, you're "hopping" on account of you seem to be changing your mind in a heartbeat. You're a fickle-minded closet queen easily swayed by the next argument that everybody seems to be agreeing upon. But it makes perfect sense. You know why? Because you're much too concerned with what other people think.

You get a life, get yourself a cock to suck, and tell me you didn't enjoy it.

Remembering Obsessions

**I'm sure you guys have those little things that kept you busy at one point. Games and hobbies which made you eight years old again for at least a day or two. And then you went on ahead to graduate to better pre-occupations; you learned to masturbate. And what you have left, in the wake of your increasingly horny preoccupations, next to your growing collection of porn, is this boxful of boardgames and pretty pictures in little cards, stashed away to double as pretty dust collectors with sentimental value.

1. Magic the Gathering = This refreshes my memory as a mathematician in training. My battlefield was Lopez Canteen in UST, somewhere in P. Noval. It's got nerds and geeks and a good serving of male stink. Ahhh, what fresh hell is this?

2. Monopoly = It's a childhood memory associated with noisy scheming. Add a little bit of trash talking, some money laundering, and a whole hell of red tape, and you've got this two to three hour race to conquer Park Avenue. Honestly, that Amazing Race stint has got nothing on us.

3. Bingo = We don't bet much, but we're praying like it's the freaking lottery. Plus, it moonshines as a refresher to what pop culture we have left.

4. Console Gaming = I still remember how you get the thirty lives in Super Contra and the hundred lives in Super Mario Brothers. Last game I played was Final Fantasy 12 at home, and I'm actually thinking of tattooing the symbols in the Playstation D-Pad.

I was evolving my Pokemon Mankey into a Primeape on the GBA this last New Year's Eve. And it did on the first fifteen minutes of 2007.

5. Nope, no Barbie dolls in this gay guy's childhood.

Sing a Song of Flouride

**Oh how you wished it happened, but it might never will.

You know how it felt like, when the fx driver detours and gets his tank pumped while you're already a minute away from being late? And you go on ahead and kicked his teeth in?

You know how it felt like, when those social climbing call center trainees sashay their fake accents while trying to ask for sukli from the manong driver? And you went on ahead and kicked their teeth in?

You know how it felt like, when, just recently, somewhere in the news, a reluctant mother tries to bury her hour-old kid prematurely? And you went on ahead and kicked her teeth in?

You know how it felt like, when Mr FX Driver suddenly draws inspiration from this violent urge to drive with a deathwish? And you went on ahead and kicked his teeth in?

You know how it felt like, when, you are Edu Manzano spearheading the anti-piracy campaign for the Optical Media Board? You just kick your teeth in.

Cheers for strong and healthy teeth.

Rub Yourself the Right Way

**Ego boosting accomplishments

1. I know how it feels like to live on my own. I support myself. I feed myself. And I look up to no one else. If this doesn't spell total independence, I wouldn't know what does.

2. I know how it feels like to have championed a nine ball tournament. Twice. In a row.

3. I know how it feels like to maintain this blog.

4. I know how it feels like to emcee an event celebrated by three different call centers. That means I emerged in a sea of trying hard caucasian sounding wannabes. I used to be, back then, the best sounding faker there was.

5. I know how it feels like to live in love. And I know how it feels like to be introduced to the parent.

Beggar's Can't Be Choosers Part 3: Shit Kings of Turd Mountain

It was mentioned not so long ago that the Philippines bagged the Top Spot in this survey made to determine Asia's Most Corrupt Countries.

We made it to the top!

That means we can corrupt anything we set our minds to. Nothing can possibly get in the way of our campaign to violate public faith. We piss at procedure and shit on protocol. We out-corrupted nine other countries to revel in such infamy...

And don't act so surprised. You live here.