**I think they do. Big time. 1. Dream sequences are the third cheapest filler bested only by a. excessive banter that does nothing to the story b. gratuitous sex that does nothing to the story2. Nightmare in Elm Street is different. It's all about dream sequences, revolves around a dream killer, and that's a very perfect excuse3. Dream sequences mislead. Nothing sucks better than when a scene that supposedly kills off the dipshit main character. It then fades into a continuing scene where the same dipshit main character wakes up with a terrible fit of bad acting. And lives for some twenty minutes more. During which he makes us suffer with terrible fits of bad acting. 4. Dream sequences are usually more fun than the real thing because they make us believe, for a brief instant, that some stupid supporting actor dies in a very cleverly engineered kill sequence. But they don't, and we suffer the same unimportant bad acting for another 20 minutes only to have them die dumb. Dream sequences are the ultimate kill joy in that respect.
5. The only thing that sucks a bigger dick than dream sequences are dream sequences within dream sequences. It's all of the above multiplied by the nth power of the actual value of pi. Which is totally nonterminating suckiness if you ask me.
**You guys will so love this. You might probably have a hard on too. I know my friend did. 
TEETHDirected By: Adam MarcusRelease Date: 19 January 2007 Running Time: 94 minutesLanguage: EnglishHorror Type: Carnivore cunt with teeth.Sex? - Carnivore cunt with teeth.Gore? - Penile dismemberment.I enjoyed the cheap effectivity of this uncanny sex kitten of a horror movie. In a (nutsac) nutshell, its this hilariously horny parade of penile dismemberment that revolves around Dawn and her toothed vagina. She's about as cute as she is frigid, and yes, you read that right. Teeth. Vagina. Same anatomical package. See, Dawn's afflicted with the curse of the Vagina Dentata: it's this carnivorous monster cunt that can only be conquered by the chosen one... And it is with so much laborious effort that I'm controlling this snickering urge to laugh out loud because I am so fucking not kidding you. This is really what's happening in this movie, and this is why I liked it so much.It's not a family movie, it cannot be a family movie, and it shreds the concept of family values to very indistinguishable particles. See, this movie climaxes in this tensely incestuous scene where our heroine extracts her revenge on her clueless fuck of a punk stepbrother. And this is through the only method she's properly equipped for. Vagina Dentata. It's a curiosly capital concept which allows softporn to poorly transition into a horror film. I gave it a 4/5 for the comic relief. And all other physical "reliefs" you can think of. Momel's Rating: 4/5
**This is a long transcript. Read only if you have time. Enjoy! 
[05:00] stranger7XXX: idolo!![05:00] stranger7XXX: long time[05:02] greater_cynic: AY![05:02] greater_cynic: is that you?[05:02] greater_cynic: idol![05:02] greater_cynic: musta?[05:00] stranger7XXX: eto buhay pa rin, ano balita?[05:02] greater_cynic: hay nakoh![05:02] greater_cynic: kahapon[05:02] greater_cynic: sobra[05:00] stranger7XXX: ano kahapon?[05:02] greater_cynic: have you ever been confined in a room with somebody for almost seventeen hours?[05:02] greater_cynic: sobra[05:00] stranger7XXX: tagal naman non!!![05:02] greater_cynic: let's say it's your room naman, pero it's with your fubu[05:02] greater_cynic: harsh![05:00] stranger7XXX: buti buhay ka pa[05:02] greater_cynic: oo, nakakabuhay yung roleplaying[05:00] stranger7XXX: surgeon & patient ba? [05:02] greater_cynic: nope![05:02] greater_cynic: director and character-actor[05:02] greater_cynic: tapos naka-21 takes kami sa isang kissing scene [05:00] stranger7XXX: uy type yan[05:02] greater_cynic: HA HAAAA, sobra[05:00] stranger7XXX: eh di namaga mga nguso nyo[05:02] greater_cynic: di naman[05:02] greater_cynic: okay lang, soft lips[05:00] stranger7XXX: ah ok[05:02] greater_cynic: pero alam mo, it was one of those things na you NEED to make kuwento[05:02] greater_cynic: yun bang kuwentong kuwento ka na after the event[05:02] greater_cynic: pero it's not kiss and telling naman diba?[05:00] stranger7XXX: who cares, basta masayang ikwento eh[05:02] greater_cynic: sabagay[05:02] greater_cynic: oo nga![05:00] stranger7XXX: naku, may kwento ako sayo, super crazy studd[05:00] stranger7XXX: stuff*[05:02] greater_cynic: pano?[05:02] greater_cynic: gaano ka-crazy itu?[05:00] stranger7XXX: probably in my top 3 stories to tell to everyone[05:02] greater_cynic: hala![05:02] greater_cynic: type na![05:00] stranger7XXX: ok, sa L.A., i dated this pinay girl...[05:00] stranger7XXX: teka, display ko pic namin --> LINK DELETED [05:00] stranger7XXX: para mas emote[05:02] greater_cynic: okay, pero ibang chat program ito ha , so tingnan natin kung lalabas[05:02] greater_cynic: meebo[05:02] greater_cynic: yun[05:00] stranger7XXX: kita ba? -->> LINK DELETED [05:02] greater_cynic: di eh[05:02] greater_cynic: LINK![05:02] greater_cynic: url! naintriga naman ako[05:00] stranger7XXX: teka, upload ko sa photobucket[05:00] stranger7XXX: this is worth it [05:00] stranger7XXX: wait ka lang[05:02] greater_cynic: what is it about ba? [05:02] greater_cynic: para may idea ako[05:00] stranger7XXX: parang nga...basta wag muna spoiler[05:02] greater_cynic: ah okay[05:02] greater_cynic: tagal![05:02] greater_cynic: <-- na excite[05:00] stranger7XXX: hahaha[05:00] stranger7XXX: teka mahaba proseso eh[05:02] greater_cynic: keri lang[05:00] stranger7XXX: ok, eto pic namin last November (LINK DELETED) [05:02] greater_cynic: wow! killer[05:00] stranger7XXX: dating kami nyan, hindi serious...fucking and hanging out lang, ganon[05:02] greater_cynic: so this was november last year[05:00] stranger7XXX: pero Oct. '05 hindi na kami nag-date nyan[05:00] stranger7XXX: oo[05:02] greater_cynic: nice rack ha[05:00] stranger7XXX: tapos, one night, 2 weeks ago....[05:02] greater_cynic: o...[05:02] greater_cynic: what happened two weeks ago?[05:00] stranger7XXX: nag-a-update ako ng pornblog ko, naghahanap ako ng asian video na ipo-post ko, at lintek nag-pop-up ang (LINK DELETED) AT BUMULAGA SA HARAP KO ANG PICTURE NYA!!! NANDUN SYA, TOP OF THE PAGE!!!!![05:00] stranger7XXX: isn't that crazy or what?!?!?[05:02] greater_cynic: wow[05:00] stranger7XXX: putang inang ex ko, PORN STAR NA!!![05:02] greater_cynic: so you were banging a pornstar and you never had an idea[05:02] greater_cynic: two thumbs up[05:00] stranger7XXX: no, bago lang porn star yan, she became a pornstar after kami[05:02] greater_cynic: ah[05:02] greater_cynic: kahit na, two thumbs up pa rin[05:02] greater_cynic: so, were you proud or something?[05:00] stranger7XXX: nag-research nako, so far 2 movies na ginawa nya[05:00] stranger7XXX: mixed emotions eh[05:02] greater_cynic: pero ano mas lamang[05:00] stranger7XXX: pero good thing na hindi kami serious, kung serious eh walang pride akong mararamdaman non[05:02] greater_cynic: pride? regret (kasi nag split kayo)[05:00] stranger7XXX: pride[05:00] stranger7XXX: regret, definitely not[05:02] greater_cynic: ah, no pride kung naging serious kayo?[05:02] greater_cynic: sabagay[05:00] stranger7XXX: pero may mixed na awa, at disappointment...[05:00] stranger7XXX: kasi alam ko life story nya, and lately super gipit sila financially[05:02] greater_cynic: hala, I wasn't thinking of awa and disappointment[05:02] greater_cynic: pero now that you mentioned it[05:02] greater_cynic: ah[05:00] stranger7XXX: yun ang nagtulak sa kanya, gipit eh[05:02] greater_cynic: filipina siya?[05:00] stranger7XXX: i have both her full videos na[05:00] stranger7XXX: hehe[05:00] stranger7XXX: yeah, pinay[05:02] greater_cynic: AYAN[05:02] greater_cynic: so question[05:02] greater_cynic: do you jerk off to your ex gf?[05:00] stranger7XXX: pero grabe, 2nd video nya "Black InvAsian 2" ang title[05:00] stranger7XXX: so u know what that means[05:02] greater_cynic: yup[05:00] stranger7XXX: actually, oo [05:02] greater_cynic: that's going to be wide [05:00] stranger7XXX: pero it was weird[05:02] greater_cynic: HALA[05:02] greater_cynic: ANTULIS MO!!![05:02] greater_cynic: HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[05:02] greater_cynic: like, how weird?[05:00] stranger7XXX: tagal kong hindi makapinawala eh[05:02] greater_cynic: pero oo nga noh, kung iisipin mo[05:02] greater_cynic: (like I would know)[05:02] greater_cynic: pero yeah, it might be. HOW WEIRD ba?[05:00] stranger7XXX: weird kasi imagine watching the girl i used to fuck all the time, is being fucked by some other dudes[05:02] greater_cynic: ah[05:00] stranger7XXX: tapos ungol, sigaw nya, moves nya, brought back the memories...parehong pareho eh[05:02] greater_cynic: pero what makes it weirder is you're jacking off to the whole situation[05:02] greater_cynic: WEIRD![05:00] stranger7XXX: kaya that night i discovered it, tinawagan ko sya [05:02] greater_cynic: pero yeah, I think I might have an IDEA, pero nothing beats your story talaga[05:02] greater_cynic: and what happened[05:00] stranger7XXX: hindi ko pa inaamin[05:00] stranger7XXX: sabi ko lang punta sya dito[05:02] greater_cynic: and then[05:00] stranger7XXX: pupunta naman, June daw[05:00] stranger7XXX: at gagawa kami ng porn [05:02] greater_cynic: do you think she knows na you know she's doing porn?[05:00] stranger7XXX: gagawin ko talaga[05:02] greater_cynic: pero she knows you have a porn blog?[05:00] stranger7XXX: i don't think she knows[05:00] stranger7XXX: wala akong binibigay na hint[05:02] greater_cynic: ah[05:00] stranger7XXX: hindi rin nya alam na may pornblog ako[05:02] greater_cynic: ah[05:02] greater_cynic: so clean and wholesome ang image mo sa kanya[05:00] stranger7XXX: pagdating na lang nya dito,sabihin ko, "Let's watch a movie". tapos ipe-play ko ang porn nya [05:02] greater_cynic: [05:00] stranger7XXX: da best yon[05:02] greater_cynic: gagawin mo nga?[05:00] stranger7XXX: yeah[05:02] greater_cynic: di nga?[05:00] stranger7XXX: oo nga[05:02] greater_cynic: weh?[05:00] stranger7XXX: kung pupunta sya[05:02] greater_cynic: eh pano kung ibang reaction ang makita mo sa kanya[05:00] stranger7XXX: shyet, i can't wait to see how she'd react[05:02] greater_cynic: like shock maybe or [05:00] stranger7XXX: yun nga eh, hindi ko alam[05:00] stranger7XXX: bahala na, basta[05:00] stranger7XXX: pero one thing's for sure, hindi sya magagalit[05:02] greater_cynic: keep the fingers crossed[05:00] stranger7XXX: bakit sya magagalit?[05:02] greater_cynic: pero you two had something going on diba[05:00] stranger7XXX: oo[05:02] greater_cynic: and it's not like she really wanted to become a pornstar in the first place[05:00] stranger7XXX: oo nga[05:00] stranger7XXX: well....[05:02] greater_cynic: so pwede siyang magalit?[05:00] stranger7XXX: noon pa pangarap na nya maging artista [05:02] greater_cynic: HA HA HAAAAAAAAA[05:00] stranger7XXX: i guess natupad na pangarap nya [05:02] greater_cynic: and you're the number one fan[05:02] greater_cynic: waiting for an autograph ba[05:00] stranger7XXX: korek, and soon, magiging "co-star" na nya )[05:00] stranger7XXX: pwede![05:00] stranger7XXX: crazy diba?[05:00] stranger7XXX: wild[05:02] greater_cynic: sinabi mo pa[05:02] greater_cynic: mas magiging crazy siguro pag nagkita na kayo ulit noh?[05:00] stranger7XXX: i tell my story to everybody )[05:00] stranger7XXX: with props[05:00] stranger7XXX: pinapapunta ko dito sa bahay at pakita ang pics at videos[05:02] greater_cynic: wow[05:00] stranger7XXX: panget pag story lang eh[05:02] greater_cynic: eh pano kung tinanong niya "Why are you showing me all this?"[05:02] greater_cynic: pano na ang segue mo niyan ha idol[05:00] stranger7XXX: "because I think this is very hott"[05:00] stranger7XXX: pwede?[05:02] greater_cynic: harsh![05:00] stranger7XXX: eh pano[05:00] stranger7XXX: game yon eh[05:02] greater_cynic: kasi if I was the girl noh, I'd think na you wanted us to meet to catch up on things or something[05:00] stranger7XXX: ah ok[05:02] greater_cynic: knowing na you two used to be a couple diba[05:02] greater_cynic: pero shempre, we won't know pa rin[05:00] stranger7XXX: pero i HAVE TO show her the video!!![05:02] greater_cynic: MANYAK![05:02] greater_cynic: HA HA HAAAAAA[05:00] stranger7XXX: tapos nakabukas lang yung zipper ko, nakalabas na yung etits ko [05:02] greater_cynic: [05:00] stranger7XXX: "o kumusta na?" nakalabas yung etits[05:02] greater_cynic: eh pano kung sinampal niya yung butotoy mo?[05:00] stranger7XXX: pero i know, success to[05:00] stranger7XXX: i know her[05:02] greater_cynic: you feel it in your fingers?[05:02] greater_cynic: you feel it in your soul?[05:00] stranger7XXX: she'll give it to me good[05:02] greater_cynic: kumanta ba?[05:00] stranger7XXX: gusto mo download ang video nya?[05:02] greater_cynic: nye, I don't like porn.[05:00] stranger7XXX: ok[05:02] greater_cynic: porn is bad[05:02] greater_cynic: HA HAH AAAA[05:02] greater_cynic: straight porn is bad[05:02] greater_cynic: HA HAAAAA[05:00] stranger7XXX: :-j[05:02] greater_cynic: pero pretty siya ha[05:00] stranger7XXX: roommate ko nga, gigil na gigil na[05:00] stranger7XXX: yeah maganda sya[05:02] greater_cynic: siguro she looks prettier this time kasi she's all glammed up na and everything noh?[05:00] stranger7XXX: mas maganda sya with black hair[05:02] greater_cynic: ah[05:00] stranger7XXX: dun sa site makikita mo[05:00] stranger7XXX: kaya lang (LINE DELETED)[05:00] stranger7XXX: teka...[05:02] greater_cynic: nako, baka mas mahirapan kang mag-muscle control niyan pag sobrang laki ng ginanda niya[05:00] stranger7XXX: ay, hindi mo nga pala kita ang avatar[05:02] greater_cynic: oo nga[05:00] stranger7XXX: hindi naman malaki pagbabago[05:02] greater_cynic: malay mo she has this newer appeal to her[05:02] greater_cynic: more exciting, sexciting ika nga[05:00] stranger7XXX: siguro nga[05:00] stranger7XXX: "celebrity" aura nya [05:02] greater_cynic: yeah[05:00] stranger7XXX: naku can't wait talaga[05:02] greater_cynic: sex appeal off the roof[05:02] greater_cynic: kailan ulit kayo meet?[05:00] stranger7XXX: punta sya mid-June daw[05:02] greater_cynic: in two to three weeks na pala[05:00] stranger7XXX: onga[05:00] stranger7XXX: ....ikaw....[05:00] stranger7XXX: ano yung role-playing story mo ha?!?!?[05:02] greater_cynic: okay[05:00] stranger7XXX: bago ba yan?[05:02] greater_cynic: I was the character-actor[05:02] greater_cynic: he was the director[05:02] greater_cynic: and it was a kissing scene[05:00] stranger7XXX: yung director hinalikan ang actor?[05:02] greater_cynic: so ganito, I was supposed to be asleep, he's going to make me gapang, he's going to rape me, and I'd kiss back[05:00] stranger7XXX: haha[05:02] greater_cynic: ewan, I feel uncomfortable telling this to a straight guy[05:00] stranger7XXX: eh hindi rape yon[05:02] greater_cynic: HA HAAAA[05:02] greater_cynic: "Lights Camera Action" and everything, scripts and props and all that good jazz[05:00] stranger7XXX: dayyyymmm[05:00] stranger7XXX: huge production ba?[05:02] greater_cynic: sa kuwarto ko yun eh, we sort of improvised[05:00] stranger7XXX: let me guess...u just met this guy?[05:02] greater_cynic: nope[05:00] stranger7XXX: ay mali[05:02] greater_cynic: for less than a month na[05:02] greater_cynic: he brings out the kinky in me[05:00] stranger7XXX: let than a month?[05:02] greater_cynic: (AMPANGET! HA HA HAAAAA)[05:02] greater_cynic: make that a month[05:00] stranger7XXX: eh bago nga lang[05:00] stranger7XXX: sus naman to[05:00] stranger7XXX: panget sya?[05:02] greater_cynic: nope[05:00] stranger7XXX: ah yung sinabi mo[05:02] greater_cynic: I'm sure naman na you won't kiss ugly if you can help it davah?[05:00] stranger7XXX: korek[05:02] greater_cynic: and alam mo, sa kanya ko unang mag-try ng props[05:02] greater_cynic: like syrup and edible stuff[05:00] stranger7XXX: props = toys?[05:02] greater_cynic: nope, edibles pa muna[05:00] stranger7XXX: hanep[05:00] stranger7XXX: malagkit yon[05:02] greater_cynic: yeah, sobra[05:02] greater_cynic: I never had that much syrup and spit on me before[05:02] greater_cynic: kaya I'm not trying that again[05:00] stranger7XXX: nadala na ba[05:00] stranger7XXX: next time, fruits na lang[05:02] greater_cynic: di naman, the sensation was excellent, pero medio unhygienic.[05:02] greater_cynic: fruits[05:02] greater_cynic: how much fruit can penetrate a guy diba? GROSS![05:00] stranger7XXX: hahaha[05:00] stranger7XXX: upo[05:00] stranger7XXX: patola[05:00] stranger7XXX: langka [05:02] greater_cynic: harsh![05:02] greater_cynic: langka, naalala ko tuloy yung joke with Saddam Hussein in hell[05:00] stranger7XXX: oo nga[05:02] greater_cynic: IDOL, kain lang[05:00] stranger7XXX: sige[05:00] stranger7XXX: log off nako[05:02] greater_cynic: okay[05:02] greater_cynic: save ko itong chat session ha[05:00] stranger7XXX: hahah[05:02] greater_cynic: for future reference[05:00] stranger7XXX: sige
**This is my favorite gay film; I taught myself to snap in a circle because I believe that I am the poor man's Noxeema Jackson. That's Wesley Snipes in drag, case you didn't know, and he was so totally super fierce with the false eyelashes and the feather boa. Here are some quotes from this fantastic wealth of gay wisdom. Enjoy!
Noxeema Jackson * Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying? * ...like the Miami Sound Machine just exploded all over you. o when asked 'How do I look?' by Chi-Chi. * I ain't drivin' you no more, Miss Daisy! * Why do I feel like I'm in the Macy's Day Parade? * Your mother. * Look, that child is latin. You don't want to gettin mixed up in all that latin mess. She might turn out to be a sandinista or something. * I do not do the bus. You obviously have me mistaken for Miss Rosa Parks. * Look at her, runnin' like she runnin' across the border. * Oh no girlfriend, did you just do a U-ie? * When a straight man puts on a dress and goes on a sexual kick he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation he is a Transsexual. When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen. And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress! * Check yourself Loretta, before you wreck yourself! * If you want to let them know that there is steak for dinner, you got to let them hear it sizzle!
Chi-Chi Rodriguez * The seats are like butter! * We were so poor my parents married for the rice. * I'm a princess! P to the R to the N to the cess! * When Noxema asks 'Why do I feel like I'm in the Macy's Day Parade?' * Cause you're as big as a float. * I didn’t ask to come on this trip, did I? No, I don’t think so! Did I ask for you to be making me over, jump through all kinds of hoops like some kind of circus poodle? No, I don’t think so! And do I want to go to jail because of some cop killer? No, I don’t think so! So as soon as we get to the next town, I’m jumping on the first man and I’m riding him all the way to New York City and away from you two puckered up stuck up puntas because this trip sucks! It sucks! * Vida, you know, you're not a queen because you rule people, or you sit on a throne, baby. You're a queen because you couldn't cut it as a man so you had to put on a dress, that's why. * I decly ! ( I declare! ) * I love rough necks, tell me if I was your bread would you be my butter. * Uptight cellulite dinosaur fossil face white honky cracker witch! * lord grant me the serenity to accept that im am im just a boy in a dress and the courage to change with the fashions and the wisdom to know the difference * I'm the latina Marilyn Monroe. I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
Vida Boheme * Internal combustion, the ultimate accessory. * What in gay hell? * We are three young career girls... * Now shes going to get herself kidnapped by some mountain man and we will have to go rescue her! * Operation Decorator Storm... * That's possibly-dead Sheriff Dullard! * (In normal male voice) Get your hand off my DICK, buddy!
Thanks to WikiQuotes.
And who in the world is Julie Newmar?
And here's a list of my other favorite movies!
**As space saving as zip locs. 
I know it's off topic, but here's the golden link to what can be the most space saving piece of HTML code. Presenting, How to Make Expandable Posts in Blogger by HTML goddess No Fancy Name. Again, I am not taking no credit for this, I wouldn't know how to write code if my life depended on the thing. I'm just grateful to her for helping us bloggers who need to economize their front pages. Here's the link:
How to Make Expandable Posts in Blogger And here's her new place:Battle of the Ants From what I know, this blog is no longer active, and she has moved to this new place. But its still there for posterity AND REFERENCE, and it has never left my roll for very obvious reasons. I've been using this code for more than a year now, and it's always been a charm. At least on the classic blogger format. Hope this helps!
