**It's calls like this that makes technical support better than straight-to-hell telemarketing. Among other things, that is.
So this customer calls in saying that he has a problem with his email. He says he's experiencing a lot of latency with his incoming mails; the last time he received emails was like two days ago or something. And then he goes ahead and tells me this:
"I live in Texas, and most of my customers are from Texas. I understand if they're sending me emails from New York or California, that will take time. But they're just around the block, so why is it taking just as long?
**Or very wrong statements you get used to while doing technical support.
1. You need long distance services to be able to use the internet.2. Numbers are case sensitive.3. You access your email by putting your email address in the address bar of your internet browser.4. Doing a double right click makes things going.5. Windows XL is the latest Windows operating system.6. Putting a potato near your DSL modem/router will help your wireless DSL signal.7. Yes, I can see what you are doing.
It's all fun and games until this customer type comes along.We're doing a virus scan.
ME: That scan might take some time, sir. How long have you been using this computer anyway?
CUSTOMER: Uhmm, today.
ME: No, all your life?
Twenty minutes later and he wants to download a support program for his DSL connection. We went as far as the Download Page.
CUSTOMER: What do I do now?
ME: Tell me, what clickable options do you have in that webpage?
CUSTOMER: Well, there's Download _____ Tool... for Windows XP/2000 users, click here... for Windows vista users, click here...
ME: Oh okay. So which Windows do you have?
CUSTOMER: The latest.
ME: So you have VISTA?
CUSTOMER: Windows XP.
ME: Okay. So you mentioned a DOWNLOAD LINK or button for Windows XP users, right?
CUSTOMER: Yes.
ME: Can you try clicking on that button?
CUSTOMER: How about this one says Vista?
ME: No, that won't help.
CUSTOMER: So I click on this one here says XP?
ME: Sure, let's try that.
CUSTOMER: Oh there you go!
ME: Good job.
CUSTOMER: You're so very patient!
ME: Thanks. I know.
There was this woman who saw her IP in her sister-in-law's blog. She didn't know it, but she was referring to one of those cutesy blogging tools for props. She then calls us to complain that she's being hacked, and she'd like us to do something about it.How do you imply "Ma'am, aren't we being a little paranoid today?"
I do technical support as some kinky night job, and you have no idea how some calls just make it worth the long nights. Let me share some of those stories beginning with this post on.
I was walking this caller, he was this guy with a rasping low voice, through customizing the SPAM PROTECTION in his Yahoo inbox. He has no problems at all following directions, and his inbox was almost completely SPAM PROOF within minutes.
I went on ahead and gave him examples of which email messages to look out for. So I told him, "No sir, you don't want that VIAGRA mail. Let's go on ahead and check that to MARK it as SPAM."
And then there was silence. About ten to fifteen seconds of it. I just had to put the phone on mute after realizing that he must be having second thoughts.
