Friday, October 04, 2013

Greatly Appreciated! Thundering Thanks!

**"Thank you" is just two words. I wrote you guys a mouthful, instead. 

Image from

I never, ever, ever, ever, no not ever, ever, ever asked no one to "Please Follow Me!" Last time I checked, which was just about now, I never embellished my side bar with an explicit request for you guys to "What the hell are you waiting for?" Yes, there is a button that says "Join this site," but it was never accompanied with a well-written threat. I Thanked you for the follow, that I did, and I have never edited that because I am still very grateful. However, I never asked any of you sweethearts to do so. You did that out of your own volition and your own free will. I never forced, or threatened, or bribed, or held anyone at knife point, gun point, or cock point (imagine that, "tinutukan ng burat," haha). You followed me. You did that on your own. 

And I can never, ever, ever, ever, no not ever, thank you enough. 

I Said This Before

No one in their right mind should volunteer to follow me. I would never follow me. Not even if I took out my dick as a bribe. "Look at that cock, homo. How's that for size, huh? It's pointing at your laptop where it's master opened some bullshit blog. How's about giving it a look see? Or maybe a follow? There you go baby." 

Image from Sodahead
I know I said this before, but your continued patronage still leaves me simultaneously confused and grateful. Like I said, you know what I write, and how I write, and you know how I like to be obscene, but you kept at it anyway and I don't know why. My posts are spaced a week in between. I cuss a lot. I use long sentences. I write about rape and reassigned vaginas and throwing cats in hampers and breastfeeding in cabs and dead people and stupid things that nobody gives a stupid fuck about. My grammar is usually suspect. I have never received a Blog Award. I have recently disabled my comments. But I still have my followers. And they are growing. Shit, man, what can I say? Thank you guys for being weird. 

What Crazy Bus Got You Here?

I was reviewing my followers the other day, and I know I recognize some of you from my early blog-whoring days. I was shining with optimism then. And that was from seven years ago. I was hungry for a link exchange back in the old days, and I honestly believed it was going to be easy. This, ugh, optimism gave birth to this pathetic appetite for self-promotion; I actually took the unbillable time to check on other blogs on a regular basis. I left comments everywhere because I thought they all would spare me the same courtesy. I wanted to be recognized SO BAD that I went so low as to volunteer a Guest Post. It was, come to think of it, a most embarrassing idea because the currency was shameful: a hundred-word post, at least, for a link exchange. Blah, shudder. 

Image from io9

I left comments everywhere, I linked this blog to my email signature, I offered to guest post, and went so far as to gamble with the quality of my blog roll. There was a time that I saturated my blog roll with the occasional boring blog. But it was all in the spirit of honest optimism. I wanted to be recognized! I was hopeful, and cheerful, and blogged with a skip in my step, and had the enthusiasm of a five-year old girl. I was the height of pathetic social climbing back then. I became my own grave embarrassment. I was seriously out of character back then, and it still disgusts me to this day. Why, I would spit on my grave if I was dead seven years ago. 

All I wanted was a link exchange. But some of you guys followed me, instead. It was like hoping for random anal but getting a bukkake facial instead. I am truly honored. Thank you. Of course, I do not mean to offend any of you good people. I am rather kinky by default, and the gang bang comparison is really a compliment. 

This Includes You, Yes You, and That Weird Nerd Next to You

Image from Survivaltribe.
Meanwhile, I am still unfamiliar with several other names in my 71-strong (and proud) list of followers. Again, my optimism has had several death anniversaries; I no longer whore around for a link exchange. I no longer blog hop. I no longer entertain random link exchanges. I no longer comment back. And the only endorsements my updates get are from any of the following sources: 

  1. Status updates in my Selfie Media of choice. I'm sorry. I meant to say Social Media.
  2. That small handful of bloggers who link me in their smart blog rolls. 
  3. My intermittent presence in Ms Jessica Zafra's blog. My alias, Momelia, is linked to this blog, see. 
  4. The strong odor of burning sulfur And lotion usually signifies this blog has been updated.
  5. Check this blog if you are suddenly getting feverish in the afternoons. And that is coupled by extreme discomfort when you're urinating And there's a distinct pain in your dick. And some discharge. I mean, the pain can't get any more severe, so you might as well, right? And on the off chance that you did pay me a visit if you're having one of those days, then let me share a tip. Branded antibiotics will murder your wallet. Go generic and save yourself a good fifteen pesos a pop. 

What I meant to say is that I don't advertise myself as much as I used to. And having said that, it still suprises me beyond expectation how I am still getting hits and follows from you people. Thank you. And let me be a homo and "thank you for your wonderful" patronage. 

This goes out to you, yes you, and that weird nerd next to you. Thank you. 

This out of sync, however appropriate image is from Leisurecommunities.

I appreciate you all! Muahness from Pasig Cirehhhh!


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