Friday, May 17, 2013

Reading is Fun!


**And this here list tells you why.





1. You can buy, or hoard, all the cheap-ass books you want until you are cheap-ass broke. But hoarding books is awful stupid if you can't read. That's like collecting a lot of spandex underwear, and you're not even a wrestler. 

2. You've always wanted to carve your niche in society. And you've always wanted to join the ranks of your social inspirations. Fortunately, some of your efforts did pay off. So you now have the bull cap worn sideways, the oversized jersey, zero individuality, and that funny swagger, but you can't be a jejemon yet if you can't read. If you can't read, then you can't text. And if you can't text, then how can you even hope to retard the reading that you have should have learned in the first place? W46 k~n6 +4n64 ph0w$zzZZ

3. You can't be an accomplished flying voter if you can't even read your cheat sheet, fool. 

4. You will be missing out on some unnecessary gay venom published Friday evenings if you can't read. And, having said that, who the hell cares?

5. You cannot LIKE on Facebook if you cannot read your jejemon friends' status updates. Think about it. LIKES SAVES LIVES these days. And Jesus, oh Jesus, you will find out that Jesus H. Christ himself logs in to Facebook from time to time. Oh hell yes. And the Lord Savior will need your likes to advocate some very noble Christian cause like shooting abortionists on the head. Or Liking the faggots to their death. Via Facebook. For real, homo.

6. I'm sorry, what? You think I'm fucking with you? Well, if it isn't Him, then how come The Savior's holier than thou status updates include a picture of Him? Well? Anything? Answer that, bitch, while I poke the Lord. And I will PM Him, and I will ask Him NOT TO SAVE YOUR UNBELIEVING SOUL! And I will write in the Lord's sacred Wall, too: 


Dear Jesus, please deny (insert your name here) of the salvation that You have promised your sheep. Please, oh please, let (insert your name here)'s soul burn in hell because that uncouth heathen think Your Facebook Account is unwashed blasphemy. Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh! Amen. 

7. And what about this screenshot?




8. Oh yeah? YOU WILL TURN INTO A PILLAR OF SALT! AND YOU WILL BE FED TO LIONS! AND THESE LIONS WILL DEVOUR YOU WITH RELISH BECAUSE THEY ARE HUNGRY AND SODIUM DEFICIENT! YOUR SOUL WILL BURN IN HELL, YOU HOMO! Goddamnit, it infuriates me to find out that there are faithless fools out there who have the balls to deny Jesus of His Facebook account! THE PEARLY GATES WILL CLOSE ON YOU, MOTHERFUCKEEERRR!

9. Oh hell no, homo. It's three in the afternoon, and this kind of sun doesn't work well with your leathery, fifty-ish skin. Let's face facts, faggot. At your age, you don't want to look that tired AND smell like a heatstroke waiting to happen, right? Oh, I'm sorry, I was writing this on my way home, in an FX, and I saw this old fag sashaying along Julia Vargas. It was three in the afternoon, he didn't have an umbrella, so I had to write something. But insulting that unholy apparition calmed me. I'm good now. Sorry about the sudden bitch fit in caps, though. You know I'm a good Christian. You go, Jesus! Anyway, allow me to continue. 

10. There's a lot of bookish nerds out there. Have something in common! They're mostly virgins, too, so I'd best be learning my alphabet now. However, I am not guaranteeing a date with a circumcised nerd. And "virgins" doesn't always mean "hella cute," okay? 

11. www.jessicarulestheuniverse.com. Seriously, homo, that there is The Mistress. You are missing out. 

12. You cannot be a largely ignored gay emo blogger if you cannot read. See, reading progresses to writing. And writing, given the determination or a lot of free time, progresses to blogging. Think about it. You're this gay emo kid who can now read and write. And you know you can use some loving. And a bath. Anyway, you decided to blog. And then your blogging progresses to... ignore #12. Just go to #11. Seriously, homo, that there is The Mistress. 

13. You can use a book to ignore people. And I wrote about that, too. Click here. 




See you homos next Friday. Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!

20 comments:

  1. Huwaatt?! No comments?? Mowmehl, as usual your bloggie's a blast :) (Adding Jesus as a friend right now! Teehee!) Wuv u! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, Pearlie, the no comments thing is okay. I have been out of commission for such a long long time. And, outside of Facebook, I don't blog hop anymore. I don't think they know I'm updating again.

      Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!

      Delete
  2. But we do, oh manic malevolent one, we do. And, not only that, we also read. Every. Single. Entry.

    Muahness from Mandaluyong City, Makati City, and the unexplored treasure trails of Cavite!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, Red. Manic Malevolent One? You're killing me! It's not everday that I become the Homosexual Maleficent, and I appreciate that. How are you two guys doing?

      Delete
    2. We're doing ok. Work's a b*tch, as always. I do believe work is the biggest hurdle to having a life. Bow.

      Delete
  3. Momel, y u so anger? :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a Roman Catholic. And I hate it, with such a seething passion, when people deny The Lord Jesus of His Facebook account.

      Baklaaa kaaa! Parang di mo naman naamoy yung sarcasm. Kainis ka. Gayunpaman eh Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh pa rin.

      Delete
  4. Uhm, Momel, why do you have Internet Explorer pinned on your taskbar?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uhm, Vajayjay, what's that got to do with anything? I miss you homo, it's been so long. What's new? Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!

      Delete
  5. I like how this embedded comments format make me look like I am sincerely touched by you guys' returns. Hahaa, I kid, I kid. I am pleased that you guys still find the time to return and comment. It makes me moist in more ways than one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay for embedded and threaded comments! haha Lakas maka-celebrity niyan.

      WV; granted dedeMo. dede mo din! haha

      Delete
    2. Actually fren eh nakita ko ito sa blog mo, at pisil na pisil ko ang correspondence mo with your readers. May personal feel, and I like that. Ayan, feel mo na rin ba fren? Haha!

      Delete
    3. hahaha is this more of your pasig cirreh sarcasm? haha echos lang. but yes, i personally prefer itong threaded chenes. parang you become a real blogger and not just someone with an online space. for more correspondence action!

      and let me borrow from you again. (sorry, dito ko lang to magawa!) muaness from makati cirrehhh!

      Delete
    4. There you go, Nyl. Real Blogger. Those two words right there can't be any more right on the kisser. And when you think about it, these threaded comments give you some more depth outside of your edited grammar, punctuation marks, and stolen pictures.

      Ayan, let's muahness each other to death. Haha!

      Delete
  6. now i'm ditching my plans to exhibit my spandex collection. lols.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, Amiga, you know I should thank you for always dropping by. You know how you are one of my earliest comments, since 2004, and it amazes me how you are still here. I am touched, Amiga, seriously.

      And I answered your survey. Muahness you.

      Delete
  7. OMG I don't know how to use this embedded comments thing! Ancient! LOL

    That was a joke, Momel. I was trying to say no one's supposed to have Internet Explorer anywhere ever because Internet Explorer is the spawn of the devil. Take it from Facebook Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Relax Vajayjay with the all caps, relax. You're dilating. And you are deafening my eyes. Homo.

      But I have to admit, this embedded comments shit is getting me kinky in all the right places. And I gotta thank Nyl for the inspiration.

      Haha, okay fine, I get it. Internet Explorer is the work of the devil. And I'm using it now. Harhar

      Thanks Vajayjay for dropping by. And Nyl. And Amiga. And Red. And Pearl. Oh, Pearl, you know how I thanked Bry for sticking with me through these mostly unproductive years? That includes you, sweetheart. You were here when my blog had flies on it.

      You know what, fags, thank you all for your darling support. And I will stop here for the time being. This embedded comments God send is making me soft. I will like it on Facebook sometime.

      Delete
  8. Dear Momel,

    You just made my day. haha
    :)
    Well just got inked. Fresh pa! Woot!
    Also, move on an move on nako dear friend haha!

    Yay may nagbabasa pa pala ng blog ko lol

    Anyway, here are my new shits: www.graphicsmetropolis.com

    :)

    Apir!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ayun oh, may tattoo oh! Apir, Bulitz! MInsan mag compare tayo ng mga tattoo ha? Sleeves talaga? Tindehhh! Full sleeve na agad?

      Haha, see, tattoos excite me.

      Anyway, oo, binabasa ko pa rin ung mga posts mo, and I admire your output. Very consistent ha.

      At! Big time photographer na! I am humbled fren. Congratulations to you! Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!

      Delete

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