Sunday, June 05, 2011

Lurk On, Love

Before anything else, allow me to say this, and I say this on a fucken spiritual note -- I really meant what I said on that loser post.

This post.

I've been on several hiatuses over the longevity of this blog, and I meant to take that last spasmic fit seriously. I had designed to commit to it's finality. It will be the Hiatus to rule Hiatuses. It will be The One Hiatus. It will be the Queen of Absences, and it will have it's own parade, coronation, and well-dressed, fashion forward, barely legal power tops. I have elected to this new found principle: my posts, then, will be my online menstruation, once a month, and I will honor that promise with every fiber in my increasingly stagnant being.

It sounded like a plan when, in the course of my blogging abandonment, I logged in to these stats in my page load counter.

Fuck. Somebody's reading me. Someone new, I suppose. But fuck.

Nothing alarms me more than a sensational surge in my page loads. Most especially when I'm not that keen in advertisement. Sure, I announce my posts in my Facebook News Feed. I sometimes shout out a pertinent post in Jessica Zafra's comments. But that's about it. Why, look at my roll. Those darlink punks, no, kindred beings are there because I know they get me. I don't add to ornament, no, I don't decorate. My followers? I don't follow on a whim, and I don't follow just because. I judge that whatever followers I have are there out of their volition and their own free will. It's a democracy, that's what it is, and I'm thankful that I have those guys out there.

Having said that, I will go Brazilian and wax my roll.

Sure, I read myself from time to time, but I rigged my Stat Counter in a way that it doesn't count my own page loads. So you'd understand why such surges in my page loads get to me. What the hell? Are there more of me out there? Because if that's the case, then I have no other choice but to save face and keep writing. I have to amuse myself, I have to keep up with the indoctrination and the miseducation.

I need to keep me reading
if there's more of me out there.

I will write on a once-a-week basis, which is basically an improvement on my once-a-month basis. I will do this to keep me above water; I had several bouts with quitting, which prompted these hiatuses, and I used to not know why I keep coming back. But I understood what maligned my enthusiasm towards blogging.

Unlesss you're a professional writer who's disposed to output, or you have a payroll of writers under your belt, or you're earning from your blogging, or you quit your day job (or your kinky night job, at that) because you want to earn from blogging, I suggest that you observe healthy intervals between your posts. You will burn out, if you don't, and I say that with the certainty of a heart attack.

Comments and regulars are nice, but give yourself a life, too. I know it's entertaining, a steady validation, even, but don't get too attached to this correspondence. Unless, of course, you never had one to begin with, please live the life you had before you signed up for a Blogger Account. Go out. Drink alcohol. Get laid. Get laid again. And again. Give yourself time to masturbate.

I've been blogging since 2004, and I'm still, barely, hardly, scarcely, tolerably at it. I just realized that this is my 359th post, and I don't see a particle of accomplishment in it. But we will drink to my 400th post, and I will be buying. Or hosting, rather. Let me know if you have nothing against participation; write me a comment.


  1. Momellllll aymishu!
    Salamat sayo narating ko ang mundo ni Ape.
    And yes Momel, I do go out, I drink alcohol and I do get laid, hard as it may seem to believe LOLz

  2. I am happy to hear you are writing more. Kamusta ka? How was summer? =)

    And Momel, ARE you getting laid? =)


  3. Ayun, and what prompted this latest hiatus ba? Anyway, you are right, unless you are being paid to blog, nobody should dictate when you should write. Or am I just saying this because I also don't get to blog that often anymore. But that's because work is interfering with my blogging. Bwahahahah!

    400th post FTW! :-)

  4. momeeeeel! na-miss kitaaaaaa!

    tama yung intervals. we should be blogging about our lives, hindi yung ang blogging na mismo ang nagiging buhay natin.

  5. Aaah Momel! Cheers to forcing yourself to menstruate once a week! All the vajayjays in the world salute you!

    Game ako sa inuman! Yey! Pero that's 400th pa, 41 posts/weeks away if you plan on being on hiatus for that long. Matagal pa, pwede pa ko magpa bikini wax. Bwahihihi.

  6. inuman!!! I like. hahahaa..
    sulat lang sulat...kahit years pa ang interval! ahahhaa.

  7. The Pot Session12:17 AM

    blah lah lah my blog is getting too much hits I'm soooo kawawa. Ill me nyon nyayaytus ngos aym nyow misi. You know you love the attention don't pretend!

    Joke lang. Obviously I didn't get the point of this and I just felt like unleashing a certain meanness towards you because you didn't have to explain your absence anyway and I'm affectionate like that and I just missed you, facebook friend! Let's drinks ulet one of these days and cut the blog arte craps. Peace. Of shit.

  8. Orally -- You're welcome. Salamat naman, in return, kay Glentot dahil kung hindi dahil sa FB link na yun eh di ko matutunton ang lungga ni Ape. Wag kang mag-alala at kumpiyansa naman ako sa sex life mo. Kumbaga eh hindi na kagulat gulat ang mga rebelasyon mong nabobona ka pa, from time to time.

    Kane -- Summer? Hay naku, Pogi, ka-inet! Lecheng Summer yan, hindi pa matapos tapos, yan ang pupunit sa hymen ko eh. Am I getting laid? Ide-detail ko sana, pero binabasa ni Mama tong blog ko minsan. I'm modest lyk dat yow. Kaya minsan eh dinadaan ko na lang sa fiction. Alam na!

    Kaye -- This latest hiatus was brought to you by BonBon Baby Cologne. Let's share that refreshing feeling with BonBon Baby Cologne (BonBon!). Yehess, 400th post FTW! Kampay!

    Nishigirl -- Oo nga, pero alam mo namang minsan eh buhay mo ang ni-blog mo. Lalo na nung Ex Jason ka pa. Echusera ka minsan eh.

    Vajayjay -- Oo ha, confeerm yan ha, panauhing pandangal ka pag nagkaton. At dahil diyan eh Filipiniana ang outfit mo sa araw na yon, okay?

    Jhong Hilario -- Yan, thanks. At congratulations din dahil nahirang kang bagong mukha ng mga kontrabidang kapamilya. Pak!

    Pot Session -- Hindot. Puro ka si "Sure sure (smiley face)!" pag napagte-text-an na yang follow up na nomo na yan. Hoy walang arte tong post na to ha, hindi ako ganun pag impromptu, mababa ang talent fee pag ganun.

    Mabuhay kayong lahat, mga punks! Muahness from Pasig Cirehhhh!



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