My Horny Prince

I'm thinking of buying a female siamese cat because my horny Prince is whining me to death with his guttural "meezering."

He's almost a year old, in human years, and I have good reason to believe that he hasn't had any yet. I tried to set the mood between him and this female stray one time, but my Prince, oh my poor insufferable Prince, he wouldn't know THE moves from the stuff in his litter box. He got scratched in the face the moment he started sniffing his female's love Friskie, and he was only hornier ever since. I'm telling you, having a pet's a good thing because they de-stress you for some weird reason, but they will WAIL you out of bed for one other reason or another.

"SHAT your jilted pie hole, you motherfucking baby, we'll get you laid soon enough."

I can throw him in a hamper though...