When Was The Last Time the World Rotated Around You?

See, I don't think it actually did. It never did. Your personal understanding of the world and its axis never involved you in the equation. It's just your ego that caused this. It's just you thinking you're all high and mighty impressionable with whatever claim to fame you think you have to your credit. Spare me, spare us, we really don't care. And we mean it. We really don't.

You have got to stop believing that you cause people to stop with their mouth agape and look at you or whatever you think is physically pretty about you. See, there is always bound to be somebody who's going to make you feel ten times uglier than you never you thought you actually were. Believe me, there always is, and that's already assuming that you actually are pretty by other people's standards. Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder, and if you wish to be beheld as somebody visually desirable, then leave room for more than one beholder. If you wish to put your money where your assumptions are, then you need to subject yourself to other people's judgment, other people being the operative phrase.

There is always another person that's better paid than you are, so stop flashing your promotion around like you got there first. It's not like you're the only sheriff in town, you see, and there's always a shinier badge. You may or may not deserve the promotion, but we're sure we don't deserve to be suffocated by all this power tripping.

You hang out with a goodlooking crowd of the hippest people available in your area. People then identify you as one of the hippest people available in your area. That's cool by association, and, honestly, there's really no cool associated with this ecosystem. You get to have their cool transferred to you by virtue of your being a social parasite, and then you start forgetting that you can't be cool on your own. Parasitism. That's what it is. No, really.

The fake accent doesn't amaze us one bit. Well guess what Joe, or Jack, or Johnson, or whatever your American name is, there's just about a thousand other Joes or Jacks or Johnsons out there. And they're getting better paid than you are. And their accent's a whole heaven of believable. So shush your posing; manong jeepney driver's shitting in his pants as he's trying to find out how to make sukli your twey-neeh pey-sows.

No, you are not cool. You are never going to be the judge of that. Forget what you might have read about the shit behind self-empowerment. That tends to confuse you, and if any of this reaches you and causes echoes in your made up ivory tower, then you were confused big time. The only reason why any of this should strike a nerve is if this post mentioned any of your stinking idiosyncrasies. Well whoop-de-freaking-do, I'm not apologizing for your delusions on account of that will be, for all the right reasons, your own stinking problem.

And honestly, we're not sure where all your confidence is coming from.

See, it's not our fault you're such an attention whore.