Saturday, August 19, 2006

How Much Cock Do I Have to Suck?

**or How Many Blogs Do I Have To Hop To Get the Traffic?

There are people who drop by your tagboard, leave a quick message, and then promote their blog. They are not asking for a link exchange, they just want to let you know that they blog too. Whoop-de-doo.

There are people who comment on your most recent post, and then promote their blog. You then remember your policy towards generic comments as you remember the other generic comment before this one.

There are people who go straight to the point and tell you that a link exchange is necessary. You used to entertain such invitations. And you longed for such invitations until you realized that, in the long run, it is better to keep fewer bloggers and call them family as opposed to maintaining a long list and call it grocery shopping. Or blog shopping to be more specific since that's what it basically is. What makes it such a drag is that you find out that don't need everything in your bag.

There are people who just "dropped by." These people are also bloghoppers. So why can't they just "hop by?" But I don't get it when they say they're just "dropping by." Oh shit. You can tell just how bad I am with puns.

And then there's the rare kind. They tell you to go to their blog with not as much as dispensing early courtesies. So, you don't.

You already know that you have a nice blog. Somebody already beat them to it, but they called it a rocking blog, or a great blog with "nice posts," or a cool site with rocking entries. They're not even implying that you reciprocate. And this makes you wonder: Is this the blogger's handshake?

SPAM is only good when it comes from a can. And you know how molested you're tagboard has become when it's festered with unsolicited advertisements and people "dropping by." Oh shit. Take a picture of me and my bad punning.

Looking back, you realize that everybody needs to start somewhere. Just like you did. And then you smile as you remember how you once participated in this attention-whoring cycle. You still do. But then again, you remember that you were never of this type:

There are people who call your blog names and call themselves anonymous. This is because they only have one ball left to identify themselves with. Yes, all that name calling exhausted both their balls in the process.


See also:
Momel's Take: The Unwritten Rules of Blogging

24 comments:

  1. i love SPAM.

    (taray, one-liner!!!)

    a basta. you're good, in this blogging thing. and i dont mean the add-ons and the html magic...keber na sa traffic!

    you're so good that in the oh so near future of my multi-millionairedom (in US$) i'd spend my first ten mil on your book. (another 2 for our outfit and make- over for the book launching)

    promise yan ng isang fan.

    meanwhile, i'm off to grab a rich Aussie papa... oh done that na... i mean, another rich Aussie papa!

    :-)

    woof!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "gotta have those millions for meomels book...gotta...gotta..."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Okay na kaya ang 500 bloghops per day?

    Sus.. ewan ko ba..mashado kasing kinakarir ang traffic e.

    Merong iba na sandamakmak ang bloglinks sa site.. para easy access sa paghohop sa tagboards.

    Never realizing na nkakainsulto yun sa blog owner.

    puro "just dropping by" sa tagboards.. but not even bothering to read the blog's content.

    kahayblad.

    luv yah! mwah! mwah!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Una sa lahat, natawa ako sa title!

    Second, I must admit na guilty ako sa iba sa mga sinabi mo. Pero noon yun ah! I always make it a point to read and comment on the latest posts.

    Guilty din ako for having a long blogroll! After this post, I promise to dramatically reduce the amount of my links! Hehe!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hellow hellow! @ Bry!

    I still remember THE email na I later turned to a blog post. I heart heart your sweet little heart!

    MUAH!

    he hee @ Devilish

    I sooo miss you back. Twice. All over.

    And oo, I really don't get some blogs with all this traffic and none of the substance. Daming implications nun. Har!

    Muah!

    Har! @ jigs

    That was me quoting Jim Carrey.

    Cheers!

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  7. lurker lang ako. does that count?

    hehee

    i hope that when you clean out your blogroll (if you're planning to anyway) i still get to stay.

    plugging ba yun? or begging?

    haha

    *huggies

    ReplyDelete
  8. awwww @ Ira

    You're the sweetest heart, and your Pineapple will never leave my Sea.

    He hee, how's that for reference?

    Cheers and MUAH!

    ReplyDelete
  9. this blog has nothing to do with my blog link making a disappearing act, right?

    ReplyDelete
  10. okay. now i'm scared of posting a comment. hahaha. just so we're clear, i am not plugging my blog. my site is repulsive, and is a window to all things vile. do NOT go to it. do NOT "drop by."

    ahehehe. nice post momel, yet again.

    you realize that your last 3 posts were basically people-bashing. ang saya. that's right, get it out of your system.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is why I cut down my links :) Konti na nga lang, binawasan ko pa! hehe

    I don't entertain link exchange anymore kasi I'm happy with the list of blog friends that I have. If there are those who visit often or those with interesting blogs, I link them kahit na they don't link me back. You're so right in saying that it's better to keep a short list na parang family. I feel that way to those in my list. I make sure I visit often.

    And for all it's worth, I love coming back here!

    Happy week to you, Momel! Take care always! :)

    P.S. Yay! Akala ko R-18 itong post mo coz of the title, harhar ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. well @ Yey

    Would you believe that I was just checking which of my friends here in the list are still present? He hee, that might be a roll call of sorts, but I'm glad you're still here all the same.

    I'm updating my links.

    Cheers!

    ah ha! @ John

    So I AM bashing people with my last three posts! Hey, thanks for pointing that out. No, really, I wasn't aware of that.

    Cheers!

    He hee @ Sasha

    Glad you liked it. "Glad-der" that you're in my list. Muah!

    Cheers ulit everybody!

    ReplyDelete
  13. nice words! nice thoughts! ahaha.. those compliments makes me wonder, do i really fascinate my readers? or they just trying to make me feel flattered.

    but seriously, you had very well written this one! and those compliments are really meant for you!

    my list are getting longer and longer..nawiwindang na nga ako. how the hell can i go over all those stuffs? but i'm just returning a favor. they linked me.

    there was one time i decided not to entertain new bloggers anymore. i'm afraid i can't handle them all! then, i realized i may also miss the opportunities to meet other interesting people. and as you said not all bloggers are boring. if you only try to return. (binasa ko ung related post) they always had some thoughts also useful for others just as this one.

    i just hate demanding guys.. alam mo un, kelangan nilink mo talaga sila. kaya lang tulad ng sabi mo, be polite.

    traffic? statistics? the hell i care,they're just numbers. what's really important for me is the people who visits. the "true, concerned" individuals. even if there's just few of them.

    lastly, would i ask the permission to stay in your blogroll? eheheh! ^-^

    ReplyDelete
  14. wow @ lojikaaaa

    Now THAT was long, and well-appreciated! That meant a lot coming from one of the most active bloggers on my roll.

    We've been doiing this blogging thing for quite some time now, and we both have learned the importance of keeping only the people that count.

    Yes Lojika, I'll be more than happy to keep you in my list. I'm going to do some updating, and my roll will be refreshed in a couple of days now.

    I heart heart you all. Cheers!

    MUAH!

    ReplyDelete
  15. ay. buti i made it in a nick of time.

    *hingal.

    sama ako, ha, momel? engkasi HINDI KO ALAM GAGAWIN KO KAPAG ako nag-disappear sa makasaysayang blogroll na iyan.

    ako ren, balak mag-walis nang blogroll.

    tsupi sa mga impakto..!

    ReplyDelete
  16. nililinaw ko lang. ako REN si erik. at si bernard. at si adrian.

    *bow.

    __________

    kakapagod tumakbo. at magpapalit-palit nang identity.

    *sly smile.

    ReplyDelete
  17. OO NAMAN! @erik or bernard or adrian.

    Basta yung may Madtalk na identifier. Whoever you are, you're here to stay. I heart you as Erik, though.

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  18. i once thought that grocery shopping was better than the family thing too. that was when i dreamt of becoming a blog superstar.

    this lines hit me: Looking back, you realize that everybody needs to start somewhere. Just like you did. sobrang sakto to.

    but i think it's really not about how or where you started, it's how you changed after that.

    kudos momel. :]

    ReplyDelete
  19. o sige, erik na kung erik.

    i love you din.

    ...and isn't it wonderful, loving, finally?

    ___________

    sorry. unrelated sa topic mo. still..

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your greatness come from within. You're one of the few pinoy bloggers that has depth and humor. I love your story on the PLDT telemarketer. LOVE IT. Keep it up. You can count on me with or without the oral sex. (although I guess you'd know which one I prefer ;);))

    ReplyDelete
  21. the question is, do you blog to be read or to express your thoughts? comments would not be important if you care abou the latter.

    ReplyDelete
  22. And you're here ulit! @ Ie

    Blogging tends to do something to you if you've been doing that for some time now. Yeah, I guess it does change you a little. I was hoping to disagree, pero I differ.

    Ayun! @Erik

    Erik na talaga! And yes, it IS the most wonderful thing.

    Wow! @ Marl

    You make me feel so like Jedi with that warm warm greatness within punchline. I love it. Seriously. Let me give you a big hug in binary code.

    :)

    You remember the PLDT telemarketer post? You actually read it? WOW!

    Abssss,

    I blog so other people can enjoy my writings. I think they do. It's both things: I express my thoughts, and at the same time, I want people to have fun reading the prime shit I offer in my side of the internet. Thanks for pointing that out, though.

    ReplyDelete
  23. i'm just dropping by

    :-P

    ReplyDelete
  24. hala ka!

    Thanks for dropping by @ Idol!

    Honga, I miss the lolo days.

    Cheers pa rin!

    ReplyDelete

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