What We Talk About with My Android Friends

**And by "Androids," I mean my biologically male beloveds who have achieved such amazing augmentations to their, and I use this term apologetically, to their "masculine" forms. One of them still argues, to this day, that giving birth will soon be transferable. I'm still arguing against that. 

Notice how that first line was a murder of modifiers? 

1. Where this or that's nose was stitched.

2. Surgery aftercare and precautions. I learned that recovering from a rhinoplasty can be a terrible thing for heavy smokers who just can't stop.

3. Who's the best nose doctor in Manila?

4. Sidewalk stalls in the Emirates that offer walk in surgery.

5. Cup size, butt size, and how much collagen or silicone or tire black these add ons received.

6. Where this or that's silicone implants were injected. And where it hurts more.

7. Hotel rates.

8. Asian currencies and their peso equivalent.

9. Double condoms as a safety precaution.

10. The inconvenience of sharing a hotel room most especially when one or the other has a paying guest.

11. The life-and-death-ness of flushing drugs in the toilet bowl. Most especially in a foreign country where the general population speaks Mandarin. And tonight's high-paying pangyao has this habit.

12. Hoarding female hormones, oral collagen, injectable glutathione, and has anyone mentioned liver damage yet? Nope.

13. Forehead contours.

14. The aging androids mention "Minoxidil" quite often.

15. Her being bailed out of this Singaporean prison because of her legendary beauty is really an urban legend. The truth is that she plead guilty, and then they lowered her sentence. But they allowed her, and her alone, to continue taking her female hormones behind bars.

16. Pictorials for their profiles in that ladyboy website.

17. I heard she was sore for weeks after she got her brand new, fully functional vagina. They were whispering that she didn't have to take a psychological exam prior to her sexual reassignment surgery.

18. If you want to know what a sexually reassigned vagina looks like, then you might want to read  Close Encounters with the Vagina-ed Type.

19. I wrote Close Encounters with the Vagina-ed Type in October 2010. And I can still see what it looks like with unnerving vividness.

20. He was chatting with me from inside a closet because his roommate had a paying client. This gives him peephole access to the perfect intercourse between business and pleasure.