1. Won't somebody please designate a special booth for people who have no clue as to which end of their ATM goes into the machine? The least they could do is to include Basic ATM Training before they introduce the principles of burger flipping or canned-good bagging or making change.
2. I know long lines are a drag, but seriously, won't you guys limit your ATM Entourage to at least two people? And mind you, this includes yourself. I understand that the thought of maxing out your ATMs only to have your 800 pesos taken at knife point's something to cry over; your unemployed friends make you feel safe. But help us people at the back by lowering our expectations. Clear up space. Help us keep track, would you?
3. Why are the sneakier looking social climbers always the ones with at least three ATM cards? And why do they keep the PINs for those cards written in some piece of paper? And why are they always maxing out their withdrawals? For all three cards? And why are... ohhh.
4. We might be sharing the same queue, but our monthly salaries are a different story. So don't look back at us with that disappointed "How come?" look in your eyes as the machine screams "Insufficient Funds" with your most recent transaction. That laughable gesture's lost its point as we, in the back, don't really care. Life moves on, like this line ought to be doing.
And besides, that sense of indignation feels soo fake.
5. Please stop displaying your brand new ATM card at us. That makes you look so cheap.
6. If the machine's an actual booth with a door, and you're next in line, be courteous enough to let the person ahead of you exit first before letting yourself in. That's common courtesy, and there's no buying that. Much like common sense, when there's only one line, and you go on ahead cramping my style with your "Is this the pila (line/queue) for the ATM ba?"
7. Yes, that machine's smarter than you, and believe it or not, you're already down to your maintaining balance. So stop asking "Are you sure???" with that second balance inquiry in a row. Yes, it's sure.
I know this has nothing to do with these ATM imps but I have been thinking for about five minutes now and I couldn't think of anything to add to your list, so let me just show you this because this reminded me of you as soon as I read the title:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.whatsonshenzhen.com/news-691-brazilian-boy-16-dies-after-masturbating-42-times-without-stopping.html
Go read, Momel. Haha. :p
#8. In denser queues, just because my "endowments" are a sight to behold even when un-stimulated, doesn't mean you have to sleazily bump to or, grind your uhm, der·ri·ère on it...unless you're that drop-dead gorgeous, in which case, you better have enough cash for a qui...Oops, my bad...LOL!
ReplyDeleteIt's one of my pet peeve, I hate people bringing their GROUP OF FRIENDS, while getting cash from ATM, as if they're gonna watch a movie or something. It doesn't make sense... =)
ReplyDeleteahahaha. taray pero funny as usual! oh mellie. it's all about location location location. pull out your dough in places peppered with people from the same income bracket as yours. mali pala ako. demographics, demographics, demographic! ahaha in short iwas ka sa mga majijirap na social climber!
ReplyDeletebituin
Most of these thoughts would've never crossed my mind, haha. And really, people actually display their brand new ATM cards? Haha.
ReplyDeletei didn't know that some people brag their debit cards. and what's up with the entourage? i look forward to seeing one :)
ReplyDeletehmmm...What I don't like is someone obviously from a lending institution taking his own sweet time withdrawing from ten or so ATM accounts. I raise hell when this happens. Banks should have a rule that prevents a person from withdrawing thrice in a row using a different ATM card each time. Kung galing sa isang account lang tapos na max out mo na ang withdrawal amount for one transaction, that's understandable. But knowing these lenders are withdrawing small amounts lang naman tapos ang dami pang ATM cards, arrrggggh!
ReplyDeleteAnd it also annoys the hell out of me when I am using the ATM and the one next to me is too close enough for him to see how much money I have in my account. Leche. I remember telling off a guy for doing this, and he had the gall to tell me he wasn't doing anything bad. A lot of Pinoys are so guilty of this, especially in ATMs situated in malls. :(
wala naman akong problema except dun sa mga parang tanga at matagal mag widraw.
ReplyDeletelol
This reminds me of the time my sister and I were waiting for this simpleton to finish her transaction. She kept ejecting her card and then putting it back in and then ejecting it again. She took close to ten seconds per menu item and so I was like gawsh, i know. let's learn how to read through this magical doohickey. I took comfort in the fact that the machine was enclosed in glass but then as she left, the lady shot us these really fierce dagger looks.
ReplyDeleteSo my sister enters the booth. I stayed behind. I wondered if the glass partition was doing its thing so I asked her if she could hear me.
Loud and clear she says. chaka
Mahh gaddd Momel!! You're sooo anti-poor!!!!! Hahahahaaha
ReplyDeleteAside from anti-stupid. Anyway, I hope you're doing well. =) Ano? Magkikita ba tayo?
Fistful -- I'm sorry, what? You lost me at "endowments." Hah!
ReplyDeleteJM -- You know how nice poor people are to their unemployed friends. They're tight like that, yow.
Amiga Bryan -- Do you still remember this post, amiga? This will be a trend... I will be updating my mostly ignored posts from this point on. Coverage coverage coverage! Of course, I will still do fresh posts from time to time. Like the next one.
Brian -- You should try to keep an eye out. You have no idea what kind of things you'll poke fun at. This same tip goes out to you, too, Lei Only it's flash as opposed to brag.
Kaye -- Ohh, so that's what it is! Lending institutions! How very third world, noh? Anyway, I do have the same bone to pick with people who have issues with personal space as far as these ATM queues go. Only I tell them to back off, please. Hah!
Cheese -- That makes two of us. That's the first point, really.
Nyl -- Haha, what a clueless bitch! You are! Ahaha, I heart it though.
Kane -- Not necessarily, pogi. I just like to make fun of them. Most of my better friends aren't so well off, anyway, but I like them just the same.
Delay muna yang pagkikita natin na yan, Pogi. Marami akong... distractions eh. Hehe. And I have skin to fill. Hah!
Cheers Fistful, JM, Amiga, Brian, Lei, Kaye, Cheese, Nyl, and Kane! Pant... pant... Mabuhay Kayoooo! Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!
Pujayjay -- Ahaha, I have employment for that article. My thanks in your general direction!
ReplyDeleteMuahness from Pasig Cirehhh!
Nah, cute doesn't work, ugh! :D
ReplyDeleteThis is what I love about you, Momel - you can always smell the bullshit.
ReplyDelete" That sense of indignation is so fake. "
*snort*
I didn't know people had this to be pretentious about, too.
Whatever... live and let live, I guess. I react the same way to people who move away from home and start posting pictures of their tvs, their shoes, and every frap they have at Starbucks. Ooh, fancy.
Tell me, what is the point of having 3 different checking accounts & ATM cards anyway?
how you manage to sift through all the shit that surrounds such a seemingly banal topic as atm cash dispensing and dishing it out to readers with crisp diction is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteyou never fail to amaze me, momel. XD
Fistful -- I don't get it. Were you trying to be cute? Ahaha!
ReplyDeleteSitting Pretty -- The Third World is it's own pandora's box of amazing stupid things. You learn things like that after thirty one years of living in this dump country. Although I love love some of the population. They are brown and dear to my heart.
Birthday Boy na Lover Boy pa? -- Like I said, long lines give you good ideas. And you are so fucking with me, well you know what I mean, with the amaze me bullshit.
Happy Birthday!
Cheers Fistful, Sitting Pretty, and Loverboy L! Mabuhay Kayoo! Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!
good news, me neither... bahaha!!!
ReplyDelete