Tuesday, March 08, 2011

The First Joyful Mystery is Brought to You By

I don't usually share much as far as the goings-on of my offline life go. But when I do, I make it a point to share something that's worth the time and trouble. In my personal estimation, the most boring story is something that's loaded with the pronouns "I, Me, and My," and if it can't be funny or scandalous, then it's not worth reading or listening to. If its all about you, and we know you're a total bore right off the bat, then it's not worth reading or listening to. If it hasn't got the words "tattoos, writing, second hand books, big dicks, horror, fellatio, sodomy, minors" anywhere in its entirety, then I will roll my eyes, give you the finger in secret, walk away and find time to masturbate instead.

So I'll keep my mouth shush on the Bolinao trip. It was lovely, and it was most enjoyed, and it was a pleasant trouble to my liver, but that's mostly the long and short of it, so I'll stop here. There isn't much to report, although there was this one time in the van. We agreed that it was driven by somebody with a deathwish, and we decided to pray the rosary on our return trip to Manila. Now, the last time I did the rosary was in Grade Six, and that was a few decades back, so you'd understand if I can't figure it out. I was going to do the First Joyful Mystery, and I was like "The First Joyful Mystery is brought to you by Jollibee. Bida ang Saya."

That was an honest mistake, mind you. But it was the second heartiest laugh I had on that trip. The first one was when I saw this version of the movie 300, and it was in Ilocano, and it totally killed me.

I am fresh from a wonderful trip, and I am as fresh out of ideas. But the First Joyful Mystery gave me something to chew on. Ad Jingles, that's what, and if you darling punks can figure out what these Jingles are endorsing, then I'll give you a... a... I'll give you a...

1. Clue: Frozen Good
"It's not easy to be a nugget
You look like all nuggets do
They don't know what really matters
Is what's inside of you
I'm a ______ _______ nugget
More chicken under my shell
A chunky,
Chicken delight
In every nugget bite!"

2. Clue: Breakfast
"Great things start from small beginnings…
Growing up with Olympic energy,
Growing up with ____,
____, ____ everyday"

3. Clue: Rachel Lobangco
"Sssh-boom Sssh-boom"
"Shhboom, Shh Boom….
yadadadadadada, Shh Boom Shh Boom..
yadadadadadada, Shh Boom"

4. Clue: Francis Magalona
"Katarungan, ito ang gusto ko
kalayaan, ito ang gusto ko
Kapayapaan, ito ang gusto ko
karapatan pang tao, ito ang gusto ko
kalikasan, ito ang gusto ko
kabataaan, ito ang gusto ko
kaibigan, ito ang gusto ko"

5. Clue: Bathroom
"Did you hear? (Oh, c'mon)
I don't believe it
It can't be true…
I can feel it, oh yeah, I feel it,
It really works, you better believe it…
I can feel it!"

6. Clue: It makes a rainbow.
"You wanna see what happens in a bag of ____?
What goes on before they touch my lips?
They make a rainbow…(chocolate ____)
A choco rainbow…(chocolate ____)
And then they color all the flowers and they paint the trees
They're sweet and delicious, look at all those bees
When I want fun, I get a bag of ____
And make a rainbow
(____, ____)…"

7. Clue: Polish
"_______, _______…
The secret of beauty is in your hands,
_______, _______,
Your beauty shines with _______."

8. Clue: 80s
"____, ______ _____,
Ang wallet na masuwerte,
Balat nito ay genuine
International pa ang mga design
Ang wallet na masuwerte
____, ______ _____."

My next post will be about big dicks. And it will be a mouthful.


  1. That cat is adorable. Yes, I recently forced myself to be a cat person because two of the most beautiful people I see almost everywhere love cats. Jesse Eisenberg and James Franco. I know, it doesn't have anything to do with what you wrote, I just thought it would help me be more of a cat person. Then in my screwed, wicked, fantasies Jesse, James, and I would have something in common aside from adorable-ness.

    Napamura ako sabay lakas tawa sa Jollibee, Bida ang Saya! Joyful nga naman. Bwahahahaha.

    Just the other day I was browsing for some funny Atheist stuff over the internet and I was amazed by how witty these people are. Most of what they came up with are potentially offensive for most Christians, even for those who do not even know what the mysteries or whatever in the rosary. Here's one that I find very funny on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=239295000914&set=a.239294155914.181547.90797465914

    1. Magnolia Chicken Nugget? I'm guessing. :p
    2. MILO!
    3. Huh?
    4. Royal Tru Orange!
    5. Dildos?
    6. Nips!
    7. No idea
    8. Seiko! Ata. Haha. Last week nisesearch namen yan sa youtube. Tas exaggerated ata ang pagsabe ng maSUwerte. :P

    Welcome back Momel!

  2. You return with a vengeance. Leave it to Momel's irreverent and uncompromising humor to suck the seriousness out of any situation. Looks like the trip did you good. Really good. ;)

  3. shiboom shiboom lalallalalalala shiboom shiboom...

    KOKAK! ahahahaha

    im waiting for the big fat long hard dicks!

    gusto ko lang namang malaman kung nasargo ka sa Bolinao hihihihi

  4. hayuf sa misteryo...ahahaha! napaganito ako Khie,hihihihi sabay takip ng bibig!

    1- dickie..dickie!
    2- MILO..alam na alam ko yan!!
    3- San Mig ba ito??
    4- Yoral tru owange!
    5- Joy tissue??
    6- Nips??
    7- Caronia??
    8- Seiko!!

    ahahaha parang test..sinagutan ko talaga lahat!!

    miswa khie!! kahit na zero sa Bolinao okay lang yun nabusog naman ang atay mo...

  5. Wow!

    Vajayjay -- I have to do some research on Cats and Dogs people. Personalities shit; there is some psychology to be had. Yeah, I laughed at myself for that honest slip, and it was an absolute comfort to my liver. I know what you're talking about, with the witty atheism. I was stealing jpegs off the internet when I saw all these comic attempts at deboning religion. These people are funny wicked!

    You got five right, Vajayjay.

    Red -- Hehee, you think? Thank you! And thanks for keeping me company then. It was fun in its own, uninterested way.

    YJ -- Ay fren, zero balance. Truth!

    Powkie -- Kahit ako naloka sa sarili ko eh! Ahaha!

    You got six right, fren Himhay. See you pagbalik mo rito!

    Cheers Vajayjay, Red, YJ and Powkie! Mabuhay Kayo! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  6. OMG! Did you actually said that "brought to you by Jollibee?" haha. I wonder how people reacted haha!Certainly you had a joyful trip haha!



    panalo ka talaga!

    you made me LOL so hard I have to go to the rest room just to laugh my heart out.

  8. Haven't read the comments lest somebody else beat me to the trivia. haha!

    my answers:

    1. Purefoods chicken nuggets
    2. Milo
    3. San Miguel Beer
    4. Royal Tru-Orange
    5. Palmolive soap?
    6. Nips
    7. Caronia
    8. At ang pinakapaborito ng lahat: Seiko wallet (balat nito ay ginyuwaynnnn!)

    I was half hoping you'd include YC Bikini briefs and nano (nano, nano, nano, nano, nano...oh nano nano, you make me crazy, I really love what you do to me. sweet, sour and salty...)

    hay. you just brought me back to those good ole days...which made me realize, how awfully old I am. hahaha!

    glad to know you had an awesome time in bolinao. =)

  9. hahahaha, funniness!

    ano to, reliving the past? isdatchu, nostalgic momel?

    kumain nga tayo ng pinakamasarap na palabok at halu-halo sa may pasig market (where nearby once stood a huge octopus - perfect for umbrella-less people on a rainy day!)

  10. Wow so you went to my hometown. I hope you got fucked in the Enchanted Cave like YJ did. Hahahaha jk.

    2. Milo!
    4. Royal Tru-Orange!



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