Monday, October 25, 2010

Breastfeeding in Cabs, Part Three -- How Would You Faggots Like It?

**And so, ladies and gentlemen, the homo is inflamed.
**My last post was about vaginas, so this post makes sense.

My mouth started watering when I heard those sucking sounds from that little breastfeeding shit a foot away from me in that FX (poor man's cab). And that bothered me, because fags like me don't get worked up over such trivial nonsense like, of all things, sucking sounds. Sucking sounds are me working my delightful black magic. Tch...Tch...Tch...Tch... I'm used to it, but I subscribe to an entirely different octave of sucking sounds. Sure, cocksu... fellatio maybe in the same range to the untrained ear; one almost cannot distinguish the sounds made by sucking on a nipple from the sounds made by sucking on a cock, but if you must listen closely (haha)...

I used the phrase "sucking sounds' four times in that preceding paragraph.

But, in spite of that, I'm remaining confident with my sexual preference, my deviation so to speak, and all its unearthly however worldly abominations notwithstanding. Because I'm gayer than you.

(Bitchfit in three... two... one...)

Because I'm gayer than you, waay gayer than you and that effeminate shit with those skinny jeans and pointy white leather shoes that you refer to as your "special friend." I'm soo gayer than you two, and your Starbucks eyeball, and the ladies medium shirt that you wear with military discipline, and that funny Bench Fix crew cut, and that secret proficiency in Swardspeak that you practice with your fag hags, one of which poses as your girlfriend, if I might add, and that gym membership too. I'm gayer than all that, combined, and then still have enough homo in me to import to Iran or somewhere.

Throw in your cock-smelling breath while you're at it, and I'm STILL the gay cup that overfloweth.

(End of bitchfit)

So you'd understand how bothered I got when my mouth started watering in response to all that breastfeeding. In a motherfucking cab. It doesn't really matter where it happened. But what gets my panties in a bunch was when I was suddenly, and for no real reason, worked up over the insane sucking sound that kid made to the comfort of her very liver. It suckled, and it suckled, and it suckled, and it was rhythmic, and wet, and it seemed to go on forever.

It drove me nuts, I'm telling you, until I couldn't take none of all this suddenly gruesome pressure. So I took out my dark blue work jacket, covered my head in it as if I'm trying to sleep, and then swallowed my excess saliva. All of it.

And there were lots of it, I could have drowned in my own throat. And nobody would have noticed because I was faking sleep.

No, I didn't get an erection, oh Thank You Lord, but I was all too freaking disoriented all the same. I was thinking about it all the way home, too. Maybe I was a closet-king all along, but I dismissed that nonsense in a heartbeat the moment I got home to my fucking live-in lover J.


  1. KhieKhie eh anong kasunod na nangyari pagkauwi mo ng bahay??? kwento na! ahahaha

    suck..suck..suck din ba? hihihihi

  2. Hahaha natawa ako sa comment ni Ate Powkie, mainly kasi yun din sana ang sasabihin ko! Baka hindi suck suck suck kundi blow blow blow hahaha

  3. apir tayo Glen!!!

    at talagang nagbalik pa ako at baka may kwento ng kasunod...ahahaha adik lang!

  4. Ahaha! @ Glen and Pokwang

    Uragon minds think alike talaga! Gustuhin ko mang bigyan kayo ng blow by blow eh walang ganung pangyayaring naganap. Ang totoo niyan eh magi-isang taon na kaming walang iyot. Naturingang mag live in kami.

    Anlungkot noh!

  5. Isang taon!?!?! Putangina naman yan! (makareact lang). I'm done with your book!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. OA noh? Pero promise, tinuod yan. Ay oo, sige tago mo lang muna yan Glen. Sabihin ko na lang kung kelan ko kunin!

  7. I love how you referred to an FX as a poor man's cab! That kind of tells me what my social status is. Pobre! Hoho.

    Seriously? Sucking nipples (and cocks) make sounds? Never observed those on the porns I watched before! I should turn the volume up next time, with the risk of my mom hearing the moans and all. :p

  8. Alam mo yung song na Origin of Love? Baka naman na-REawaken lang ang iyong masculine half kaya ganon ang reaksyon mo. Heehee. Just thinking aloud. :D

  9. dibee7:45 PM

    I like your blog :-)

  10. My lovelife's going to hell in a handbasket. I apologize for the delay y'alls guys.

    It's a tie! @ Vajarl

    I just love calling it that, because it is. And yeah, there are very distinct sounds to be heard in those two lovely acts. He hee, I solemnly swear.

    Aw @ Siratalaga

    I'd far rather have it asleep; I don't have any employment for its awakening. I kick ass as a homo! Wahaha!

    Uy @ Dibee

    From Madame JZaf's blog, noh? You're finally here! Thanks for dropping by! Am positively thrilled to have you here!

    Just so you guys know, Dibee and I have won half a dozen of those LitWit Challenges between the two of us. He (or she) rocks.

  11. awwww isang taon??? kakalungkot naman=( at isa pang awwww para sa lablyf...lika nga hug kita ng mahigpit...walang pagnanasa ha! hihihi

    kaya mo yan Khie! cheer up!!!

  12. =( Pokwang

    Salamas sa hug teh, anlakas maka-rakenrol nun. Feeling ko kaya nagkakaganito lovelife ko dahil siguro sa isang taong walang iyot. Kakalungkot nga eh. Kahapon bumili ako ng Greatest Hits ni Regine, pampa-kalma ba, pero lalo akong nadale nung kinanta ni Songbird yung "Hang On" ni Gary Valenciano.


    Wah, salamat sa hug teh. Kina-klaro ko lang ang mga pangyayari, medio magulo tong October sa min. Katunayan nga niyan eh di pa ko umu-uwi sa apartment, dito ako sa bahay ng mga kapatid ko nagb-blog. Sana nga umayos, sayang naman ung four years. Hindi pala five years, four years pa lang pala.

    Ahaha, panindigan na yang Khie na yan! Muah!

  13. WAHAHAHAHA!!!! isang taon ka pano na lang ako? ahaha

    parang naririnig ko din tuloy yung dede..hahaha!



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