**Shit, and the poor little thing has got Wifi, too!
I think their ultimate heartthrob is well endowed. With this boner that ultimately throbs itself into a fierce erection. That stands at attention towards the masculine delectability of another potential heartthrob. Who may or may not mind the unexpected attention. Because they've been masturbating a lot in the closet. And they need some action, Now!, because their perspiration smells like mothballs. But I could be wrong. Wait until I upgrade my gaydar. And I'll even name names. Or at least I could give them some lame pseudonyms like "The Ultimate!" Ultimate Power Bottom, that is. At least there's still something ultimate about them.
And there you go.