Schedule Your Motherfucking Posts, You Goddamn Lazy-Ass Bloggers!

**This is a scheduled post. I wrote this post on 11/10/2008, and scheduled to have it detonate nine days later, on 11/19/2008. See, there are two other scheduled posts in between, and it's never been as convenient. Oh and the title's riddled with typos. Sorry about that. I mean, can you believe how the letters are spaced in this goddamn keyboard?

We are usually met with the dreaded writer's block that steals our thunder and rains on our parade. It's a storm with teeth. And there is hell to pay when it takes that first gnashing bite at your creative economy; you will be left freezing in its cruel torrents of mindless distraction. It will take time, days, weeks even for its unmerciful bouts to subside, and even that little mercy is barren of expectation. You shudder as you wait for the warm rays of inspiration to shine and pierce the receding storm clouds that is writer's block. And so I tell you this: read on, bitch, because I will show you how you can take advantage of those rare days when your creative cup will overfloweth.

There is a neat trick you can do with Blogger. It's called scheduling. And the idea here is to create as many coherent posts you can think of in one sitting, and then publish them separately at specified future dates. Underscore specified, encircle future dates; hell, it's a fucking subject verb agreement. You will be scheduling your posts like your bowel movement. Writers (and yes, that includes us bloggers) aren't always as inspired as they expect to be on account of the creative muse is a bitch who keeps her mobile phone off.

Here's how you conquer the "block," and as a consequence, how you can spare yourself the trouble of posting an excuse for not blogging.

1. Write a post.
2. Schedule your post.
3. And then wait. 4. And then wait some more.