**Or Living the Brown Trash Life
If you thought I was exercising the bad habit of procrastination with religious fervor, you're almost there. See, I have been very diligent with the following thoughts and addictions. I was too preoccupied with nonsense, it's hardly even good for me. But it kept me dangerously entertained.
1.Oh sweet merciful Jesus, I don't know why I'm so eager in having another one. Another tattoo, I mean. Is it the pain that comes along with this beautiful piece of skin art? Needles breaking into your skin at the rate of 5 per second is a lovely kind of pain, the likes of which I would never have imagined had I not the nerve to succumb to my desire to impress. Which leads me to why I had one in the first place. Basically everybody asks the same question, why did you have it in the first place. That of course follows the annoying question if it's real to begin with. Well, my common rebuttal to the same inquiries basically begin with "gusto ko lang," and ends with a period. I mean, what is there to explain?
For some reason, it has always been something that I wanted. My first tattoo was a chinese character, stands for the word "Passion." And I had it on the understanding that if I couldn't have passion in my body, then I might as well have it on my skin. Either way, I might as well start believing that I am passionate after the beautiful ink starts becoming permanent.
2.One of the reasons why I wasn't able to write as much as I used to was that I have my hands full. Full on my PS2 analog controller, that is. See, I have discovered the most wonderful turn-based strategy RPG ever, and it's what eating me as of the late. The late nights, that is, and all I'm thinking of these past few weeks are character stats and transmigrations, ranks, level ups, and legendary swords. It might be greek to some of you all, but to those of us well versed in the language of role playing games, it might as well be one of the most interesting adventures in a dvd. In case you're wondering, this particular addiction's called Disgaea, published by Nippon, and I'm looking forward to burning another 125 hours or so.
Here's something interesting: Did you know that addiction to video games is a factual ground for divorce in the states? That's something I gathered from a friend who works in Vegas, and though there were no statistics present upon disclosure, who gives head anyway? Bottomline is, video games are an addiction that are factual grounds for divorce. And it happens.
3.And I've started returning to my happy hell in San Nicolas, Pasig, the most endearing SnB pool hall. I have been so busy with work these past few months, hell maybe even years, that I realized I've been missing out on some very good people that I'm growing up with. But then, they're not the reason why I resigned in the first place. See, if this gave you the impression that I'm too much of a friend to give up my source of income just to hang around, you're dead wrong. You know I'm just too sexy for my hat for that since it's the other way around. Resigning from the ridiculously lucrative job of telemarketing simply gave me more time to catch up with some of the finest people around. Maybe not to any of you, but then, you wouldn't know anyway. You were never around these past four years to know better.
Recently, I'm trying to juggle my sweet time in between video games, pool, and a tattoo obsession. And I'm also trying to update this blog from time to time, and then work on stuff here and there. Like maybe get a new job or something. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I still entertain thoughts of getting fresh in a new working environment, but brown trash like myself tend to confuse my priorities with one another. Do I call in to have a tattoo scheduled, or do I call potential employers and ask about job openings? Do I level up a character, or do I further polish my resume? Basically, they both sound the same to me, but the question regarding which appears to be more entertaining is an entirely different matter altogether. I'm not saying that going out and finding a job isn't a delightful past time, but it's something that needs to be done, a strict reinforcement of the line "acting your age." Hell, it's not even proper to compare the pros and cons of these independent efforts; there is always the general "right" thing to consider. But who gives a fuck?
Thing is, I'm thinking more like a bum and less like a well-meaning individual. Hell, I'm burning the midnight oil in between playing video games and going to the pool hall. What other validation do I need?
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Friday, February 25, 2005
Trying Hard to Slang
**I don't know if this is supposed to be funny or just plainly cruel.
One of the many things that kept me busy this month was this week-long training course in American Accent. I took it with the idea that a certificate in my resume would increase the size of my balls to near-implosion, and though I don't really need to enroll to validate my speaking skills, it would be fun to show off. Basically, I was there to get certified and to look nice, but I really had no idea what I would realize in the long run.
There were about eight of us in our training batch, and like they always do, we started the session with a brief introduction of ourselves. I spoke last, but before I was able to deliver my verbal handshake, I was bombarded with enough inconsistencies to leave me speechless for a while.
We haven't started training yet, so the obvious absence of the American accent was forgivable, but the tragedy doesn't begin there. We have a situation regarding their understanding of English, and believe me when I'm trying hard to make a sufficiently condescending understatement.
Underscore "sufficiently condescending..."
It was a five day training course, and I learned everything I needed to understand on Day One. Sure, I was able to pick up useful tips on how I can further improve, but everything else that I've come to understand was just simply disappointing. Don't get me wrong, the training program in itself deserves a tap on the back for it was just marvelous. But my co-trainees were, well, for lack of a better word, they were horribly _______.
I'm not usually this blunt when talking about people (har), but their understanding of the English language was sufficiently far from admirable. To say that they have a loose grip on the English language would be a morbid work of charity. I mean, the following lines from those _____ are simply dumbfounding, and hopefully will help you fill in the blanks. And understand that I was using a spell checker before posting this, so typographical errors are just plainly impossible.
"I'm not happy anymore with the depression things and the mind boggling stuff."
"I like to play basketball because of my camaraderie of my friends... my friends... that's it."
"I just sleep to relax my body, so instead of committing a sin, so I sleep."
"graft & corruptions"
"I understanding"
"As far as I know that you'd like me to tell you..."
Leonardo di Caprio and Kate Winslet's big unsinkable boat sank when it collided with this huge chunk of ice floating in the sea. Apparently, the ironic tragedy of the sinking unsinkable boat was engineered by but an insignificant part of this even bigger chunk of ice. Deliciously enough, this makes for a curious movie reference on account of my ______ co-trainees' initial defect pales in comparison when they actually tried speaking in an American tongue. Recall that this was an American Accent Training to begin with, and the main purpose of the program was to neutralize the Filipino in our English to give way to an American accent. And yes, they were wonderfully consistent with the wrong grammar all throughout. Surprisingly, more of those abovementioned quips were encountered along the way. Just when you thought they couldn't be any worse than that, they never failed to exceed themselves.
Turns out that their erroneous grammar was but soil on top of the mudpie. See, knowing how to speak in English is independent of speaking it with an Accent. And this was an entirely different can of worms as shown by the following scenarios:
"Now, pronounce the word apple with a schwa [ae]"
(a schwa sound [ae] basically is the trick to making it sound american)
[ae]pel (no, it's not [ae]pEl, it should be [ae]pple)
affel (what happened to your P's?)
[ae]ffel (were talking about a fruit here, not a tower in France)
[ae]pples (oh dear)
"So what's your favorite kind of food?"
(we heard answers like Japanese, American, and one German, but this one took time)
I like Filifino... (one f please)
I like Pilipino... (this is an American accent course, say it like an American!)
Filipino... (there you go), I like Filipino pood
"How do you describe the color red to a blind person?"
I will pocus on... (No, it's pronounced as fow-kis)
I will focus on... (again, it's fow-kis)
I will focused on... (something's wrong with your grammar, "I will fow-kis on...")
I will fow-kis on on my fersonal peelings
Stagnant is a word I haven't been using for a while now. And I kid you not when I'm telling you that I'm writing everything as they were spoken.
I asked these people why they attended this training course. Of course, the answer was obvious enough. They wanted to make it in the call center industry on the understanding that "learning" how to speak like an American would be a welcome benefit when they need to apply in any particular center. As a matter of fact, cross out "benefit" and change it to "asset" since they believed that they would have an edge after graduating from this week's worth of training. They were thinking that the certificate from this program would do them a lot of good. Not only would it look good on their resume, but it in a way makes them easy shoe-ins for any vacancy in this particular industry.
Well, that's stupid. See, learning how to speak English in a manner similar to those of Americans is different from being able to speak correct English. There's just no point in trying to speak with an accent when you're backing that up with absurd sentence constructions and infestations of grammatical flaws. Sure, Americans themselves are no different with the grammar, but then, you'll know what they are up front.
The thing is, why do you have to bother learning how to speak like an American when you can't even construct a sentence in fucking English? What damned good would that be? Why would you even bother buying yourself a goodlooking cue stick when you don't even know how to play pool? You can bop yourself silly on the head with that cue stick, but you'll gonna have to find some other ways to use it. Otherwise, it's just a pointless expense to begin with.
The idea that people just want to apply in call centers just proves to show that it indeed is a very established industry. Believe me, I'm talking out of personal experience. I've been there, and I was a happy witness to more than enough money than I deserve, a radical working environment for the chronically nocturnal, spiffs and incentives that'll make you forget about payday, and free coffee. I was even sent to a resort in Fontana to train, yes, to "train," and I got paid overtime to do that.
See, this particular industry does have a lot to offer. When you're in it, you basically have everything in your favor. It delivers a well-compensated position, unlimited avenues of learning, and a very charged working environment just to name a few.
However, as one unforgettable person used to say, this isn't a charitable institution. This is work, and they are simply justifying those benefits with a strict and arduous recruitment process. They need to make sure that they're hiring potential assets, manpower that has the talent and the skills to make the company perform good and look good at the same time. And like any organization bent on profit, they need to make sure that they're paying for their money's worth. Sadly enough, people who say things like "I understanding," "graft and corruptions," and "Filifino pood" just ain't their money's worth.
It's the sad truth. It's unfortunate, but this makes perfect sense. We all know that nobody would like to maintain liabilities in their organization. We buy pimple treatments because zits don't look good on us, and we'd prefer to eradicate them as soon as possible. At the same time, we make sure that our skin's clean enough to leave no space for such corruption.
But the thing is, it isn't for everybody. I really don't mean to break anybody's heart, but it isn't for everybody. Call me a cruel heartless bitch, but these _____ are basically "everybody."
I'm sorry if I had to be blunt.
One of the many things that kept me busy this month was this week-long training course in American Accent. I took it with the idea that a certificate in my resume would increase the size of my balls to near-implosion, and though I don't really need to enroll to validate my speaking skills, it would be fun to show off. Basically, I was there to get certified and to look nice, but I really had no idea what I would realize in the long run.
There were about eight of us in our training batch, and like they always do, we started the session with a brief introduction of ourselves. I spoke last, but before I was able to deliver my verbal handshake, I was bombarded with enough inconsistencies to leave me speechless for a while.
We haven't started training yet, so the obvious absence of the American accent was forgivable, but the tragedy doesn't begin there. We have a situation regarding their understanding of English, and believe me when I'm trying hard to make a sufficiently condescending understatement.
Underscore "sufficiently condescending..."
It was a five day training course, and I learned everything I needed to understand on Day One. Sure, I was able to pick up useful tips on how I can further improve, but everything else that I've come to understand was just simply disappointing. Don't get me wrong, the training program in itself deserves a tap on the back for it was just marvelous. But my co-trainees were, well, for lack of a better word, they were horribly _______.
I'm not usually this blunt when talking about people (har), but their understanding of the English language was sufficiently far from admirable. To say that they have a loose grip on the English language would be a morbid work of charity. I mean, the following lines from those _____ are simply dumbfounding, and hopefully will help you fill in the blanks. And understand that I was using a spell checker before posting this, so typographical errors are just plainly impossible.
"I'm not happy anymore with the depression things and the mind boggling stuff."
"I like to play basketball because of my camaraderie of my friends... my friends... that's it."
"I just sleep to relax my body, so instead of committing a sin, so I sleep."
"graft & corruptions"
"I understanding"
"As far as I know that you'd like me to tell you..."
Leonardo di Caprio and Kate Winslet's big unsinkable boat sank when it collided with this huge chunk of ice floating in the sea. Apparently, the ironic tragedy of the sinking unsinkable boat was engineered by but an insignificant part of this even bigger chunk of ice. Deliciously enough, this makes for a curious movie reference on account of my ______ co-trainees' initial defect pales in comparison when they actually tried speaking in an American tongue. Recall that this was an American Accent Training to begin with, and the main purpose of the program was to neutralize the Filipino in our English to give way to an American accent. And yes, they were wonderfully consistent with the wrong grammar all throughout. Surprisingly, more of those abovementioned quips were encountered along the way. Just when you thought they couldn't be any worse than that, they never failed to exceed themselves.
Turns out that their erroneous grammar was but soil on top of the mudpie. See, knowing how to speak in English is independent of speaking it with an Accent. And this was an entirely different can of worms as shown by the following scenarios:
"Now, pronounce the word apple with a schwa [ae]"
(a schwa sound [ae] basically is the trick to making it sound american)
[ae]pel (no, it's not [ae]pEl, it should be [ae]pple)
affel (what happened to your P's?)
[ae]ffel (were talking about a fruit here, not a tower in France)
[ae]pples (oh dear)
"So what's your favorite kind of food?"
(we heard answers like Japanese, American, and one German, but this one took time)
I like Filifino... (one f please)
I like Pilipino... (this is an American accent course, say it like an American!)
Filipino... (there you go), I like Filipino pood
"How do you describe the color red to a blind person?"
I will pocus on... (No, it's pronounced as fow-kis)
I will focus on... (again, it's fow-kis)
I will focused on... (something's wrong with your grammar, "I will fow-kis on...")
I will fow-kis on on my fersonal peelings
Stagnant is a word I haven't been using for a while now. And I kid you not when I'm telling you that I'm writing everything as they were spoken.
I asked these people why they attended this training course. Of course, the answer was obvious enough. They wanted to make it in the call center industry on the understanding that "learning" how to speak like an American would be a welcome benefit when they need to apply in any particular center. As a matter of fact, cross out "benefit" and change it to "asset" since they believed that they would have an edge after graduating from this week's worth of training. They were thinking that the certificate from this program would do them a lot of good. Not only would it look good on their resume, but it in a way makes them easy shoe-ins for any vacancy in this particular industry.
Well, that's stupid. See, learning how to speak English in a manner similar to those of Americans is different from being able to speak correct English. There's just no point in trying to speak with an accent when you're backing that up with absurd sentence constructions and infestations of grammatical flaws. Sure, Americans themselves are no different with the grammar, but then, you'll know what they are up front.
The thing is, why do you have to bother learning how to speak like an American when you can't even construct a sentence in fucking English? What damned good would that be? Why would you even bother buying yourself a goodlooking cue stick when you don't even know how to play pool? You can bop yourself silly on the head with that cue stick, but you'll gonna have to find some other ways to use it. Otherwise, it's just a pointless expense to begin with.
The idea that people just want to apply in call centers just proves to show that it indeed is a very established industry. Believe me, I'm talking out of personal experience. I've been there, and I was a happy witness to more than enough money than I deserve, a radical working environment for the chronically nocturnal, spiffs and incentives that'll make you forget about payday, and free coffee. I was even sent to a resort in Fontana to train, yes, to "train," and I got paid overtime to do that.
See, this particular industry does have a lot to offer. When you're in it, you basically have everything in your favor. It delivers a well-compensated position, unlimited avenues of learning, and a very charged working environment just to name a few.
However, as one unforgettable person used to say, this isn't a charitable institution. This is work, and they are simply justifying those benefits with a strict and arduous recruitment process. They need to make sure that they're hiring potential assets, manpower that has the talent and the skills to make the company perform good and look good at the same time. And like any organization bent on profit, they need to make sure that they're paying for their money's worth. Sadly enough, people who say things like "I understanding," "graft and corruptions," and "Filifino pood" just ain't their money's worth.
It's the sad truth. It's unfortunate, but this makes perfect sense. We all know that nobody would like to maintain liabilities in their organization. We buy pimple treatments because zits don't look good on us, and we'd prefer to eradicate them as soon as possible. At the same time, we make sure that our skin's clean enough to leave no space for such corruption.
But the thing is, it isn't for everybody. I really don't mean to break anybody's heart, but it isn't for everybody. Call me a cruel heartless bitch, but these _____ are basically "everybody."
I'm sorry if I had to be blunt.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
In Defense of Call Center Agents
** This was an article I wrote before as a response to this one halfwit I encountered in my Friendster network.Anyway, here's what he said:
"una sa lahat,, ayoko ng mahilig mageenglish!!! badtrip un!! lalo na pag paslang pa!! okay lang kung pabiro,, pero kung serioso?? naku!!!"
And here's what I said...
I've been in the call center industry for a year and six months now. Because of our target market is an english-speaking environment, and since we're speaking mostly with Americans during the 7.5 dialing hours of the shift, it's just natural if I, we, were to acquire a certain slang with the way we're speaking our American.
See, it's my profession, it's the job that I do, and I take it seriously. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to excel in this industry, starting off with the slanged tongue.
When people start disliking me for this acquired asset, it's either one of two things: maybe they failed Accent Training, or they just don't understand the near-necessity of speaking with a twang in this industry. I'm thinking it's more of the latter.
It takes a halfwit to start attacking the things they don't comprehend, and it takes a greater pail of phlegm to utterly despise this particular necessity. The one thing I really don't get with people of "white matter," (white matter is when the gray matter of the brain's gone so obsolete it faded) is that they have this amazing inclination to start hating, fearing, or maybe even groaning at things they don't understand.
Case in point: "una sa lahat,, ayoko ng mahilig mageenglish!!! badtrip un!! lalo na pag paslang pa!! okay lang kung pabiro,, pero kung serioso?? naku!!!"
This is from an actual description by one of the people here in my personal network in Friendster. I don't really know why this was posted, but I'm thinking that must be the SAME reason why I'm posting this short defense. I'm challenging whoever that was to read between the lines. I think that IF EVER the above statements (IN TAGALOG, previous paragraph) was directed to anybody in the same industry as I am, then here's your explanation:
"I am a call center agent, and I speak with Americans every single day in the work week. Americans are really not comfortable being pitched at by some 'Puerto Rican/Indian/whathaveyou,' and they tend to disagree with the sales pitch because 'they're not understanding' what we're saying. So, we try neutralizing our accents to sound less like 'Puerto Ricans/Indians/whathaveyous,' and we try to develop a certain accent for our personal well-beings as well as CSR's. If this rubs off in our daily 'kuwentuhans' with the people around us, don't even dare accusing us of being frustrated conversationalists or wannabe Caucasians. And if you're not comfortable hearing what we have to say with our acquired accents, it's not our fault, and I could never stress that enough."
If you're so beyond stupid you can't construct a sentence in English, let alone speak it okay, then put your finger out of my ass. It's not comfortable for either one of us. I'll start hating you not because you don't like the way we speak, but because you're starting to insist this particular dislike with an unnerving intensity. Yes, we are in the Philippines. And in this Tagalog-speaking community, there probably is no real reason in trying to speak in English with an accent to match. However, when your job depends on it, and your performance even more so, then you'll have no other choice but to learn. I really don't imagine that sick fuck to be able to reach this part of my article on account of all these straining sentences constructed in English, but I really would like to direct my point.
I would like to add something else to this, but I would prefer to adhere to the standards of diplomacy and refute the enchanting invitation to offend. Or to rephrase that in a manner which he would perfectly understand, "hindi bale na lang."
And in case you were wondering, I was writing this with a slang.
"una sa lahat,, ayoko ng mahilig mageenglish!!! badtrip un!! lalo na pag paslang pa!! okay lang kung pabiro,, pero kung serioso?? naku!!!"
And here's what I said...
I've been in the call center industry for a year and six months now. Because of our target market is an english-speaking environment, and since we're speaking mostly with Americans during the 7.5 dialing hours of the shift, it's just natural if I, we, were to acquire a certain slang with the way we're speaking our American.
See, it's my profession, it's the job that I do, and I take it seriously. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to excel in this industry, starting off with the slanged tongue.
When people start disliking me for this acquired asset, it's either one of two things: maybe they failed Accent Training, or they just don't understand the near-necessity of speaking with a twang in this industry. I'm thinking it's more of the latter.
It takes a halfwit to start attacking the things they don't comprehend, and it takes a greater pail of phlegm to utterly despise this particular necessity. The one thing I really don't get with people of "white matter," (white matter is when the gray matter of the brain's gone so obsolete it faded) is that they have this amazing inclination to start hating, fearing, or maybe even groaning at things they don't understand.
Case in point: "una sa lahat,, ayoko ng mahilig mageenglish!!! badtrip un!! lalo na pag paslang pa!! okay lang kung pabiro,, pero kung serioso?? naku!!!"
This is from an actual description by one of the people here in my personal network in Friendster. I don't really know why this was posted, but I'm thinking that must be the SAME reason why I'm posting this short defense. I'm challenging whoever that was to read between the lines. I think that IF EVER the above statements (IN TAGALOG, previous paragraph) was directed to anybody in the same industry as I am, then here's your explanation:
"I am a call center agent, and I speak with Americans every single day in the work week. Americans are really not comfortable being pitched at by some 'Puerto Rican/Indian/whathaveyou,' and they tend to disagree with the sales pitch because 'they're not understanding' what we're saying. So, we try neutralizing our accents to sound less like 'Puerto Ricans/Indians/whathaveyous,' and we try to develop a certain accent for our personal well-beings as well as CSR's. If this rubs off in our daily 'kuwentuhans' with the people around us, don't even dare accusing us of being frustrated conversationalists or wannabe Caucasians. And if you're not comfortable hearing what we have to say with our acquired accents, it's not our fault, and I could never stress that enough."
If you're so beyond stupid you can't construct a sentence in English, let alone speak it okay, then put your finger out of my ass. It's not comfortable for either one of us. I'll start hating you not because you don't like the way we speak, but because you're starting to insist this particular dislike with an unnerving intensity. Yes, we are in the Philippines. And in this Tagalog-speaking community, there probably is no real reason in trying to speak in English with an accent to match. However, when your job depends on it, and your performance even more so, then you'll have no other choice but to learn. I really don't imagine that sick fuck to be able to reach this part of my article on account of all these straining sentences constructed in English, but I really would like to direct my point.
I would like to add something else to this, but I would prefer to adhere to the standards of diplomacy and refute the enchanting invitation to offend. Or to rephrase that in a manner which he would perfectly understand, "hindi bale na lang."
And in case you were wondering, I was writing this with a slang.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Dear Moron
**The dude in question's a real person. Ain't he a pretty daisy, and he was also under attack in a previous post, so I guess that's two strikes for the dumbass.
Dear Moron,
Allow me to express my deepest sympathy over your acute inability to appreciate English. Your misguided attempts to take me down really inspires much hope, as nobody's ever done that before. To tell you the truth, it's just futile, just crack futile. However, don't stop yet since I'm not asking you to cease with the name-callings. In fact, I'm personally endorsing it. Maybe you'll get creative along the way, and I'll give you a tap on the back.
You know I'm all for mental growth and all that good jazz. Most especially in your case, only it's intesive care.
Yes, you were the same halfwit who denounced Filipinos speaking with a twang, with a slang, with an Americanized tongue. Goes without saying that I remember you well, on account of I know that I am the only one Filipino you heard speaking with a slang. Well, tough luck, I ain't leaving, and it just gets better now that you're attacking my writings with the same stoo-peed fervor.
No, I didn't spell that incorrectly. I did that on purpose. And if you happened to not notice that, my dear imbecile friend, then you really are surprising me beyond measure.
You hate me probably because you'll never get even half as smart as me. You might now know a lot of things, your being a moron basically, but consider yourself fortunate. You are enjoying such blissful stupidity. Though I ain't wishing the same luxuries you probably are enjoying right now, try not to poke us with your dumbstick.
I really have no idea what caused your ass to lose its alignment. But it would bless my poor soul if you'd manage, out of the kindness of your heart, to have someone kick the stupid off of you.
And by the way, if in any case you were selling me something, trust me on this one: I'll buy anything from you except the story that you're not gay.
Mel
P.S. Yes, our village is glad to have you as our idiot.
Dear Moron,
Allow me to express my deepest sympathy over your acute inability to appreciate English. Your misguided attempts to take me down really inspires much hope, as nobody's ever done that before. To tell you the truth, it's just futile, just crack futile. However, don't stop yet since I'm not asking you to cease with the name-callings. In fact, I'm personally endorsing it. Maybe you'll get creative along the way, and I'll give you a tap on the back.
You know I'm all for mental growth and all that good jazz. Most especially in your case, only it's intesive care.
Yes, you were the same halfwit who denounced Filipinos speaking with a twang, with a slang, with an Americanized tongue. Goes without saying that I remember you well, on account of I know that I am the only one Filipino you heard speaking with a slang. Well, tough luck, I ain't leaving, and it just gets better now that you're attacking my writings with the same stoo-peed fervor.
No, I didn't spell that incorrectly. I did that on purpose. And if you happened to not notice that, my dear imbecile friend, then you really are surprising me beyond measure.
You hate me probably because you'll never get even half as smart as me. You might now know a lot of things, your being a moron basically, but consider yourself fortunate. You are enjoying such blissful stupidity. Though I ain't wishing the same luxuries you probably are enjoying right now, try not to poke us with your dumbstick.
I really have no idea what caused your ass to lose its alignment. But it would bless my poor soul if you'd manage, out of the kindness of your heart, to have someone kick the stupid off of you.
And by the way, if in any case you were selling me something, trust me on this one: I'll buy anything from you except the story that you're not gay.
Mel
P.S. Yes, our village is glad to have you as our idiot.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
My Hate List
**This was something I started in 2000, when I have all the reason to hate. Back then, I used to think that this was going to be a growing list, but I stopped on number 35, and have been feeling better in one way or another. Maybe this was therapeutic, maybe I got tired of enumerating what I hate, or maybe I found out that the body count on the things I like just outweighed the number of things I hated. And since I've been using the word "maybe" too much in this introduction already, maybe you should try doing one of this too! See if it helps. 1. Groundless conceit.
2. Lack of purpose.
3. The sound of grinding teeth.
4. The sounds people make when they eat. Chewing, the singing soup, that of the tongue slapping furiously against the roof of the mouth, that of noodles getting sucked in between the lips, slurping. You can't help it? I understand. I mean, farm animals can't stop themselves either.
5. Disillusioned teenage philosophers. Angst isn't enough to make a philosopher out of you, and the hormone count hitting the roof doesn't give you an excuse. If I needed to hear something about love, it wouldn't be coming from you fools.
6. The assumed "depression syndrome" generally prevalent among minors.
7. Being out of place. I used to call it "involuntary displacement." Not to be confused with being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
8. Poverty. Always a bitch.
9. Pride, most especially when it's too large to swallow.
10. Having to wear wet socks.
11. Overacting... too much. Yes, overacting too much, and that's intentional.
12. Those
13. People who smile too much too often. Personally, I find them weird, so weird that getting away from them as much as possible is not just an option, it's a necessity.
14. RQI going out of business. It's this arcade I used to frequent during the heydays of Streetfighter Third Strike, Tekken 3, and DnD Shadows Over Mystara. I was
15. Discrimination of any friggin' sort.
16. Insecurities, be they mine or whosoever's.
17. Lack of self-acknowledgment.
18. Having no choice but to become subservient and necessarily polite to superiors who are not even half as smart as I am. Basically, it's working for halfwits and calling them "Boss."
19. People who insist that "they don't care" what other people think of them. Incidentally, they're the same hypocrites who horde beauty products in kilos, trying to impress the hell out of everybody else. And it's not just beauty products. See, they're also the same hopeless losers who try so friggin' hard to fit in. And yet, they really don't care what other people think of them.
20. Those who think they're cool when they really are not. I see them as these narcissistic fools destined to a lifetime of self-deception. Sad, but they don't seem to notice, being idiots so completely beyond a bitter reality check. But then, ignorance is bliss, it might even be cool at times, but these stupid kin are too busy social climbing to notice.
21. Lack of self-confidence. I mean, if you know you're not using the wrong deodorant, then there's just no reason for you to feel like you're inferior to someone or something.
22. Double dead grammar. Like "wrong mistake, false pretenses, IRregardless," and those who never even bothered to explain, much less correct, their flaws. Then again, rectification is wasted on idiots inasmuch as life is wasted on the living. Doug Adams is so right on the butt.
23. Those who think (re:THINK) they know too much. Yes, they might know a lot, but it's just buttloads of obsolete crap you wouldn't use in any practical scenario. So what if Jupiter has this much moons?
24. Chronic farting, smelly feet, halitosis, and dandruff ALL in one person. Imagine my disgust when I once sat next to this most repulsive bastard on my way to UST. Bad hygiene is a turn off, noh.
25. Whoever hates traffic leads the life of a fool. I mean, there's no use hating it, it's always there, and it's sometimes necessary. But then, that doesn't mean you have to like it or something.
26. Wannabe-famous celebrities competely indifferent to their acute lack of talent, goodlooks, or both.
27. Abortion. Or the "near-life experience." Funny, they also call it "pro-choice" as opposed to "pro-life." Might as well equate the word "choice" in this equation with "murder," since they're not "choosing" life anyway. Pro-murder, that's what it is, and regardless of the circumstances behind the homicide, it's still a dead child in the long run.
28. Politics. I just hate it for no particular reason.
29. Nepotism makes equal employment opportunity sooo twentieth century, doesn't it?
30. Excessive optimism. Those who have this should be hanging by the balls, upside down, stuck to a beehive. Which reminds me of something I read about an optimist who committed suicide. He lived through the experience, but his survival made him a pessimist since he was so damn sure he'd make it the first time.
31. Being at the wrong side of a door slamming. If it doesn't physically hurt, then expect a really offensive assault on your humanity or something. In your face.
32. Severely undertalented athletes, their boundless conceit, and their endless goatlike chewing on gum. Much like #26 up there.
33. The wrong claims to fame.
34. Chain letters
35. Gate crashing. I mean, they will send you an invitation if they wanted you there.
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