To Our Beloved Allison

**I am a cat person by choice. But we were dog people by default. This probably mirrors my deviant sexual preference... and that was an awful, insensitive joke.  Having said that, I will be suspending this week's scheduled cunt-bashing (that of Devina Dediva). Allison, the family dog, died from the complications of a massively ruptured tumor. 

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I was itching to squeeze in a bitch joke sideways, but this is a loose obituary of sorts. Now tell me, my darling reader, what is Phenomenal Restraint? 

Allison

Born: December 2002 

Died: November 19, 2013

My mother said that "When a family pet dies, she is saving somebody in return." Thank you, Allison. I remember the funereal treble of your awful pain. I can only imagine how much you really suffered. Be a good girl and be at peace now. 

We love you.