**Things like this get to you when you're big on common courtesy. And tomorrow's my birthday. Seriously.
I won 2,000 pesos, but I didn't get it. No, I wasn't imagining things; I swear to God I saw my name next to this soft amount this one time about two weeks ago. That empty accomplishment was short-lived, however, as the powers that be issued a correction, an ERRATUM a week later telling me they made a boo-boo. They issued a correction one week after they issued their congratulations. I didn't win after all. What a mess.
What pisses me off, what gets to me, what makes my shit boil and erupt in bloody splatters is that it took them a week to postpone a correction. No, they weren't doing landscaping. They weren't painting a two-story house. They weren't recovering from an appendectomy. They weren't quarantined for rabies symptoms. They just needed to issue a correction in the same way one would forward spam.
Those seven days in between gave me enough time to plan ahead. See, it's my birthday in a week, at least as of the writing of this post, and I can use the money for an additional two cases of beer plus four sets of the local poor man's brandy. I really don't mind cashing in on other resources to still make this happen on account of I love seeing my friends look like shit.
Maybe tardiness does have its own karma? What comes around goes around? I am a person of habit, bad habit for that matter. And maybe, just maybe, what happened to me is the universe's way of telling me to quit asking for another five minutes of sleep. Or maybe, perhaps possibly, I'm just a sore loser with a tired imagination. Universe my ass.
When is an Appendix Like a Penis?