Friday, December 05, 2008

Horror Movie Review #26: The Tattooist

**Here's something for you girls.

Directed By: Peter Burger (Directed TV episodes and series prior to The Tattooist. Noteworthy for NO scary films. That hasn't changed even after this film.)
Release Date: 24 June 2008
Running Time: 92 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Shamed evil spirits of native kick ass tattooists with a vengeance.
Sex? - One. Missionary. No boobs.
Gore? - One killer scene in this hospital where we saw this eye ball cracked vertically in two. Some "peeling."

Jason Behr has got the most formidable ass to ever bless any tattooed man on this here earth. That is the only thing to look out for in this movie, and it's somewhere during the first five minutes of this film. That didn't help. The eye candy that is his ass cheeks left this gay guy hard for more Jason Behr eye candy, and was severely disappointed on two counts: that scene was the prime shot in the film and remained king for the rest of the movie. And the movie sucked.

This means you best be thinking of something else with which to pass the tiring 80 minute roller coaster that follows. Or just google that lovely pair of man butt and do something else with the time you will probably be wasting on the film.

Here, allow me:

So I can't find a butt cheek image on Google. Looks like you might need to watch the film after all, at least for the first five minutes, if you're wet dreams need that much of Jason Behr.

Momel's Rating: 2/5

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