Saturday, July 14, 2007

Should you delete a dead friend from your Friendster list?

The last time I saw him was in Teriyaki Boy in the Mega Strip. We were, like, four tables away, and I was just so involved with my lunch that I elected to stay put and just greet him later. Hunger pangs do that, you know. I remember them calling the waiter, so they probably haven't ordered yet. I was thinking that I'll probably approach them later, after I've had lunch. But this heavy lunch was followed immediately by a couple of cigarettes, and since the air was so perfect outside, we decided to freshen out and smoke for another thirty minutes.

I never got to approach him. But then, I reckoned I'd just "make kuwento" the next time I saw him. Or maybe I'd just send him a quick message in Friendster and try to catch up on things. Not entirely personal, and not very warm at the very least, but at least it goes to show that I'm trying to keep in touch.

That message never happened. I was just so busy with my offline life that signing in to any of my online activities became the least of my concerns. Turns out that I'll have no chance to say hello at all. It was a few weeks since I last saw him that I learned of his death in a car accident. He didn't die from the accident itself, but he died from the internal injuries brought about by this terrible collision.

I didn't say hello when I had the chance. And, like the irresponsible friend that I am, I never went to his funeral at all. Maybe because I didn't know what to make of this situation which I never thought possible. But for the most part, I dreaded the thought of seeing any of my friends in a coffin.

Fast forward to almost two years today, and he's still in my Friendster list. But I guess there's still no point in sending him that message. I don't think they have Friendster from where he is right now.


  1. contessa1:44 PM

    hi momel, contessa here.

    i've always thought about stuff like that. i mean, what if i suddenly die? what will happen to all my online accounts?

    yes, i would want them to be preserved so my daughter can learn about who i am through my writing in live-whore-nal (blogging e-chus) and my life while away from her. but then, you know all those dawgs who keep hittin on you on myspace and friendster? will they even know that they hittin on a dead chick? kinda eerie..

    and...what about my personal email huh? well i guess that kinda erases itself after a bit of unuse..but..its so sad to think that its gonna puff out of existence when its something that brought one soul so much joy and happiness and connection.

    erm..yes i am a myspace, friendster, livejournal, stumble-upon, skype and yahoo messenger addict. i need an intervention..

    uy blackberry! (ooops)

  2. oh hello tessa!

    I guess he's still in my list for the same exact reason that you mentioned right up there: I'm proud of the people I hang out with. And yes, these same people helped form me, and I guess keeping them acknowledged is, in some little way, honoring them for everything they're worth.

    I guess you'd know that. You're in my list.

    No more cheese for me please.

    Har har! Miss yah!

  3. i was also thinking about that dead-friendster-friend thing. i know someone who died tho he's not in my list, i can still access his page. that was before. now i'm too scared to open his page. idk, maybe am scared of the memories and seeing his happy pics.

  4. i immediately liked how and what you write. this is NOT self-promotion and i am neither asking you to link me as i am definitely linking this awesome black blog, nor am i asking you to drop by at my dump site. mainly, i am just kissing ass. but what good and worthy ass.


  5. hello, momel. ang tagal ko ring hindi nakabalik dito ha.

    unlike miss contessa, i don't think about things like that. i'm too scared to do so.

    but when instances push me to do so, i just resort to my usual thought. i see death as a jump to the other side. no more, no less.

  6. Hello Rob

    I don't think of it that way though. Don't be afraid of dead friends!

    Yeah, you're still Rob to me. The Doubting Thomas prop never really penetrated.


    Oh hello Pat

    Feel free to link me, and allow me to return the favor. But I don't do blog hops as much as I used to. See, I'm becoming this house's absentee landlord.

    But I still think quoting Al Pacino's hell cool.

    Uy welcome back! @ IE

    It's nice to know that death can be that simple.

    I missed you and your writings!

  7. I offer no words to console you (if ever you need it), but I hope that the thought that I understand how you feel is enough. A friend died recently too, and what's weird is that I'm the one who made his Friendster account (but he manages it).

    Sorry to hear about your friend, and the lost chance to say hi to him before he died.

    But it's just Friendster, you know. What matters is what's real.

  8. it's good to know i'm still welcome here. :)

  9. Hello! @ Shari

    Thanks! And thanks twice for still coming back!

    Why of course @ IE

    And why would you think so otherwise?

    But you know what guys, somebody still maintains this specific friendster account in question. And why, there is a whole mess of drama going on just recently. It makes me think.

  10. There are many things that we culd have done that we didnt do, but that doesnt necessarily make us a bad person. If you knew that you could never say hello to him again, I'm sure you would greet him. BUt i guess we just have to live with the circumstances of our action.

  11. hi sir, i found your blog is very interesting and i am hoping that you can add my blog

    cge n a ha,ha?

  12. :(


    you don't... you simply let things be...

    walk away...



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