Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ow!

I'm sorry if I haven't been a visible blogger as of the late, but I am still a writer all the same. I had a lot of issues written down, and I'm still figuring out how to dispense my notes in a way that will preserve my... my... what's that word again?

This one's written in the afternoon of June 27, 2006.


I don't think I've had bad relationships in the past. What I know is that I AM bad in any relationship. I just don't make it work. Let's say the relationship is this three month fetus in the womb, and I am, for all the wrong reasons, pro-life.

Okay, so that's a bad reference. But it works.

I have this great wealth of cynicism in me, and it surfaces from time to time to work against by benefit. See, this is how it works in the real world: Pessimism is not good in a relationship. And I'm his universal poster child.

Therefore, I'm not good in a relationship.

I have all this room for doubt, and I make sure I dispense it in generous amounts. I bitch, and I've had all that practice in cold shouldering, and then I bitch more. My temper trends, and I make for the best anecdote in unfaithfulness. If infidelity was a whiny little bastard boy, let's say that three months just ain't enough to discipline the sonofabitch.

See me in the pool hall in two hours. With the way I slammed the door when he left ten minutes ago, it looks like I'll be needing a lot of therapy.

At this point, I really don't care if he comes back.

We talked later that evening, and I cooked up this fantastic song and dance about how apologetic I am for being all that blah earlier that day. Minus this little intermission number where punches were thrown and hair was pulled, we still agreed to see each other the next day. I was unharmed. He was pissed over some other dude.

13 comments:

  1. but he's happy to be stuck with you. and thats all that matters. right now at least. :)

    missed you!

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  2. carpe diem! and enjoy while it lasts! wag mashadong worried sa relasyon. don't be so uptight, honey. *mwah* miss ya mowmehl!!

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  3. hmmmmp...trust! foundation of any relationship. i believe!

    kung walang trus, walang kwenta ang relasyon.

    better learn to be good! all the time. there's always the thing so-called "karmA" ehehh

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  4. Hey! @ Ira I really like you for that ha. Mwah!

    Sabagay @ Butterfly Pearly, I really mustn't be so uptight. Or at least that hard on myself. Things like this makes me so want to forsake love. Or something close to it. Basta! Mwah!

    honga @ Lojika, trust. Sometimes I have trust issues kasi eh. Kaya siguro I'm not that compatible with the L word.

    Cheers Gurls! MWAH!

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  5. that's the thing with love eh...

    it's all bad yet you still want to get it on with him...

    you may not forgive him... you may want to kill him each time... but still... still... you want him there... by your side...

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  6. just enjoy whatever u have and whatever you're into right now ok?

    enuff of those complications.. those shits can come afterwards.. just let things be.. as for the moment ok?

    Luv yah dear! mwah!

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  7. if i were there, and i happen to be your best friend, i'll definitely give you a good beating!!! ;-)

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  8. give the guy three more months! he just might be the one who can make you stay (and be faithful)! :)

    dont bitch too much- causes wrinkles.

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  9. oo nga @ Lexan, it makes me recall the song "By Your Side." The Corrs. Hay, but I'll stop na from writing about him. Just about time!

    aw, thanks! @ Devilish. Will it be too much to ask for a hug? He hee, cheers!

    I'd love that @ Bry. My better friends hate his guts. I'd appreciate a good beating. I'm WAITING for a good beating. Hay. But enough about him. My next post will be about, uhm, cats?

    Oh hello! @ Patricia It has been too long ha! Thanks for the wrinkles advice, that might come in handy. He hee, cheers you all!

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  10. I, too, sometimes think I have the problem. My love tends to burn out quickly. ganun daw pagka-fire signs. >.<

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  11. hmmm. i don't know. passing judgement till everything pans out.

    anyways, you are a good person. stop beating yourself up silly for it.

    chill, too. i imagine the issues behind this might be driving you nuts.

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  12. i understand you about the cynicism (or i think i do). sometimes, it's safer to expect and prepare for the worst.

    but then again.

    nah, i'll stop. i'm pretty sure you know that by now.

    i do hope you can laugh about this with him, in the future. :]

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