Saturday, February 05, 2005

A Sad Disclaimer

**Let me explain the madness...

I began writing in the year 2000, and that was the time when I really started worrying for myself. I mean, things were going okay for a while. I'm a year away from graduating with a degree in mathematics, my single parent's doing well in her job, and her offspring are all in UST. In a year, I'd be a degree holder already, and I'll probably be looking for a nice job out there, what with the diploma and all.

Then I failed a major subject along the way. I thought all the while that this was something that I could just take in summer, or the year after that, but then I found out that I will be so fucked if I can't do anything about it. And much to my chagrin, I wasn't able to do anything about it. I mean, this wasn't something that they offerred in summer school, and the least I could do was to wait for it second sem next year. Or paint myself red and then run for the hills.

Which means that I wouldn't be graduating next year. The domino effect started taking place, and I was seriously fucked up. Big time. In this case, I only have two dominoes, graduating on time and then the bragging rights of a math graduate, but they both fell down with a deafening crash followed by a waving dirty finger.

I wanted to look at the bright side of things, like there was any. I mean, I'm going to have a full year to myself, do things I haven't done before, find a job or something. Hey, the joys of multitasking as a service crew sounds exciting, maybe I'll try that. I mean, what can be more fun than taking orders, serving noodles, and then going around the store armed with a bustrag, ready to wipe tables clean. But then, this excercise in optimism is damn futile. I knew that I was being stupid all along.

It was in the same year that I started growing my horns as a smoking fiend. I got acquainted with my current bestfriend, Marlboro Lights, and I got to know him better the more I spiraled downwards in deep shit.My mother hated that, and she reviled my smoking more than she did my stopping from school. But she did not cry over my smoking.

It's all going so great, until I found out that I won't be going to school next year.

Basically, this was what started it all.

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