This is a Reserved Post

Because I just submitted a book review to Ms Jessica Zafra. It's about The Bloody Chamber, and I'll let you guys know when it will be published. Another book review! Yeah bitch, I'm really writing again.

To the Butt Ugly Dude Who Is Not God's Gift to Womenkind or Gaykind. Combined.

**Unsolicited public service. Why the hell not?

I ask you Sir, I am humbly imploring you to, for the love of God, get yourself some pussy. A life? Well, that will be an enormous undertaking for someone of your social capacities. But a vagina? Sir, you will be pleased to know that you can, on occasion, find yourself a vagina with a receipt attached to it. Why, with just the right access to horse tranquilizers or some over the counter rape drug, you can also get lucky and get it for free.

It's either that, or a subpoena, but you need to take chances, right?

And there is even more good news, oh heavenly mother, in store for you! Listen to this: you do not have to be necessarily good looking, OH HELL NO, to score. I know right? Do I hear an amen? High five, homeboy, and two snaps in a Z-formation! Oh you don't do that faggot shit? I apologize. I was celebrating in your behalf.

There's no need to make faces, sir. I'm sorry what? What do you mean you're not making one?

My bad. I'm sorry. But you know what, you have got to learn how to know your angles. You have to know how to best present your angles. Lighting is everything, sir. Why, the right light will help conceal your sex offender features. No light, sir. That's the right light for you.

Which, I think, will best assist you in your intentions anyway. Get yourself some pussy. Distract yourself from your blistering love of self. You have no idea how annoying you are to the rest of us.

Ew.