GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OCEAN!

**Say it loud! Feel it roll!

If I won me the lottery, the first thing I'll buy is the South China Sea. So I can tell people to "Get the fuck out of my ocean! You're peeing my dolphins to death!" I'd tax them assholes for swimming in my sea, and I'll probably enjoy a lucrative return in my investment because I'll impose charges for even crossing my ocean. Of course I know it won't happen, but what the hell, right? That line rolls so good in my tongue, its near orgasmic. So I'll say it again.

Picture from Fugly.com

Your Ultimate Heartthrob Broke My Gaydar!

**Shit, and the poor little thing has got Wifi, too!


I think their ultimate heartthrob is well endowed. With this boner that ultimately throbs itself into a fierce erection. That stands at attention towards the masculine delectability of another potential heartthrob. Who may or may not mind the unexpected attention. Because they've been masturbating a lot in the closet. And they need some action, Now!, because their perspiration smells like mothballs. But I could be wrong. Wait until I upgrade my gaydar. And I'll even name names. Or at least I could give them some lame pseudonyms like "The Ultimate!" Ultimate Power Bottom, that is. At least there's still something ultimate about them.

And there you go.

A History Lesson From a Cab Driver

**This might not interest readers from other time zones in the internet. But its about the hands down richest person in the Philippines.

I learned me something new on this one cab drive to the office, and it explains why there are no Mercury Drug outlets in ANY SM Department Store. And this was according to an old timer taxi driver whose hearse, like him, has seen better days. And it should be mentioned, too, that the dude drives with a death wish, it's totally un-freaking-believable. Anyway, it turns out that young Henry Sy, Magnate of Magnates, Obscenely Loaded Super King of SM, had this makeshift shoe shop next to this Mercury Drug outlet once upon a time in Carriedo. What usually happened was that them Mercury Drug people would drive the young business tycoon in training away from the premises. This inflamed young Henry Sy, and he vowed that NO Mercury Drug outlet will benefit from his wealth.

He was squatting on another establishment's business premises, and so nobody paid him no notice and continued to shoo him away.

And so it goes that Henry Sy prospered with a vengeance. He now owns 33 department stores (which includes SM Mall of Asia, the Fourth Largest Shopping Mall in the World), controls two banks (Banco de Oro Unibank and China Banking Corporation), and, at an estimated net worth of around 3.4 billion US dollars, he holds the royal privilege of being the richest brother here in the Philippines. And, to this day, he remained true to his word. There are still no Mercury Drug outlets in ANY SM Department Store. Correct me if I'm wrong, will you?

I researched the details, but the juice was mostly due to this animated old timer who drove with a death wish. It took me five minutes to get to the office, and I gave him a ten-peso tip for the history lesson.

Did Hitler Really Ejaculate During His Speeches?

**One of the more nagging worries which prompted this post was my Keyword Analysis statistic in my hit counter. Apparently, people who Googled the phrase "hitler ejaculation during speech" found my blog in their search results. Try it. It's the first search result, as a matter of fact, it's way up there, first picks, like I specialize on Adolf's bodily discharge. A pervert finds a kindred spirit with a kinky Google search, but it's got Hitler on it, and I'm not having none of that shit.

The whole mess is alarming, really, a big fucking shock even for my desensitized standards. I know I'm thoroughly a faggot all throughout (every which way, don't need MENSA to verify that), but MY Final Solution (I aim to mildly upset people who I can't indoctrinate with my wholesome homo-ness) employs a Blogger Account, DSL access, and a steenkeeng mouthful of verbal diarrhea. I've never met a Jew I didn't like. Never met one, really, but I'm positive they're a thoroughly likeable bunch.

This association (being the top search result on Hitler's ejaculatory habits) is highly retarded. I just want to say that, but I don't mean to delete this other certain post which caused that fake celebrity. See, the reason why my blog ends up as a search result is largely due to this post I published in 2006. It's called "You don't need to know these things, but I'm sure you'll read this through," and it's a kinky enumeration of fetishes and sexual trivia. Nothing you'll tell your parents, though. Like, did you know that the word "Penis" is Latin for tail. Are you aware that soaking your testicles in iced water can increase sperm production? And did someone tell you that the word "masturbation" was only introduced into the English language in 1759? That post is charged with useless information that solicited a fair amount of comments at that time.

Anyway, item number fifteen on that post mentioned that Adolf Hitler frequently ejaculated during his speeches. It didn't give us no specific details, but that explains why I'm getting first picks. This post asks a question for it's title, and so it is just proper that I stop the introduction and jump to the answer itself.**

Yes. He did. And, on a lighter note, the sonofabitch's dead. He committed suicide, and he did it proper, too! He blew his brains out with a Walther PPK 7.65 mm pistol less than a day after marrying Eva Braun.

There.

What Hurts Like a Cheap Root Canal?

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