Saturday, February 28, 2009

It's Official

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Oscars are now officially outsourced.

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Alarming Sudden-ness that is Bebe.

**I wouldn't write this now if it weren't for you, Sis. No really, I'm referring to an off line sibling, and I'm not being chummy with the object of this post.

We should call it Silly-pines because everything here's getting increasingly ridiculous. They have thieving fools in the governance, and they get away with buttfucking us tax payers off of our hard earned cash. We have imbecile recording artists reviving random songs taken from some karaoke songbook and compiling them in some 450-peso brainshit album. We have Kris Aquino and Boy Abunda. And we have Bebe Gandanghari.

He used to be the dashing Rustom Padilla once upon a time, but the fagged out Bebe elected to kill that action star to give way to some aging drag queen that's as heavy on the act as he is on the blush on. That fag's mainly the point of this post, and I just wanted to pitch in the "Silly-pines" crap because I thought it sounded cute. But when you think about it, there is something agreeable with us being the "pearl of the orient." I mean, how fittingly appropriate for us to be compared to something that's created out of irritation. Which is all the more irritable now because of the unnecessary and unrelenting publicity on yet another faggot.

So he looks smashing enough for both genders, but that's immaterial. Irrelevant, even, because what makes this borderline indigestible display of new found gayness is that he seems to be enjoying it too much. Which is okay and all, but he used to be The dashing Rustom Padilla. I'm still looking for some sort of ceremonial gesture that'll mark his transition for what its worth: a burning of the closet mayhaps, or a long bath maybe to rid himself of the smell of mothballs and cramped space, or he can choose to burn Rustom Padilla "in effigy." Just give us something, anything to celebrate this moment, because that very fake moment in the Big Brother house don't count for shit; we were well aware you're a nominee for eviction. And you're just appealing to sympathy.

My problem with that is I'm not seeing none of it. I mean, what newly out gay guy is THAT flamboyant all of a sudden? My issue with Bebe is that I still can't get over his imaginary transition from Rustom to Bebe. If there was any to begin with. All I remember was that he came out in the Big Brother's closet, and he's suddenly this irritable drag act in the span of a year.

What's the rush? I mean, is he catching up for lost time? Because if he is, then Eric Quizon's got a lot of work to do.

Related Post:
Rustom is My New Darna

Saturday, February 21, 2009

How Was Your New Year, Babe?

**I was never a punctual person. So here. Happy New Year!

One of the many reasons why I hate fireworks is this: Blogging with three fingers to a hand will take some getting used to. So I won't.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Oh Madness

**Would you pay to have your fortune read?

LEO - The Lion Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

It's kind of hit and miss, but boy, does it hit! I have never had my fortune told by somebody paid to see the future, but I'm guessing them seers might as well be just as wordy. You know, the more they tell you, the more likely they'll get warmer. And in the very unlikely event that I will be paying to have my fortune told , I will probably be hearing all of it, but I will most likely be listening to none of it. They will never be a hundred percent right on, but I'll probably keep that to myself because I volunteered to pay them to see my future.

Oh, the embarrassment! I'll probably pay them extra just so they'll keep our little fortune telling session a secret

Friday, February 13, 2009

How to be Rude

**I love being a bibliophile.

I've learned that one of the better things to imply disinterest towards anyone is to take out a book and start reading while they're looking. In the event that you don't feel like listening to their brainshit yapping no more, then wait for them to finish what nonsense they're talking about. You can maybe force a nod to fake agreement, hell, force two nods for good measure, and then go back to your bookmarks. Timing counts; it makes you less rude than you have practiced to be.

A bigger book guarantees your point goes across, and I make sure I have one when I'm feeling like its going to be a decidedly long day. A paperback works too; it's like your swiss army knife, your panic button, because its size makes it available to you anywhere you go. There is safety in convenience because there's no telling when you're likely to encounter more than your daily share of really boring people. Magazines offer very little resistance because they don't last long. The bore will probably get it the third time you're reading from page one. That kind of defeats the point because I'm after the discretion here, and they aren't supposed to notice the conscious effort.

Of course, make sure you're reading something interesting. You're going to be more occupied that way, and that takes care of the body language you need to accentuate your disinterest.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Horror Movie Review # 32: The Exorcism of Emily Rose

**Possession movies rule!

Directed By:Scott Derrickson
Release Date: September 9, 2005

Running Time: 119 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Demon Possession
Sex? - No need.
Gore? - Supernatural athletics?

This film is sooo BOSS: who could've thought you can present a recorded exorcism ritual as evidence in a court of law? And I'm telling you, Reagan (Linda Blair) has got nothing on Emily (Jennifer Carpenter); she only had one demon, Pazuzu, possessing her, whereas Emily Rose had seven demons gang banging her body into possession. We have Lucifer in the roster, too, which makes it all the more super. If you're a fan of horror films based on true stories, then you should have The Exorcism of Emily Rose in your DVD collection.

Momel's Rating: 4/5

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Horror Movie Review # 31: The Boogeyman

**Under your bed, bitch.

Directed By:Stephen T. Kay
Release Date: February 4, 2005
Running Time: 89 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: The Monster Underneath Your Bed
Sex? - Not here.
Gore? - Cute.

Tim (Barry Watson) confronts a childhood fear in this slow moving piece of filth. It sounds simple, and it should be simple, seeing as there is no better way to narrate something as universal as that monster beneath your bed. But the problem is that it's scattered all throughout with unnecessarily flashbacks that pan to how the phobia evolved. I get it already. But I'm more interested in how Barry Watson challenges the Boogeyman as an adult. Or to be more specific, will he go for an AK47 or an elephant gun?

The ghost kid Franny had that Sixth Sense feel to her; finding that out was the only real trip to this film. See, the Boogeyman, being the title character, could have used a little threat-effect since the CGI failed to redeem it as a bad motherfucker.

Momel's Rating: 2/5


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